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How does one receive a grant or how do scientists work

  1. #1
    eBagger Tuskegee Airman
    Can somebone help me write smart enough to sound worthy of receiving some sort of scientific grant? Does NiS have some sort of pell grant one can apply for?

    I am interested in anabolics, holistic health, cannabis, marine biology, pharmacology, sociology, quality control, logistics, English and language arts, stuff like that. Like, somebody help me take the game "Sim Farm" and "farming simulator" and put it in word form to theorize worldwide food distribution analysis apply it to a real life scientific grant. See, I have no fucking clue what I'm talking about, but those previous words had an intelligent ring to them. I believe short dissertations are my strong point, and what I enjoy the most.

    Somebody start a science research firm and hire me to sound smart and see what happens when crabs and snake/liserds/squirrels inhale THC smoke and things of that nature. Thank you, have a good day ahead.
  2. #2
    totse2118 Space Nigga [my ci light-haired pongee]
    start yer own journal #opensourcescience

    https://arxiv.org/archive/nlin
    https://www.scientificexploration.org/journal-library

    Originally posted by Ghost nah he posts news articles, thats an underground chemist explaining how there are no real "experts" in anything and in fact the so called "experts" are usually just a bunch of fart huffing smelling each others ass fumes and if you try to talk to them like a normal person not like some self important academic fuck head know it all, they won't take you seriously and probably make fun of you later for not being part of the mileu

    Armchair expert milieu yeah you guys sure love experts which is why you totally believe all the modern journals about LGBT transgender studies and covid vaccines, right? You aren't anti science wackjobs against climate change are you?

    Trust the science!

    Originally posted by scuffed jim carrey JSTOR - digital library of academic journals, books, and primary sources
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  3. #3
    Meikai Heck This Schlong
    This is why I wanted to found the Holt-Mabier Institute for Retard Science (haha get it - holt-mabier... "hold my beer"), which evolved into the Holt-Mabler Institute that sploo founded. Alas, he's gone too soon, and Holt-Mabler never really got off the ground.

    (To be clear, I mean I wanted to found it for stuff like "how do liserds respond to weed smoak" not grant money, but in hindsight my priorities were probably in the wrong place.)
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  4. #4
    eBagger Tuskegee Airman
    Thats great totse, now if you can help me compile all that info you have there into a way somebody sends me a check for $5,000 for some sort of broad-spectrum, non-specific research journal contract that'd be great

    That sounds great Meikai, continue forth with newfound energy and let me know when you get funding available
  5. #5
    totse2118 Space Nigga [my ci light-haired pongee]
    You only get funding by either publishing something with a corporate backing or something like 97% of climate scientists agree that climate change is bad and we're all gonna die.

    The other 3% didn't get published/funded (so actually it's 100% of scientists TRUST THE SCIENCE)
  6. #6
    totse2118 Space Nigga [my ci light-haired pongee]
    This Korean dude got published and funded basically by social engineering the scientific community and doing a lot of trickery

    I imagine his methods aren't much different than how legit "science" gets funded and published and scientists become "famous" while physicists and nerds who crack out over papers aren't famous but have more credentials.

    It's eerily similar to how hollywood or other such industries work it's all a PR game at the end of the day. Same with INDUSTRY which nowadays is all companies going WE EMPLOY PEOPLE WE GO GREEN when it's a bunch of machine heads in a factory that make screws and lugnuts but to the shareholders they just see line go up

    same exact thing with science

  7. #7
    totse2118 Space Nigga [my ci light-haired pongee]
    the legit way is just getting your research published in lots of smaller journals but I read lots of stuff from those and people dedicate their lives to it and pay for their own research out of pocket from money they make working and they invest a lot, time and money into these subjects for a chance that one gets big and they can get more funding

    This guy was broke until his research and products became the backbone of an entire technological revolution but most people don't have any kind of value or relevant science all lined up for society to gobble up. I'm sure people that fuck with computer stuff or robotics have a leg up on a laser researcher or cancer researcher but you never know. Vaccinologists and disease researchers are probably raking in the big bucks for years to come now

    https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=DLP9gTAAAAAJ&hl=fr

    this guy is mostly famous for crypto stuff but what real technology people in the community care about is if they have more than just a corporate front, like real technology and it's not widely understood that Vitalek has published scientific papers about cryptography so what he says isn't complete bullshit unlike 99% of crypto people
  8. #8
    Just find a politician who will pay you to claim what they want you to claim.
  9. #9
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Originally posted by eBagger Can somebone help me write smart enough to sound worthy of receiving some sort of scientific grant? Does NiS have some sort of pell grant one can apply for?

