2023-06-28 at 12:23 AM UTC
I did a small line of meth for the first time in weeks cuz my friend had some he brought over and at first I said no because I Feel liek shit,
I hate to say it but I Feel a little better off a small bump, My last drink was after work on Monday at 6-8am, I drank a 4 pack in two hours (pretty normal for me), passed out after puking, feeling dirty as fuck, my belly bouncing with the pulse and contractions feelings.
Now it's been give or take 36 hours, probably only 30 cuz the alcohol has to process through your system. I slept about 14 hours today, off and on between shit posts. Fuck man the vomiting and shakes are what really is getting me. My roommate bless his heart and soul told our friends how I quit alcohol, but when they showed up they brought a bottle of wine and malibu and apologized for not having shitty beer for me.
I'm like What possessed you to bring me hard alcohol knowing I abstain from hard alcohol as it is?
"He said you ran out and felt like shit." never specifying this is intentional lol so now he's drinking malibu rum mixed in white wine out of a coffee cup infront of me.
But like I've always said the actions and behaviors of others can't really be allowed to negatively influence you.
I'm getting wise/old/experienced enough to recognize that if I polish off this weird ass mixer combination in an evening, everhything will go back to the same as it was when I started vomitting regularly a couple weeks ago.
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2023-06-28 at 12:29 AM UTC
i havent been drinking since chinese new year in feb and i feel good.
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2023-06-28 at 12:33 AM UTC
I walked to the corner store and it felt liek I was walking through Hell, got a gatorade they make ones that are super electrolyte-y called FIT Hydration or some shit, they don't have as much sugar and only come in water downed strawberry, lol it also expired 4 days ago but i don't give a fuck.
& a cheap smoothy drink shit that healthy white people are often seen drinking
i also managed to eat and keep down about an hour ago 1 green pepper with a lil ranch & two glasses of ice water.
The tiny amount of meth kinda got me going again, my roommate wants me to go with him to the supermarket and he knows I don't like to give him my cards beacuse he invariably overspends and then says shit to me like "It didn't decline."
Because of his advanced age and inner city living, he don't have a car and so I have to carry all the supermarket groceries. I do this by use of three backpacks 1 on each arm and then I cross strap, then bags in my two hands, i let him carry the bread, and cookies, and anything I don't want crammed into bags and jostled around by a nigga who just wanna walk the 1.2miles home faster.
There's this old lady who brings me over 1 tiny bud in a napkin everytime she comes over, to visit my roommate, he doesn't smoke weed, so it's for me and her, so I have a lot of loyalty to her and her kindness, she also discusses conspiracy theory and believes her and i alone in this ghetto have mk ulta chips.
So I carry her groceries the 1.2 miles there too.
2023-06-28 at 2:47 AM UTC
4.8 miles, half of which like a pack mule. Puked twice on the way there, once on the way back, had a bunch of floating red shit in my puke when I got home/the way back and i was really worried till i remember i was eating straw berries and watermelon gatorade in the store.
Bless that lady's heart she tried to pay me 10$ and said she knows it's the end of the month. I accepted a 5$ pack of cigarettes and asked her to not pay me in the future.
2023-07-01 at 10:05 PM UTC
Gonna walk to the supermarket again today, probably in about a half hour as it's getting darker out at, it is beautiful and pictureesque outside but only if you look directly up at the sky and not in any direction.
I haven't stolen anything the last two times, with those two major losses I'm int he chances to win a minor comeback@@@@, i would've too but i have more honor than that nigga who freed the dollar to the niggas g wash
2023-07-03 at 12:50 AM UTC
Everyone is shocked that I haven't drank for 5 days lol
The worst part of the withdrawal is over, i haven't puked in about two days, I stopped using drugs other than weed and occasionally I do a bump of meth. I stopped the mephedrone and all the other drugs and I feel better. I'm eating two large meals a day and drinking whole milk with peanut butter sandwiches before I go to sleep as a form of dirty bulking.
I feel pretty healthy. I got a little bit of weed left. Most important thing I gotta remember is it's easier to not drink than it is to stop drinking. Occasionally I am desirous to have a drink, especially when I'm really stressed out.
You know what fuck it i'mma go get drunk
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2023-07-03 at 12:53 AM UTC
A lot of people think it's a bummer to have to show up on July 3rd and not have a 4 day weekend. So I just told the new hire, it would really mean a lot to me if he could come cover this shift. I didn't realize that the person he replaced had taken the shift from another co worker who is unable to come in and asked him if he wouldn't mind doing me a favor this early on and coming in, otherwise I Will probably be working 24 hours in a row and I'm not really about that.
100% bullshit, I Just didn't wanna sit there with rockets and ramparts red glare type shit, we had a kid put a firecracker into the after hours deposits like envelop slot we use as a mailbox, it connects to the cube and I didn't realize they could drop bombs in it and it would go through and start going off in thiz metal bin making it a thousand times louder.
The paki owner asked me why I didn't call the cops on them
"some kids playing with fireworks in early July?"
'Today, firework pranks ,Tomorrow armed robbery. Watch"
2023-07-03 at 1:12 AM UTC
I Just woke up bruh, i stayed awake for as long as I could, passed out two or three times for 1-45 minutes, the third time I resigned myself to sleep I woke up to my neighbor trying to beat my door down so he could evade the police, then he wouldn't leave after the police did, preferring to smoke my cigarettes, eat my sour cream and onion dip with funions in the air conditioning over the alternative of cigarette butts, sweating, me never answering my door to him again, and then him ultimately telling me he's going to hit my dog if he keeps biting him and me picking him up and pushing him outside before telling him "I can see why no one wants you."
2023-07-04 at 12:52 AM UTC
A
Tuskegee Airman
[my neurobiological trilled kampala]
and drink every day and it's not a problem for them
