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folie a trois
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2023-09-22 at 5:57 PM UTCCouple weeks ago gf and I go to this little hipster divey bar by her place. Towards the end of our night, I walk up to pay the tab. One of the bartenders is this tiny brunette. Dark, shoulder length curly hair, I think green eyes. Dark eyeshadow, metal bangles, boots dark lipstick. Cute. I plunk down my CC to settle up, and gf walks up next to me as I do. She and the bartender meet eyes as the bartender picks up my card, and gf does this weird eyebrow raise/fake smile/eye roll thing that women do sometimes. When we sit back at our table,i ask
“So what was about?”
“Huh?”
“What. Was. That. About?”
“What are you talking about?”
“The look you gave the bartender that looked like you were smiling through a wet fart”
“Thats disgusting…….Its a long story.”
“………………..”
“Youre not going to be weird about it?”
“Weird about what?”
Turns out she and this girl had hooked up a few months before gf and I started dating. (Shes pretty gay). My reaction is just “Oh. Right on”. She does another incredulous eyebrow raise. “Whats that supposed to mean?” Literally means nothing to me. “That doesnt DO something for you? Isnt that what all guys are into?” Not necessarily, no. “So you wouldnt fuck her?” Not unless thats something YOU’RE into.
Long, narrowed eye stare.
“So it wouldnt make you jealous to see another girl eating me out?” Not really, no. “Thats dumb. Why not?” Idk. Dude brain i guess. “You realize if i leave you for anyone, its probably gonna be a girl?” Thatd be unfortunate. “Im not opposed to it. But thered be like strict rules- non negotiable. 1. No one we know, none of our friends. 2. You dont get to cum in her. 3. She doesnt get to give you oral and vice versa”. That part struck me as weird. Seems like a weird line to draw. She says oral is WAY more intimate. I never felt that way at all. If anything it felt like the opposite. A blowjob or eating pussy is just kind of a sexy handshake. But she sees it very differently. In any case, its not super high on my list of priorities, and knowing how jealous she gets, itd probably result in a domestic dispute (even though this was kind of her suggestion). I will admit that tag teaming the little bartender with my gf or watching her lick my nut from between my gfs legs sounds pretty hot but not at the cost of potential drama i dont think. I dont think this was even a suggestion for the immediate future, but it got me to thinking :
1. Would you even open this pandoras box at the risk of of having some dude slide in ur girls box further down the line?
2. Why do men not feel any existential threat at the thought of a girl having sex with the woman you love?
3. Why do women feel that oral sex is more imtimate?
This has been my contributionThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-09-22 at 6:02 PM UTCThe difference is men perform oral sex on women usually to wet her up and get her in the mood before you stick it in. Women will suck their man to completion getting nothing in return and then he zips up. How many times have you ate a chick’s pussy and then when she finishes you just stop and go “alright that’s enough of that”. You obviously wanna get your rocks off too.
That’s what makes it more intimate for women, it’s an act of unselfish loveThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-09-22 at 6:13 PM UTC
Originally posted by General Butt.Naked 1. Would you even open this pandoras box at the risk of of having some dude slide in ur girls box further down the line?
Nah, that shit sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. She'll be into it today, but it's going to be cheating somehow tomorrow.
Originally posted by General Butt.Naked 2. Why do men not feel any existential threat at the thought of a girl having sex with the woman you love?
I think the usual idea is that bi gals get something different out of dudes vs. other women. While not universally true, I've known very few bi women who were in any sort of long term relationship with another woman, or if they were it's "not doing that again lol". Bitches are crazy, and no one knows that better than other bitches. The value prop of the D isn't replaced by any quality or quantity of gash. -
2023-09-22 at 6:14 PM UTC
Originally posted by Fox The difference is men perform oral sex on women usually to wet her up and get her in the mood before you stick it in. Women will suck their man to completion getting nothing in return and then he zips up. How amany times have you ate a chick’s pussy and then when she finishes you just stop and go “alright that’s enough of that”. You obviously wanna get your rocks off too.