    I am interested in anabolics, holistic health, cannabis, marine biology, pharmacology, sociology, quality control, logistics, English and language arts, stuff like that. Like, somebody help me take the game "Sim Farm" and "farming simulator" and put it in word form to theorize worldwide food distribution analysis apply it to a real life scientific grant. See, I have no fucking clue what I'm talking about, but those previous words had an intelligent ring to them. I believe short dissertations are my strong point, and what I enjoy the most.

    Somebody start a science research firm and hire me to sound smart and see what happens when crabs and snake/liserds/squirrels inhale THC smoke and things of that nature. Thank you, have a good day ahead.

    need degrees bruv and experience really. i have an associates degree which helps nothing at all if that helps
  10. #10
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    Try pulling your cheeks apart.
    Grant will find a way.
  11. #11
    eBagger Tuskegee Airman
    totse2118 is the only user actually using their brain and saying things that is triggering me to think of other things and ideas, and that is how things are born. I will expand on this after I brainstorm.

    Not this "bribe a politician" "You need degrees bruv" talk

    Originally posted by RIPtotse need degrees bruv and experience really. i have an associates degree which helps nothing at all if that helps

    I have several degrees (English and Business) and certified to work with engineering software. None of this has helped me. Business is a joke, its like impossible to earn an honest living in current day with any fulfillment unless you really enjoy a trade or skill that is specialized enough to warrant payment (Such construction, repair, plumbing/electrician). But I mean if you were born in the 80's, it should weird you out how much money has spread out; Like technology shifted the possibility spectrum so much, people can become overnight marketing machines just with some fucking local mom tupperware like enthusiasm and ingenuity ya know? Kind of like how OnlyFans changed the game. God I wish I knew some even mildly competent or sane ho's
  12. #12
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    wnglish and bidness is getting us no where fool

    need moar math and sci

    my brother recently got security clearance and began working at /an aerospace company/, but he has a masters in electrical engineering, but hes working on a program similar to what your saying, although under /an aerospace company/ and federally funded.

    your gonna need a hard sci or math degree, my other brother has his in theoretical physics and they hardly qualify for grants if that tells you anything

    shits hard yo
  13. #13
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Originally posted by eBagger totse2118 is the only user actually using their brain and saying things that is triggering me to think of other things and ideas, and that is how things are born. I will expand on this after I brainstorm.

    Not this "bribe a politician" "You need degrees bruv" talk

    sorry i didnt realize you were retarded my bad
  14. #14
    wokeness, climate change, black empowerment and tranny supremacy are all the rages these days.

    any "studies" that further the supremacy of these subjects gets you all the grant you want.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  15. #15
    totse2118 Space Nigga [my ci light-haired pongee]
    another way to get funding is just don't write papers and become a science youtuber instead. Film experiments, get paid. I actually see this work out for a lot of people.

    Like the crazy australian explosives chemistry guy or codys lab



    this dude was supposed to be a video gamer youtuber i think but instead he's a science man now, a robot man and makes the big bucks. I'm sure he gets into any party with scientists and probably has neil degrass tyson following him on twitter
  16. #16
    also holocaust is the single most consequential event in recorded human history and its effects are felt around the world to this day.

    study the impact of holocaust on the population of proboscis monkeys in south east asia.
  17. #17
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny wokeness, climate change, black empowerment and tranny supremacy are all the rages these days.

    any "studies" that further the supremacy of these subjects gets you all the grant you want.

    prolly true you wouldnt need much but a dumbass sociology degree or something for this
  18. #18
    i have a major in holocaust studies
  19. #19
    totse2118 Space Nigga [my ci light-haired pongee]
  20. #20
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny i have a major in holocaust studies

    cool did u also minor in pedophilia?
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