2023-10-12 at 7:19 PM UTC
Hey everyone longtime local fuck up BradleyB. I haven't had a drink in 31 days and I Don't feel very thirsty anymore. I've had a lot of sober time on my hands.
I started a company similar to the state fair or like carnivals where you can buy sweet corn that someone grilled & dip it in da butter and then u got ur good ass seasonings right.
I titled my business Corn on the Curb and I have a sliding price scale just like the doctors office where if I don't like you it's 5$ and if I know you it's 2 for 5. Don't want 2 alright 3$ but don't tell nobody.
So I don't actually gril the corn, I just microwave that shit. And I got this wagon I jacked from some apartment complex like half mile away and spraypainted yellow and wrote CORN ON THE CURB on both sides, so we got a bucket full of feed corn (I pay like 15 cents a cob nigga), my boy found the microwave and it's old as fuck and dirty so I put a yellow sheet over it with the salt and seasonings and pepper lol so it looks real nicde.
I tried to cut costs at every level of production. So we got the stolen red ryder wagon (WHich I call the Corn Cab) and I don't have an external power bank strong enough for a microwave, so I just plug it into my former store I managed and sell to everyone who knows me. Instead of butter I use the cheapest margarin I could find cut with a little bit of this crisco, but it's more like lard. I got a fatass bag of salt but I put it into all the salt shakers and spice containers I could find, and then I also got spicy seasonins incase ur one of them mexicans from cuba we got a lot of. So basically we got dirty microwave my friend found, 1 night of perfecting the corn cab, I unplugged an extension cord from a construction site so they don't know I"m stealing their power and a sign that says
"CORN ON THE CURB" on some yellow cardboard and i shit you not.
I got like 80$ in two hours a couple days ago on my first day (I do this in the afternoon like right now except the owners there so i didn't go out today) and i'm thinking about expanding into other areas of the ghetto.
For lil kids we do the "Korny Kid Special" which is 1/2 cob kids eat free with paying adult.
So my total investment was the block of salt (15$ on the livestock salt like huge ass cube of salt), 10$ in feed corn on the cob still in the skin, and the grease was like 15$ from the mexican store for the biggest , cheapest jug they had.
Remember you can't be in the red if you don't spend that much and break even within 90 minutes of your grand opening.
Oh and I did buy 5lb of sugar which was 15$ as well or some shit.
I also put a big letter A (not with anything about the food board, but the same color, I just went online and took the food inspector page businesses that serve food have to post, cut the names and text out of it and so i just have a letter A and the date says last month lol I have it taped to the microwave.f
I take the feed corn, inspect it for bugs and dirt and then soak it for 6 hours in sugar water, I just throw them in a bucket and go to school then when someone orders I act like i'm getting everything prepared for them and i'm talking and i just hit start ont he microwavfe for 140 seconds.
second day it rained on my way there and i was kinda pissed, the third day I got about 50-60 bucks which was a wednesday. And today i'm fucked cuz that fat paki piece of shit that owns the place and doens't let honest, hard working managers who use fake names keep employment there.
So toorrow I'mma go outside the liquor store and sell it. I'm thinking about offering popcorn if I can find away to boil oil and pop dried corn kernels the feed store also sells. and just put the same lard and sugar on that shit too.
Bro people love some random ass white guy with the corncab sitting outside a business they got fired from for committing light identity theft with their dead friends name, who quit drinking and is now selling corn on the curb telling people he also accepts weed as payment.
Like kr0z dogs but way more ghetto, less friendly, I got a machete in the wagon, and noone knows the inside of the microwave is the same color as them.
Discuss.
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2023-10-12 at 7:20 PM UTC
the guy who runs the little supermarket told me to get fucked when I asked him if I could plug my shit in and jsell corn, saying no one will buy it and i said so why you care then
and he said if people do buy it they won't come inside and give him business and i said what if i just do it on the curb like corn on the curb and he gave me the dirtiest fucking look that I knew it was gonna be a money maker.
