OK. Let's say that you have just recieved the Harry Skinner (aka Harcourt
Fenton Mudd) topSecret recipe for the Hi/P reduction of ephedrine synthesis
Of Methamphetamine.... gee, it's only about a half a page long, xyz was
right, this is really a cinch... of course you KNOW it has to work, you
paid $1500 for it... it's GAIR OHN TEAD !
Off you go to WAL-Mart to buy all the topNotch stainless steel cookware,
plastic funnels, candy thermometer, flour sifter, whisk, cakepan, drain
opener, stoppin' by Home Club on the way back for some driveway cleaner,
vinyl tubing, copper fittings, starting fluid and furniture stripper, and
don't forget the Handyman's friend, a dozen rolls of duct tape!
You get home, lock the doors, load up the sawed off shotGun, and you're
ready to cook some crank!
Now, EVEN THOUGH, you have the FOOLproof recipe, a temperature controlled
sealed burner stove from Kenmore and all the above mentioned, state of the
art technology at your fingertips.... STILL... things MIGHT go wrong.
I will have to resort to some rather technical, scientific notation to
illustrate my point here... you can skip over this stuff if it's too
complicated, but you SHOULD try to follow me on this if possible, fig 2
represents what you are attempting to achieve:
Hydriodic
Acid + l-ephedrine + P + sautee 2hrs = pure d-methamphetamine
o
p
\o / ~-~~ \ \ `-''
\o/ O\O : / / o O\O
| ~ . \ \ ~
h===i Q . \o / U
L _|_ _._ \o/ _|_ fig.2
\ / | \ |\ //|/\
\/ | \ d===\/ \|\ \
| \ /|/ \
| \ | \
/ \ E /p\ m
/ \ / . \
/ \ / : \
| \ | . \
| \ | \
_| \_ _| _._ \_
but before we start pouring martinis, snarfling rails and pissing on
ourselves, perhaps we should scrutinize our product a little more carefully
with the aid of POPeye's Magical Microscope...
and while we're at it, maybe review our synthesis to see if we've
overlooked any details.
First of all, due to forces yet unexplained, we know that the
electromagnetic field generated by the high resistance electric heating
coil on the stove can create havoc if one is trying to rearrange those
electrically charged bonding doohickey's nearby, like in a chemical
reaction. So it's a good bet we've got some mutated molecules somewhere....
let's take a look (fig.3)
yup, just as I thought, looky here:
( _ )
O\O
~
U fig. 3
_|_
//|/\
/ \|\ \
\ /|/ \
\,| \
<b\ Mn
/ \
/ \
| \
| \
_| \_
obviously some sort of aphrodesiac, some of these side rxns can work in our
favor, this will come in handy, eh?
HEY What the fuck is thi......... Who are all THESE GUYS in fig.4 ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-~~
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO/O
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\\\\o /
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||_\\\\o/
//////////////////////////////||\\///|
/////////////////////////////|||\\\/===L fig.4
////////////////////////////||||
///////////////////////////|||||
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM/////\\
//////////////////////////////\\\\
/////////////////////////////\\\\\\
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||\\\\\\\\
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||\\\\\\\\\
_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_\_\_\_\_\_
Looks like the stereo iced over...
... these boys have the majority, I'd say
The truth comes OUT. Too lazy to drive out to the truck stop, eh? You
bought pseudoephedrine from Wal-Mart, dincha? What's wrong, scared of a
little guaifamacallit?? Well, I guess old Harry forgot to mention this
reaction yields L-meth from p-fed. Hell,it's the cold season, we'll save a
bundle on Vick's Inhalers. Expensive way to produce an otc decongestant
from an otc decongestant, though.
Let's keep goin' maybe we'll find some crank if we look hard enough. Whoa,
check THIS out!
Some MESCALINE in fig.5 !!!
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_`_-_-_~\\~'//~~ ` > - . - ..'_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
- - - - - - - - - -`- '-_-.o0/0OOooo... . ` .'.~ _- - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - -\- - -./_. - . > - . - ..- - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - -/- - - .zZ \ ' . ``.~ _ .-.- - - - - - - -
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _`\ /_/ |/\ \ ` .'.~ _. - _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
\ \\/ \|\ \ \ - . - ..- -
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ /|\ \ \ ` /fig.5\_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
> \ \ \/|\ / \ -
/ // \ M -
- - - - - - - - - - - -/- - -//- - \\ - `.>- - - - - - - - - - -
/ / \ /
\ \ \ \ \ _ `
\ \ \ \
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _/-_-_/_ .. |_-_-_-_\ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
HEY, it could happen!!
Time to head for the HobbyShop, and spring for the hi-dollar stuff... Had
our eyes on the 3" poly fractionating column in the Jr ChemBoy Set. I read
on USENET that if you attached some hose to a sidepipe and sucked on it,
you can totally control the boiling points. Hell, if we run this rxn every
weekend, we can suck enough of them out for a hit...
in about 10 years
You always want to pour the HI (or any reactive drink) into your rxn vessel
sloooowly, why? Cuz if you pour too hard, or from too high, or from the
bottom of the liquid first, you always get a bunch of these smushed things:
see fig.6
~-~~
O~O / (some say these are from excessive
fig.6 \o / /_ \ use of magnetic stirs, that's ob-
\o/\|Q_\_ |/ M viously preposterous!)
d=== _||/// \\|\_
these are inert compounds. We call them inert because they're resultant
from sudden stops at high speeds, the effect of inertia. aka `the
J.Dean-Picasso effect'
As we all know, rxns should always be done in dark, quiet, preferably cop
free places, otherwise you will undoubtedly produce a variety of the
following analog.
