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Who here has contemplated suicide?
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2017-06-17 at 3:02 AM UTC
Originally posted by Space Khat I just abuse drugs and hurt myself I probably won't be alive much longer
Scron, suicide would be the greatest gift you can give the world. Nearly everyone on this board would be eternally grateful. There are very peaceful and simple ways of doing it, you can get rid of your fair, any pain, with benzos and opioids. -
2017-06-17 at 3:26 AM UTCHTS, use the Kiss of Death on him. You'll be able to brag for the rest of your life that kissing someone lead directly to their death.
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2017-06-17 at 5:30 AM UTCI've never legitimately contemplated suicide because I'm much to vain to ever hurt myself.
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2017-06-17 at 6:30 AM UTC##############################
Post last edited by Nil at 2017-06-25T21:17:36.603102+00:00 -
2017-06-17 at 11:30 AM UTCI fantasize about it some days but would probably never do it, too scared of what it would do to my family and the possibilities of consequences in the afterlife
According to numerous people I talked to the next day and a thread I made here, I supposedly attempted suicide about a year ago, but I was so drunk that there's no way of telling what really happened
It was after the only non-drug induced episode of mania that I've ever had in my life. I felt on top of the world, super productive at work, barely needed to sleep, very giddy and happy and felt like anything was possible. Curiously enough the mania happened about a day after I quit taking wellbutrin which I had been on for almost a year
After about three days I crashed hard, and bought a liter of everclear, a bad fucking mistake
Honestly I could've been so drunk that I genuinely couldn't figure out how to shoot myself, but it's more likely that I was either too much of a pussy or being an attention whore (I turn into an insanely bad attention whore after a liter of liquor, one of the many reasons I only drink beer now)
Most days it's not really a "everything sucks, why should I bother" type of depression but a general dissatisfaction with life and injustice/unfairness/cruelty of the world and the fact that we're all totally powerless to do anything about itThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-06-17 at 11:58 AM UTCinb4 dr malice diagnoses kolokol with bipolar
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2017-06-17 at 1:20 PM UTC
Originally posted by mmQ I went to see the doctor yesterday morning, spur of the moment, no prior appt made. They said she had no openings but I pleaded my case that it was very important and they made an appointment for me not but 2 hours after I called- when I went there they literally called my name right away (I was a half hour early). I think they all knew something was up, and it was, because I was very very sad and very very tired and I haven't been on meds in 2 months and things have been getting bad (despite the sort of happy persona I've kept up), and I just sat there in the room staring at my feet because that's all I wanted to do.
Normally, and this might work against me, when I am depressed and see the doctor for whatever reason I always get into a semi-good, cordial mood when I actually visit with them and can't truly relay the sadness, lethargy, overwhelmed, exhausted feelings that I have. So anyway, this time I was able to, because it's how I felt, and I didn't feel like fronting.
I started at my feet, I talked slowly, I even cried when they asked me some questions because I felt so fucking bad about where I was at… AM AT. My doctor kept asking me if I had thoughts of harming myhself or others, I told her no, and she asked me if I would visit with the resident therapist, who of course was some skinny hot blonde in her late 20s, (why, of course? I don't know, but it made me take her less serious). She actually was fucking chewing gum and doing it like a stupid bitch which pissed me off but I was so depressed that I just stared at the ground anyway, it's not like I was gonna say something about it.
Anyway she asked me all the standard questions and things like that and I told her the best I could how I've been feeling lately, and then she like the other doctor started asking me if I was suicidal because based on my demeanor it seemed probably like I was definitely suicidal, in addition to the fact that I begged them to let me in there without an appt, and they both printed me up a bunch of suicide hotline numbers and kept asking me if my thoughts change from not suicidal to suicidal what would I do and who should I call and I'm like yeah yeah fucking 911 or go to the emergency room or whatever and they seemed so very worried for me.
I tried to tell them aside from fleeting thoughts that I could not and would not ever commit suicide but they seemed to think I was suicidal anyway.
Meh. That's my story. OUTCOME: I get put on a different SSRI, lowest dose. Can you believe that?
jesus fuck you are a bitch.
youre banned from replying to any of my posts. reason: too bitch. -
2017-06-17 at 7:58 PM UTC
Originally posted by NARCassist inb4 dr malice diagnoses kolokol with bipolar
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How would that make sense? He clearly stated that he only experienced mania once, it was a day after ceasing Wellbutrin, which he had been on for a year, and it ended after 3 days.
This clearly isn't a case of bipolar disorder. Childish distortions of who I am. -
2017-06-17 at 8:30 PM UTCyou take this shit far too seriously malice
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2017-06-17 at 8:38 PM UTCI contemplated it in my early teens, but it was just a cry for attention.