That’s what makes it more intimate for women, it’s an act of unselfish love
I guess? Idk. If the pussys good ill do it on a whim just to have a snack. Oral sex always just seemed so casual to me. But if that is the case that men giving oral sex is just a Prelude to Penetration (book 2 of the Hitchhiked into Conception trilogy), then i dont get why shed take issue. I just cant wrap my head around the fact that shed be okay with me potentially putting my cock in this girl, but not put my tongue on her. I mean obv im not going to complain but 🤷🏻♂️ -
2023-09-22 at 6:19 PM UTC
Originally posted by Lanny Nah, that shit sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. She'll be into it today, but it's going to be cheating somehow tomorrow.
I think the usual idea is that bi gals get something different out of dudes vs. other women. While not universally true, I've known very few bi women who were in any sort of long term relationship with another woman, or if they were it's "not doing that again lol". Bitches are crazy, and no one knows that better than other bitches. The value prop of the D isn't replaced by any quality or quantity of gash.
Shes been in multiple year relationships with a couple of different women and almost married one. I just feel like maybe male sexuality is this dumb animal sexuality where anyone thats not penetrating my woman (who is, in fact, my property) with a penis is nothing to take seriously. ITS JUST A LIL HORSEPLAY. I guess ive never been in a situation to test my theory but at the mere thought if it, i dont feel any tinges of anything. -
2023-09-22 at 6:21 PM UTCI mean I’m just talking like psychologically, I doubt she could articulate why it’s more intimate it just is subconsciously, probably because of what I said.
Did she say anything about kissing, are you allowed to kiss this bitch? -
2023-09-22 at 6:27 PM UTC
Originally posted by General Butt.Naked Long, narrowed eye stare.
Lol
Originally posted by General Butt.Naked 2. Why do men not feel any existential threat at the thought of a girl having sex with the woman you love?
Some do. I had a guy break up with me once over this.
Originally posted by General Butt.Naked 3. Why do women feel that oral sex is more imtimate?
Not all do. I think this is also based on individual.
If I were you, I would not start engaging in threesomes with this particular person. -
2023-09-22 at 6:30 PM UTCHe broke up with you because you hooked up with a chick? OOH DO TELL.
The only real reason i considered it is bc i like seeing her feel good, and rather than have this be some thing the gf arranges as a begrudging birthday present or something, i think shed actually be into it. -
2023-09-22 at 6:33 PM UTC
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2023-09-22 at 6:34 PM UTCBecause aforementioned dude brain. Its a compromise.
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2023-09-22 at 6:51 PM UTC
Originally posted by General Butt.Naked He broke up with you because you hooked up with a chick? OOH DO TELL.
Yes, that's really the gist of it. There's not a lot to the story. I think he just liked to be in control and felt like he wasn't.
Originally posted by General Butt.Naked The only real reason i considered it is bc i like seeing her feel good, and rather than have this be some thing the gf arranges as a begrudging birthday present or something, i think shed actually be into it.
I get it and I think that's sweet, but something about the way this reads feels like a test? Maybe I'm reading it wrong when she said if she leaves you for anyone it would be a girl and that felt manipulative. Like if you want to have a threesome fine, let's do that, you don't have to convince me. -
2023-09-22 at 6:52 PM UTC
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2023-09-22 at 6:52 PM UTCOr was it with his permission and he still freaked?
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2023-09-22 at 6:59 PM UTCShe prolly copped consent and then she freaked it (freaked it)
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-09-22 at 7 PM UTC
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2023-09-22 at 7:02 PM UTC
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2023-09-22 at 7:05 PM UTC
Originally posted by Fox I mean it sounds like he probably had other issues, but is not wanting to be in a relationship with someone who cheats “controlling” in your mind? Or are you just saying that because he was also controlling in other ways.
I'm not entirely sure what you are talking about to be honest. Has a similar situation happened to you and you're now making assumptions? -
2023-09-22 at 7:07 PM UTC
Originally posted by frala I'm not entirely sure what you are talking about to be honest. Has a similar situation happened to you and you're now making assumptions?
Can you not follow a conversation? You said you hooked up with a girl, then he broke up with you because he “likes being in control”. My question was is it controlling to not want to be cheated on, and now you all of a sudden don’t know what words mean?
I have no stake in this at all lol I was literally just making conversation -
2023-09-22 at 7:09 PM UTCI can see it’s a sore subject, I’ll just drop it I really do not care
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2023-09-22 at 7:10 PM UTCI don't know what you're talking about. No. You're making assumptions and asking me questions based on that, so.
