So this guy is walking on a quiet country road

1. 2017-05-27 at 7:09 PM UTC

   #1
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   And he comes across an upturned car on the grass. A little girl with no arms and no legs is sitting on the side of the grass, crying. He goes up to her and asks
   
   "What's wrong, little girl?"
   
   The girl looks up and sob "the car crashed, and my mommy and daddy and grandma and grandpa are dead! I don't know is how it could get any worse!"
   
   The man unzips and says "oh honey, today just isn't your day".
2. 2017-05-27 at 8:37 PM UTC

   #2
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Bump
3. 2017-05-27 at 8:42 PM UTC

   #3
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   But I do have some good news. I just switched a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to geico.
4. 2017-05-27 at 9:03 PM UTC

   #4
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by Shitfucker But I do have some good news. I just switched a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to geico.

   
   And I already taught u all how to calculate the 15% (or more) you'll be saving!
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • hydromorphone
5. 2017-05-28 at 4:59 AM UTC

   #5
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Incognigger
6. 2017-05-28 at 5:03 AM UTC

   #6
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   I would have given her a full body massage after getting her high on tek then eat out her ass and hook her up with my ISIS recruits and a suicide vest and send her to do Allahs bidding.
7. 2017-05-28 at 5:34 AM UTC

   #7
   Michael Myers victim of incest [divide your nonresilient tucker]

   Originally posted by Captain Falcon And he comes across an upturned car on the grass. A little girl with no arms and no legs is sitting on the side of the grass, crying. He goes up to her and asks
   
   "What's wrong, little girl?"
   
   The girl looks up and sob "the car crashed, and my mommy and daddy and grandma and grandpa are dead! I don't know is how it could get any worse!"
   
   The man unzips and says "oh honey, today just isn't your day".

   
   So... let me get this straight. She has NO ARMS, NO LEGS, but she has an ass to sit on?! I call bullshit.
8. 2017-05-28 at 1:28 PM UTC

   #8
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by Michael Myers So… let me get this straight. She has NO ARMS, NO LEGS, but she has an ass to sit on?! I call bullshit.

   
   She has little stumps I guess. Or she's managed to inchworm her way to a road railing or smth.
9. 2017-05-28 at 3:11 PM UTC

   #9
   

   infinityshock Black Hole
   jesus christ
10. 2017-05-28 at 3:13 PM UTC

    #10
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by Captain Falcon And I already got taught how to calculate the 15% (or more) you'll be saving!

    
    FTFY