2023-10-12 at 7:22 PM UTC
forgot to mention the same black people that don't have any moneyafter begging for free shit for 10 minutes when I finally say i accept drugs they pull out a big ass bag of weed and bust me off a nug. like waht the fuck so I probably got 4-5 grams worth of weed which i smoked while making corn and sweating, also my shit looks like a corn cob and everyone in my apartment complex is tired of eating the corn.
I do 1$ cobs at my house for all my neighbors who have kids and shit cuz bro it's like 30 cents for each cob lol
2023-10-12 at 7:34 PM UTC
I got 2 propane griddles on amazon open box special for $80 each, and a small propane fryer for $60, and then jack the propane from in front of the drug store, and then buy all the beef, buns, veggies, condiments, frozen fries, etc with the EBT card that isnt enough money to cover a month anyway. Been out a couple times n people dug it. Do a jalapeno popper burger with poppers chopped up on the bun, spicy queso and grilled onions. I wanted to do a birria burger but i dont wanna pverextend myself.
2023-10-12 at 7:40 PM UTC
ya that's nice here that would be stolen within 20 minutes unless you had a CCL and balls.
2023-10-12 at 7:44 PM UTC
So there's 2 other people tha tsell food within 10 blocks from here. 1 has a big ass truck starts on friday and sunday bright and early at 11am and grills ribs and everything smokin on slow while he sits there and drninks.
Then u got the black ladlies that I don't like that stand outside the liquor store closest to my house and they got a little like the backyard ones that are the size of a plate and they just be steady making money and got potato salad and chips and water and don't want to have sex with me just want to h charge me like 10 dollars when everyone getting it for 5 and then gave them 4 cuz i'm a hood nigga
plus i'm 1 of 4 white guy (White Ryan is his gang name now) moved into my complex and he's a weird fucking cracker for real
i'm in the swamp with them too shit i gotta eat too, i fuckin hate corn already. It's a corny way to live out here as a cracka sellin corn on the curb that lives a block away jajajaja
n if thedy think im a nazi (a common belief some hold of me) i just tell them u know im a faggot right dog? I just kinda don't talk about it.
LOL
2023-10-12 at 7:46 PM UTC
bbq plate of ribs and shit and everyhting u want to fill u up in a togo container full 8-10$ depending on what u want
the black ladies do there's for 5$
I sell corn ont he curb for 3$ (cuz no one pays 5$ for a corn cob I just say that shit to fuck with ppl and then hit em with the 3$ and kids eat free!~!~!~! Korny Kid Special i came up with that too)
We're considering going on shark tank and offering a 49% holding in our rapidly growing industry. Coming to a curb near u hollah
2023-10-12 at 7:46 PM UTC
Sounds like a shithole. Move to california the government gives you everything and theres a diverse gay community you can choose from to butter ur cob
2023-10-12 at 7:47 PM UTC
black ladies only do the hot dogs and cheese burgers btw
2023-10-12 at 8:08 PM UTC
Nice. You got your food truck business in the bag, sounds like. Make bank slanging elote like the coyote slang humans.
2023-10-12 at 8:18 PM UTC
Elote Coyote would be a good logo for the side of the corn wagon
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
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2023-10-12 at 8:21 PM UTC
Speedy Parker
Black Hole
[my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
The health department is gonna shut that shit down
..
2023-10-12 at 9:05 PM UTC
RIPtotse
victim of incest
[my adversative decurved garbo]
ok now i get it bradleys hxc on meff got it
2023-10-12 at 9:26 PM UTC
totse2118
Space Nigga
[my ci light-haired pongee]
Originally posted by RIPtotse
bro lol wot is happening
hes staring a biz h8er
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2023-10-12 at 10:21 PM UTC
aldra
JIDF Controlled Opposition
yeah get a shitty grill or toaster oven instead of a microwave
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