I cut my wrists once when I was 14 or 15, but they were shallow cuts. I wanted the blood to show, but I didn't want any real damage to occur. I remember it clearly, even though it was a long time ago. I remember seeing the scissors on my desk with the blue handle. I remember seeing that they were dirty and not giving a shit. I remember opening them up, feeling the blade press into my fingers as I tightened my grip around it and pressed the other blade into my left wrist. I remember seeing my veins and intentionally missing them because I did not want to die that night. It's scary thinking back on it. I might have wanted to die within the week, but not that night. I was obviously going through something though, to do what I did. Anyway, I remember the feeling - thinking that it wasn't so bad, pushing down a little harder, becoming angrier, and taking multiple swipes at myself. I remember watching the lines become red with blood. I remember my older sister coming into the room right after I did it. She saw what I did and began to cry. I begged her not to tell mom and she didn't. I didn't know what to do after that.
I went to school the next day wearing long sleeves on a hot day and my friends noticed me acting weird. Luckily, I had good friends. They made me pull up my sleeves, reluctantly, and they saw it. They turned me in, which sucked at the time. I had to go talk to the guidance counselor and she called my mom when she saw the cuts. I then had to go to the state guidance place and talk to the pros. They were asking me questions about why I did it and I couldn't come up with an answer. I decided I didn't want to kill myself and I didn't know why I did it. After a few hours and after talking with my mom, they let me go with some recommended next steps, which freaked me out even more. I told my mom that I didn't know why I did it and that I wouldn't do it again. I realized that I had people in my life that cared about me and that I was acting stupid, so I decided to turn my life around at that moment.
I haven't cut myself since that one time. My life turned out well - I have a good life and a good outlook on life. I think it's important to remember to look for the signs and to tell the people close to you that you care for them. You never know of their inner demons. -
2017-06-17 at 8:41 PM UTC
Originally posted by Ajax I contemplated it in my early teens, but it was just a cry for attention.
I cut my wrists once when I was 14 or 15, but they were shallow cuts. I wanted the blood to show, but I didn't want any real damage to occur. I remember it clearly, even though it was a long time ago. I remember seeing the scissors on my desk with the blue handle. I remember seeing that they were dirty and not giving a shit. I remember opening them up, feeling the blade press into my fingers as I tightened my grip around it and pressed the other blade into my left wrist. I remember seeing my veins and intentionally missing them because I did not want to die that night. It's scary thinking back on it. I might have wanted to die within the week, but not that night. I was obviously going through something though, to do what I did. Anyway, I remember the feeling - thinking that it wasn't so bad, pushing down a little harder, becoming angrier, and taking multiple swipes at myself. I remember watching the lines become red with blood. I remember my older sister coming into the room right after I did it. She saw what I did and began to cry. I begged her not to tell mom and she didn't. I didn't know what to do after that.
I went to school the next day wearing long sleeves on a hot day and my friends noticed me acting weird. Luckily, I had good friends. They made me pull up my sleeves, reluctantly, and they saw it. They turned me in, which sucked at the time. I had to go talk to the guidance counselor and she called my mom when she saw the cuts. I then had to go to the state guidance place and talk to the pros. They were asking me questions about why I did it and I couldn't come up with an answer. I decided I didn't want to kill myself and I didn't know why I did it. After a few hours and after talking with my mom, they let me go with some recommended next steps, which freaked me out even more. I told my mom that I didn't know why I did it and that I wouldn't do it again. I realized that I had people in my life that cared about me and that I was acting stupid, so I decided to turn my life around at that moment.
I haven't cut myself since that one time. My life turned out well - I have a good life and a good outlook on life. I think it's important to remember to look for the signs and to tell the people close to you that you care for them. You never know of their inner demons.
you shud totally make this your av
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2017-06-17 at 8:43 PM UTC
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2017-06-17 at 9:11 PM UTCIt enters my mind, but I am too ambitious to seriously consider suicide.
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2017-06-17 at 9:22 PM UTCYeah. Gave it a shot as well. Shouldn't have lived, but did. Still think about it, and doing it right. One day I'll take that wild ride on a noose
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2017-06-17 at 9:34 PM UTC
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2017-06-17 at 9:35 PM UTC
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2017-06-18 at 12:15 AM UTC
Originally posted by Kolokol-1 I fantasize about it some days but would probably never do it, too scared of what it would do to my family and the possibilities of consequences in the afterlife
According to numerous people I talked to the next day and a thread I made here, I supposedly attempted suicide about a year ago, but I was so drunk that there's no way of telling what really happened
It was after the only non-drug induced episode of mania that I've ever had in my life. I felt on top of the world, super productive at work, barely needed to sleep, very giddy and happy and felt like anything was possible. Curiously enough the mania happened about a day after I quit taking wellbutrin which I had been on for almost a year
After about three days I crashed hard, and bought a liter of everclear, a bad fucking mistake
Honestly I could've been so drunk that I genuinely couldn't figure out how to shoot myself, but it's more likely that I was either too much of a pussy or being an attention whore (I turn into an insanely bad attention whore after a liter of liquor, one of the many reasons I only drink beer now)
Most days it's not really a "everything sucks, why should I bother" type of depression but a general dissatisfaction with life and injustice/unfairness/cruelty of the world and the fact that we're all totally powerless to do anything about it
I feel like I could've wrote this exact same post for myself. -
2017-06-18 at 12:16 AM UTC
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2017-06-18 at 1:09 AM UTC
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2017-06-18 at 1:10 AM UTC
