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imagine this

  1. #1
    EduCaTional CATastropHE African Astronaut
    its a hot 105 degree southwestern day and you are PARCHED. your tongue is dried up and the hot sun is beating down on everything causing the vegetation to wilt and sweat 2 drip from your brow. just when you think youre about to die, you spot an oasis in the distance, a harbinger of life and everything good cold and sweet. squinting your eyes to try to make out the bright neon yellow sign, it takes some effort but you finally interpret it - LEMONGNADE but if youre a real G you know that the g is silent like lasagna so you know thats precisely what you need at that moment. you finally make your way to the door, and when you open it a blast of chilled sweet scented air hits you in the face, instantly bringing some pep to your step. gucci manes "lemonade" is playing loud and the bass is rattling the windows. looking left and right, you see attractive women dressed in 1950s style airline attendant looking outfits except they are covered in various citrus fruits and they are holding platters of dixie cups offering you samples. lemonade, limeade, grapefruitade, and tangerineade. or, if you prefer, freshly squeezed orange juice. you try one of each and they are all fucking dank. you cant decide which one is best so you just go with lemonade but then when its finished you have a limeade too. the ice cold chunks of sour citrus mix with the sweet liquid to soothe your soul of thirst and it invigorates you with new life.

    suddenly, your euphoric blissful state is interrupted by a pang of anger. HOW can something like this exist? are you kidding me? youve been working your boring office job your whole adult life, following the rules and being an adult thinking thats what everyone is doing and thats "just life" and then THIS comes along. WHO OWNS THIS PLACE AND HOW DARE THEY GET RICH OFF OF A LEMONADE STAND. it agitates you to your core but you now you cant stop drinking it. the cognitive dissonance you feel with every sip begins to become overwhelming. its NOT FAIR, ITS NOT RIGHT. one day, you decide youve had enough of that shit. in a blind fury you walk out of your job, go cash out all your retirement account, stock options and dogecoin reserves and invest all of it in the LEMONGNADE stand. FUCK GROWING UP u shout as we all become multimillionaires after dominating the world beverage market. pepsi and coca cola both go out of business due to the gravity of this new elixir and its impact on the worlds population.


  2. #2
    infinityshock Black Hole
    And this is why people shouldn't smoke crack
  3. #3
    maddie Tuskegee Airman
    105.. wait until it gets to 120.
  4. #4
    Originally posted by infinityshock And this is why people shouldn't smoke crack

    I disagree
  5. #5
    EduCaTional CATastropHE African Astronaut
    Originally posted by infinityshock And this is why people shouldn't smoke crack

    Right because they should be DRINKING it. You thought people dying over paneras caffeinated lemonade was bad? Just wait til my shit hits the streets
  6. #6
    cocaethylene is cool
  7. #7
    EduCaTional CATastropHE African Astronaut
    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood cocaethylene is cool

    what about cocaethylphenidate

    (its good)
  8. #8
    we45
  9. #9
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood I disagree

    too much birth defects and brain damage
  10. #10
    that's because niggers have no self control
  11. #11
    EduCaTional CATastropHE African Astronaut
    nobody truly understands the genius in this idea. its not JUST a lemonade stand. it doesnt JUST provide refreshment and quench your thirst in a way that is pleasing and easily valued. of course the non artist (or fake artist) will only see lemonGnade as a simple, maybe childish endeavor that just happened to take off and be successful. "beginners luck" or some shit like that.

    these people are effectively NPCs. they most likely have no or very little awareness of anything happening in their environment other than just responding to external stimuli one by one without any sort of overarching , thought out plan or methodology for doing so, but instead just rely on instinct and preprogrammed behaviors (either from themselves or swagger jacked knowingly or unknowingly from a tv show etc).

    but the ARTIST sees it for what it truly is. they see deeper than that, to the philosophical implications lemonGnade has on the normie psyche. see, the normie will see the lemongnade image for what it is on the surface and they will be disturbed but they wont have the wherewithal to understand why they feel disturbed. it will linger in their head, slightly irritating them, occupying a space in their psyche as something "dumb" or "ridiculous" that they enjoy making fun of to themselves or maybe with a friend or two until the day they coincidentally end up in a situation where they can try it. longing to confirm their feelings about lemonGnade, they will gladly think to themselves, "that shit must be garbage. any child can start a lemonade stand. im an adult! once i taste this lemonGnade i will confirm that it is shit or at the very best just shitty tasting corn syrup and ascorbic acid mixed together by some retarded 17 year old on high school spring break or some shit. theyll probably even screw up my order! fucking idiots."

    then they taste it and it is at this point the full genius of lemonGnade is realized (not by the adult in this story, but by those in the know). it will be DELICIOUS and this is what they were unprepared for. what they thought was a stupid shitty overrated lemonGnade stand was was in reality more like a skilled team of velociraptors, stalking its prey, having a raptor or two on each side of the victim, distracting them from the front, then rushing in from all angles so that the victim is caught helpless in the grips of the raptors talons (just like jurassic park). they are not even aware there is anything like an attack on their psyche happening at all until the moment they take that sip and its too late, and even then, they will not know what actually happened probably ever but at the very least it will take them 10 years or so of therapy and self reflection.

    you see, once they take that sip, all of their ideas about lemonGnade that they assumed MUST be true because they were based on the very models that the victim thinks the world works by instantly vanish in the icy sweet liquid and are flushed down the throat just as quickly. followed by ANOTHER sip and ANOTHER and ANOTHER and so on. they finish the glass without realizing they have just inadvertently flushed their mental liferaft keeping them afloat in a crazy world down the toilet. they only feel the PROFOUNDLY disturbing cognitive dissonance of suddenly realizing that all their education, hard work, office jobs, whatever theyve done with their life doesnt matter at all in the face of lemonGnade. lemonGnade is like a 90 pound 12 year old girl going into a kickboxing match with anderson silva in his prime before he shattered his leg and winning unexpectedly. and the most cunning part is that they of course will not be aware why they even feel that way. theyll just know in their head that they wanted to hate it SO MUCH but in the end it was delicious so theyre addicted and to top that all off they have assumed the beta male (or female no discrimination here tee hee) role to a beverage. they went into a business deal literally trying to rob babies of candy and ended up getting outwitted. the easiest, and really only, way they have to get out of the dissonance lemonGnade has created in their mind is to admit total defeat at the hands of the beverage stand and they will henceforth always look at lemonGnade as a sort of mentor or father figure, with a mix of admiration and wonder.
  12. #12
    EduCaTional CATastropHE African Astronaut
    this is your god now DEAL WITH IT

  13. #13
    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood cocaethylene is cool

    I'm going to take you down highway 95 and then we're going to talk about it?
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