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I was the victim of demonic possession.

  1. #1
    Bradley Florida Man
    Folks it was crazy in March I started having these weird black outs and I guess this loser half Mexican I used to be friends with took over control of my body for minutes or even hours at a time. Many of you remember Douglas Monks. So I would just be sitting there and I would feel myself enter the kingdom of heaven. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want them to accuse me of being on drugs but I didn't know what was happening.

    So hours or sometimes even days later, I Woudl feel myself come to in the present moment and I would be looking at porn, jacking off, getting my dick sucked in a public bathroom and I would think "Woah how did I end up here?"

    I would hear my friends haunting laughter in my head and the voice of an angry black man telling me to go away.

    Yesterday I saw a priest and while being molested he squirted holy water on my face and the demon left me.

    I appreciate everyone who helped me work through my demonic possession over the last 69 days but I feel like it's finally over.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. #2
    ner vegas African Astronaut
    everyone should sanctify themselves to be protected from his dark influence
  3. #3
    Bradley Florida Man
    I am now offering holy water squirts for a low price of 5$ digitally and 5$ + Priority Mailing costs via USPS for those interested.
  4. #4
    Originally posted by Bradley I am now offering holy water squirts for a low price of 5$ digitally and 5$ + Priority Mailing costs via USPS for those interested.

    USPS doesn't allow mailing of liquids. That's how I got my shipment of piss intercepted from Japan
  5. #5
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Bradley Folks it was crazy in March I started having these weird black outs and I guess this loser half Mexican I used to be friends with took over control of my body for minutes or even hours at a time. Many of you remember Douglas Monks. So I would just be sitting there and I would feel myself enter the kingdom of heaven. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want them to accuse me of being on drugs but I didn't know what was happening.

    So hours or sometimes even days later, I Woudl feel myself come to in the present moment and I would be looking at porn, jacking off, getting my dick sucked in a public bathroom and I would think "Woah how did I end up here?"

    I would hear my friends haunting laughter in my head and the voice of an angry black man telling me to go away.

    Yesterday I saw a priest and while being molested he squirted holy water on my face and the demon left me.

    I appreciate everyone who helped me work through my demonic possession over the last 69 days but I feel like it's finally over.

    That's one way of justifying sexual degeneracy
  6. #6
    Kinks Actually pretty straight [bitch the twenty-second stewpan]
    we could cleanse his unclean spirits
  7. #7
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Kinks we could cleanse his unclean spirits

    Unclean spirits are more fun. The clean ones are party poopers
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  8. #8
    Kinks Actually pretty straight [bitch the twenty-second stewpan]
    I WAS TOLD DIFFEREN WHEN I SHARED MY POSESSED STORY
  9. #9
    Originally posted by Solstice USPS doesn't allow mailing of liquids. That's how I got my shipment of piss intercepted from Japan

    just boil the holywater in a beaker until no liquid is left.

    scrape the powdery stuff left and this will be your dehydrated holy water.

    just add water.
  10. #10
    Iron Ree African Astronaut [my flyspeck near-blind refund]
    yeah it's been going around. The curse of the Nile is real and lives on this very forum.

    𓀔𓀇𓀅𓀋𓀡𓀡𓀕𓀠𓀧𓀨𓀣𓀷𓀷𓀿𓀿𓁀𓁶𓁰
    𓁴𓁿𓂀𓁾𓁵𓁯𓂞𓂤𓂗𓃃𓂾𓂺𓂹
    𓃞𓃙𓃖𓃓𓃕𓃓𓃜𓃘𓃙𓃟𓃛𓃞
    𓂺𓃂𓂿𓂺𓃃𓃂𓂛𓂏𓅱𓅥𓅩𓅦
    𓅹𓅸𓅳𓅩𓅪𓄭𓄫𓄮𓄬𓄗𓄑𓄌𓃦
    𓃧𓃨𓃤𓃟𓃓𓃅𓃁𓂽𓃂𓂊𓁾𓂀𓁽
    𓁼𓁠𓁛𓁟𓁦𓁜𓁭𓁡𓀔𓀇𓀅𓀋𓀡𓀡𓀕𓀠𓀧𓀨𓀣
    𓀷𓀷𓀿𓀿𓁀𓁶𓁰𓁴𓁿𓂀𓁾𓁵𓁯𓂞𓂤𓂗
    𓃃𓂾𓂺𓂹𓃞𓃙𓃖𓃓𓃕𓃓𓃜
    𓃘𓃙𓃟𓃛𓃞𓂺𓃂𓂿𓂺𓃃𓃂
    𓂛𓂏𓅱𓅥𓅩𓅦𓅹𓅸𓅳𓅩𓅪𓄭𓄫𓄮
    𓄬𓄗𓄑𓄌𓃦𓃧𓃨𓃤𓃟𓃓𓃅𓃁
    𓂽𓃂𓂊𓁾𓂀𓁽𓁼𓁠𓁛𓁟𓁦𓁜𓁭𓁡𓀔𓀇𓀅
    𓀋𓀡𓀡𓀕𓀠𓀧𓀨𓀣𓀷𓀷𓀿𓀿𓁀𓁶𓁰𓁴𓁿
    𓂀𓁾𓁵𓁯𓂞𓂤𓂗𓃃𓂾𓂺𓂹𓃞𓃙
    𓃖𓃓𓃕𓃓𓃜𓃘𓃙𓃟𓃛𓃞𓂺𓃂
  11. #11
    Infinityshockrates Tuskegee Airman
  12. #12
    Kafka sweaty
    I become demonic when I've had 3-4 cans of Monster. Was sitting in the dark for hours one night thinking only of how to terrorise someone. I went into my sister's bedroom to suffocate her with a pillow but she was awake. I think it has something to do with that aspergers malice. I'm not like this normally it's just when I've had too much caffeine.
  13. #13
    Kafka sweaty
    I remember leaving a hangman's noose in my sister's bedroom. It's been years since that happened so hopefully I'm okay now.
  14. #14
    Elbow African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Kafka I become demonic when I've had 3-4 cans of Monster

    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  15. #15
    Kafka sweaty
    My great uncle tried to stab my dad in the middle of the night once, didn't happen bcus he made such a racket it woke my dad up, so I just thought it ran in my family, but now that I think about it I've only been like this when I've drank too much Monster. Cocaine doesn't make me demonic.
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