`\|/\|/'
> O/ O <
'/|\/|\`
\o / Q
\o/ _|_
| \ / | \
f=== \/ | \ fig.7
| \
| \
/ \ B
/ \
/ \
| \
| \
_| \_
fig.7 You don't need POPeye's Magical Microscope Guide to recognize this
guy. This is a location specific active compound with a duration of a few
milleseconds. This goes straight to the buss on the optic nerve circuits
and fires everything at once. You cook enough of these pesky creatures
into the mix and you'll swear some CIA guy is following you around with a
flash camera.
Further investigation has revealed that the HI acid has been imported from
the Argentinian Chemical Industry. This can cause some real problems. If
the HI has not been stored ABOVE the equator for at least a year, many of
the electrons are still orbiting the neutrons in the opposite direction
causing utter polar chaos when introduced to Northern Hemispheric reagents
and compounds. Let's continue our search, with this in mind, to see what
kind of empirical evidence we can mangle to support this data, in a most
scientific way, of course. fig.8 a&b
~
0
\
|~ fig.8 a This molecule is out of phase, or in 'lateral
| aspect'. This is the quadriatic isomer and is extreme-
| ly rare in the stick diagram enviornment. It's prescence,
| generally an indication of polar chaos, provides con-
dl.5 vincing evidence for whatever it was I was just talking
| about.
|
M
|
|
_|_
I was sure that if we persevered, we'd uncover some of these.
`-''
o O\O
~
\o / U
\o/ _|_ fig.8 b
|\ //|/\
d===\/ \|\ \ d-methamphetamine
/|/ \
| \
/p\ m
/ . \
/ : \
| . \
| \
_| _._ \_
Imagine that! I knew there'd be some of them floatin' around in there,
POPeye's an optimist! Of course, we knew all along that those
counterclockwise HI electrons would knock SOME of those l-Meths halfway
around and foil the wretched Pseudoephedrine demon. Maybe we'll be closin'
the Mad Dog Saloon tonight, after all. Just like I said !
or NOT!!!!!
Remember when we spoke about imposters and blockers in our review of the
CNS ? Take a real close look at fig.9
`-''
o O\O
~
\o / U
\o/ _|_ fig.9
|\ //|/\
d===\/ \|\ \ ??
/|/ \
| \
/ \ m
/ . \
/ : \
| . \
| \
_| _._ \_
Line two ain't quite right, and something else is missing, too. But it
just might be right enough to fit the slot where our MethBuddy is trying to
expedite our synaptic lifestyle. He's a real first runner-up, this guy,
and an ace candidate for breaking off the key in the lock... A mutant like
this, in sufficient quantity could block some or all of the effects of
Methamphetamine. A fucking speed-blocker, the antidote, a goddamn CURE for
the Tweak! Just what we need.
This collection we shall refer to as GodKnowsWhat # 30,867 v1.1. Oh,
well.... shoot it up and hope for the best.... that's what I always say.
PART 5: Conclusions
===================
What AwHKAL does by design, with precision and near totality , creating a
respectively homogeneous rxn to tweak drug molecules or gently nudge a
single atomic grouping over one seat in the molecular theatre... is what
the chemHack or mediocre drug processor does with handgrenade precision in
random amounts and endless configurations in a single reaction due to the
lack of controls, skill, and sleep.... raised to the power of the
universal unpredictability factor.
The resultant menagerie of aminated cartoon characters will produce the
desired effect, close to it, something obnoxious, very little effect, or in
some wierd but true cases, the opposite effect... it's a bit of a crap
shoot.... Some of it will go on the market, some down the drain, and some
perhaps only to suspected gov't infiltraitors.
Visually, a product may seem homogeneous, with the crystallization taking
place so that the related compounds crystallize upon the surfaces of each
other in fairly even distribution. It's an illusion.
It is safe to say that some side rxns are going to be alot more common than
others, which is why there seems to be various recurring nastyFasty
flavors.
It is my humble opinion that the percentage of l-Meth in alleged Crank is
WAAAY higher than in the theoretical discussions, especially where
Pseudo-ephedrine is the precursor.
Trying to extract the desired product from all these closely related inbred
cousins is a real task for a real chemist... If you're good enough to pull
off the kind of distillation and column chromatography that would clean up
twisted streetSpeed, you'd be good enough to make the killer shit from the
gitGo.
This my friend, is the best I can do. It doesn't really answer your
question, but it's the best explanation I can give as to why your question
doesn't have a definitive answer.
Of course I gathered this information from only the most reliable reference
sources within the topSecret domains of SpeedLore and Methology. I've
often wondered about the same sorts of things, and that's why this Emale
has become an ADC Post. As for all the bullShit and bad jokes, well,
who's to say what's real when you haven't slept since your last dream...
and if you're going to throw your self to the ADC dogs, it's better to
humor them a bit first... they may take some pity, or perhaps just eat you
more slowly. On the other hand, if this don't draw some heat... I Give Up!
I'm goin' over to alt.limbaugh.worship with some <4 MORE YEARS!!> posts.
AS ALWAYS, I should warn you that I really don't have ANY personal
experience with such things, I've simply read everything by S.E Hinton and
just filled in the blanks with stuff from between the lines and rust on the
blade.
I would be terrified to take any kind of drug not prescribed by an ordained
Dr of the Medical Archdiocese produced by an Annointed Manufacturer of the
Scientific Religion. And you should not try any of this stuff at ho...
oooops, gotta go,
here comes my Mom.
-li'l POPeye
