Thanksgiving Bird 🐔 (and how I ruined it)

1. 2023-11-22 at 10:07 PM UTC

   #1
   

   Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
   
   
   
   
   
   
   Gosh damn I wish this holiday would get fucked off the calendar.
   Ffs in a month it's Xmas.
   Can't we just get together once?
2. 2023-11-23 at 12:04 AM UTC

   #2
   

   aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
   I dojn't want to see your turkey hole
3. 2023-11-23 at 12:47 AM UTC

   #3
   

   infinityshock Black Hole

   Originally posted by aldra I dojn't want to see your turkey hole

   
   you should ask him if you can cram your fist right up in there...stuff that turkey like mr hands at an equestrian gang bang...
4. 2023-11-23 at 4:59 AM UTC

   #4
   

   General Butt.Naked Space Nigga
   congrats you ruined it. Youre like 40 dude how are yiu such a gigantic nigger still?
   
   jk. partially. Um dont add that rub. Its ass. regular salt is fine just use less. I can walk you through the steps if you want, but most important is going to be getting that bird thawed. If you gotta run hot water on the i side, so be it. But you cant throw a frozen turkey in the oven or its a total waste of time.
   
   Do NOT put sugar n garlic in ur rub. It will burn. Salt n pepper, lil bit of paprika, thyme, red pepper, tiny bit of onion powder will work. Shove the turkeys butthole full of cut lemon n herbs, celery, carrots
5. 2023-11-23 at 5 AM UTC

   #5
   

   General Butt.Naked Space Nigga
   wait nvm you already seasoned it. Vaya con dios.
6. 2023-11-23 at 9:34 AM UTC

   #6
   

   Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
   
   
   9 hours till this is ruined and cooked.
7. 2023-11-23 at 11:12 AM UTC

   #7
   

   Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
   Strugalugalin' to get the smoker to temp.
   Cranked it all day way up.
   It's like 35 degrees out there dawg.
8. 2023-11-23 at 11:51 AM UTC

   #8
   

   General Butt.Naked Space Nigga
   Youre better off doing it in tbe oven assuming you dont have a nigger poverty oven. Stick a thermo in the turkussy n see how cold the inner meat is
9. 2023-11-23 at 11:53 AM UTC

   #9
   

   General Butt.Naked Space Nigga
   Jfc fona yore the patriarch no get ur shit together.
   
   On secnd thought why are ou doing the womens work? Do u wear tbe pants? Drag ur wife out here now n have her speak to me
10. 2023-11-23 at 11:58 AM UTC

    #10
    

    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]

    Originally posted by General Butt.Naked Jfc fona yore the patriarch no get ur shit together.
    
    On secnd thought why are ou doing the womens work? Do u wear tbe pants? Drag ur wife out here now n have her speak to me

    
    Listen here boy.
    I aint signed myself up for this surely not.
    Frick man this all got sprung.
    Times done ticked and tocked I can't go back now.
    Live and learn I started days too late, ill prepared and uneducated with it.
    Not my cup of tea.
    Get togethers are gay AF and whatevs but for my fam I'll toil.
    Geez
11. 2023-11-23 at 12:07 PM UTC

    #11
    

    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    Might move the bird to the microwave and air fry it.
12. 2023-11-23 at 12:31 PM UTC

    #12
    

    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
13. 2023-11-23 at 12:35 PM UTC

    #13
    

    vindicktive vinny Black Hole
    women are just like turkiyes.
    
    the part that matters is that part from the neck down and knees up.
    
    poor fona.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • The Self Taught Man
14. 2023-11-23 at 1:07 PM UTC

    #14
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by Fonaplats

    
    Now that's a delicious lookin bird. Enjoy Thanksgiving fona.
15. 2023-11-23 at 1:21 PM UTC

    #15
    

    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    
    
    
    While my wife cleaned the entire house I fixed the sign.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • Lanny, 
    • aldra, 
    • The Self Taught Man
16. 2023-11-23 at 1:32 PM UTC

    #16
    

    vindicktive vinny Black Hole
    is the turkiye graphical metaphor of you're wife.
17. 2023-11-23 at 1:52 PM UTC

    #17
    

    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
18. 2023-11-23 at 3:35 PM UTC

    #18
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny is the turkiye graphical metaphor of you're wife.

    
    Wrong Turkey, are you an Ottoman Nationalist or is your Autocorrect set to Turkish?
19. 2023-11-23 at 4:09 PM UTC

    #19
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by Fonaplats
    
    
    While my wife cleaned the entire house I fixed the sign.

    
    This is so great lol
20. 2023-11-23 at 4:24 PM UTC

    #20
    

    Lanny Bird of Courage
    Hey birb day y’all. And Godspeed to you fona, yer gonna need it