2023-10-01 at 10:53 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo
Finally a thread for me!
I was talking to my friend today about how "defects" can be evolutionary advances in a tribal setting. He said the only one that wouldn't be would be depression (anxious/insomniac person would guard from predators, autistic would figure new things out etc) and I countered with depression being a perspective changer and possible creative boost. Idk tho fam shits pretty gay
I'm basically always battling depression in one form or another. Females make me depressed, then briefly not so depressed, then much more depressed. I feel bad for all the things I've fucked up and all the things I was too pussy to try. I fucked things up and have given up on myself in alot of ways.
Having kids is hard to fight through depression because kids don't know it and shouldn't have to deal with those vibes. There's times when my kid will be leading me by the hand to play and I'm so depressed I just want to sit down and stare at nothing or zombie scroll thru my phone and retain nothing. When ur depressed for long periods of time it affects your memory. Opiates kill me too. Right now I'm doing the Littlest about of opiates that I have done in a while, hence using this website as a coping mechanism again, so I'm starting to feel things again and its pretty xool but also depressing and scary.
I feel like I have such ease navigating some things and a complete inability to navigate others. I'm so blessed in so many ways, it's fucked I'm still never going to feel I have everything I need. I hate that there are people I strongly desire to hurt that are still out there. I feel like the day I conquer my depression and mental illness and actually want to engage in life I get in a car crash and die. I've had so much pain and turmoil to go thru 30 some years of that turn just become a washed up zombie is such a shitty way to live. I'm not saying I deserve better I'm just saying I wish I had a clearer path to the things I desire where I wasn't always sabotaging myself every step of the way. Why do I even want to bring more ppl into this world? Probly ego.
You motivated me to get out of bed , time to eat a TV dinner and a coffee
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2023-10-02 at 12:32 AM UTC
I wore these old Addias last night and the arch of my feet hurt so fucking bad last night. Im still in pain.
2023-10-02 at 12:32 AM UTC
Originally posted by I Live In Your Crawlspace Secretly4
You motivated me to get out of bed , time to eat a TV dinner and a coffee
You're living at Lanny and Lala for real? how's their new house
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2023-10-02 at 1:15 AM UTC
Originally posted by Chios Honey
im sorry, what?
lmfao franky
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2023-10-02 at 1:37 AM UTC
is it coat tails or coat rails?
riding on my coat rails i believe. I always thought it was riding the grooms coat tails.
what the fuck is a coat rail?
apparently it isn't a Groom (getting married) and his coat tail which I always thought. it's a Coat's Rail. when hanging your coat you follow them and hang yours. or some weird shit.
also there is a Riding Horse rail and the rail which is the mane is an expression of one lap behind or neck and neck.
its really strange how saying are used out of its original historical context but often means the same thing when used in a figurative saying. and that is where 'Free Form Association" comes in handy.
2023-10-02 at 2:29 AM UTC
Focusing on ones self can be rewarding. Wake up, eat healthy and sparse, exercise, take medication for whatever your body or mind might be lacking (Usually just testosterone and marijuana, nothing like narcotics or anti-depressants), engage in hobbies, all of which are at their peak with technological advances. At least the things you can do solo.
TL;DR - Eat - Smoke - Lift- Wack off - Cold Shower - Nap - Game - Read - Jog - Sleep/tiktok - Repeat
Take nootropics and create new neural pathways. Play simulation and military games or something. Learn Battle for Wesnoth. There is no time for depression probably.
