2023-10-12 at 10:35 PM UTC
Originally posted by Bradley
Hey everyone longtime local fuck up BradleyB. I haven't had a drink in 31 days and I Don't feel very thirsty anymore. I've had a lot of sober time on my hands.
I started a company similar to the state fair or like carnivals where you can buy sweet corn that someone grilled & dip it in da butter and then u got ur good ass seasonings right.
I titled my business Corn on the Curb and I have a sliding price scale just like the doctors office where if I don't like you it's 5$ and if I know you it's 2 for 5. Don't want 2 alright 3$ but don't tell nobody.
So I don't actually gril the corn, I just microwave that shit. And I got this wagon I jacked from some apartment complex like half mile away and spraypainted yellow and wrote CORN ON THE CURB on both sides, so we got a bucket full of feed corn (I pay like 15 cents a cob nigga), my boy found the microwave and it's old as fuck and dirty so I put a yellow sheet over it with the salt and seasonings and pepper lol so it looks real nicde.
I tried to cut costs at every level of production. So we got the stolen red ryder wagon (WHich I call the Corn Cab) and I don't have an external power bank strong enough for a microwave, so I just plug it into my former store I managed and sell to everyone who knows me. Instead of butter I use the cheapest margarin I could find cut with a little bit of this crisco, but it's more like lard. I got a fatass bag of salt but I put it into all the salt shakers and spice containers I could find, and then I also got spicy seasonins incase ur one of them mexicans from cuba we got a lot of. So basically we got dirty microwave my friend found, 1 night of perfecting the corn cab, I unplugged an extension cord from a construction site so they don't know I"m stealing their power and a sign that says
"CORN ON THE CURB" on some yellow cardboard and i shit you not.
I got like 80$ in two hours a couple days ago on my first day (I do this in the afternoon like right now except the owners there so i didn't go out today) and i'm thinking about expanding into other areas of the ghetto.
For lil kids we do the "Korny Kid Special" which is 1/2 cob kids eat free with paying adult.
So my total investment was the block of salt (15$ on the livestock salt like huge ass cube of salt), 10$ in feed corn on the cob still in the skin, and the grease was like 15$ from the mexican store for the biggest , cheapest jug they had.
Remember you can't be in the red if you don't spend that much and break even within 90 minutes of your grand opening.
Oh and I did buy 5lb of sugar which was 15$ as well or some shit.
I also put a big letter A (not with anything about the food board, but the same color, I just went online and took the food inspector page businesses that serve food have to post, cut the names and text out of it and so i just have a letter A and the date says last month lol I have it taped to the microwave.f
I take the feed corn, inspect it for bugs and dirt and then soak it for 6 hours in sugar water, I just throw them in a bucket and go to school then when someone orders I act like i'm getting everything prepared for them and i'm talking and i just hit start ont he microwavfe for 140 seconds.
second day it rained on my way there and i was kinda pissed, the third day I got about 50-60 bucks which was a wednesday. And today i'm fucked cuz that fat paki piece of shit that owns the place and doens't let honest, hard working managers who use fake names keep employment there.
So toorrow I'mma go outside the liquor store and sell it. I'm thinking about offering popcorn if I can find away to boil oil and pop dried corn kernels the feed store also sells. and just put the same lard and sugar on that shit too.
Bro people love some random ass white guy with the corncab sitting outside a business they got fired from for committing light identity theft with their dead friends name, who quit drinking and is now selling corn on the curb telling people he also accepts weed as payment.
Like kr0z dogs but way more ghetto, less friendly, I got a machete in the wagon, and noone knows the inside of the microwave is the same color as them.
Discuss.
Bradley has reached his Heisenberg character arc
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2023-10-12 at 10:35 PM UTC
Originally posted by Speedy Parker
The health department is gonna shut that shit down
..
Uh oh fuys the dark rattox is gonna turn Bradley in to the food police, for a 100 dollar reward
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2023-10-12 at 10:50 PM UTC
RIPtotse
victim of incest
[my adversative decurved garbo]
being on disability has to suck ass everyone of those people ive met r like brad or worse fr
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2023-10-13 at 2:18 AM UTC
Sudo
Black Hole
[my hereto riemannian peach]
I think the name Corn on the Curb is all you need to hit the American dream. Keep poppin
2023-10-13 at 2:32 AM UTC
Fonaplats
victim of incest
[daylong jump-start that nome]
post a pick of your corn cart
2023-10-13 at 2:38 AM UTC
Speedy Parker
Black Hole
[my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
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2023-10-13 at 3:25 AM UTC
Bradley partner up with speedy parker and sell dat corn
2023-10-13 at 4:50 AM UTC
RIPtotse
victim of incest
[my adversative decurved garbo]
brad got too meffed/drunk/cornholed/florida manned
2023-10-13 at 5:16 AM UTC
Originally posted by Speedy Parker
Seems more apt.
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2023-10-13 at 6:10 AM UTC
sell drugs under the counter.
2023-10-13 at 11:30 PM UTC
sorry guys i'm having a pretty corny night
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2023-10-14 at 4:25 PM UTC
Dip the corn in research chemicals
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2023-10-14 at 6:05 PM UTC
Bradley how is your business going
2023-10-14 at 6:41 PM UTC
Good I sold a lot of corn on the curb yesterday. People think it's funny, i told them we're trying to get a stripper for next week if I make enough and i was just gonna hire this prostitute i met at the crisis center two days ago at the hospital u'll love it
n im thinking about hiring some of the locals to help me clean up when i leave u know what i mean broski cuz my clientelle don't really like the garbage can bucket when they got the street 2feet away
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2023-10-14 at 6:51 PM UTC
I'm thinking about buying a corn on the cob suit and wearing it when I make my grand debute in the wealthier neighborhoods or by the beach but I'm pretty sure u need to get a health inspector license to vend food and this corncab, me really stoned, dude it's not gonna fly lol people thought i was kidding till i made them their first one bro then everybody hooked!
