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I've contacted a detective agency

  1. #1
    Kafka sweaty
    To find Sophie. I don't trust anyone else to do this because his enemies would also want to track him down. If you have any information that would be helpful message me it privately, otherwise you'll never find him.
  2. #2
    D-Bonglord Tuskegee Airman
    THE BLACK WINDOW
  3. #3
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Sophie seems like the type that will stay hidden if he wants too

    And thanks now we have some detective perusing the site
  4. #4
    Kafka sweaty
    Originally posted by RIPtotse Sophie seems like the type that will stay hidden if he wants too

    And thanks now we have some detective perusing the site

    I'm not giving them access to the site.
  5. #5
    Incessant African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Kafka To find Sophie. I don't trust anyone else to do this because his enemies would also want to track him down. If you have any information that would be helpful message me it privately, otherwise you'll never find him.

    Lanny can you please ban this ho to protect the rest of our privacy? Like Jesus
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  6. #6
    Pleas e to meet you my name is Richard Tective and ive been assigned to this case. The only way to do this right is to make sure that Ms. [NAME REDACTED]’s bias doesnt rub its crusty taint all over the indisputable 📠 of our case. So im going to ask that you ignore her and forward all pertinent info to my inbox where it will be thoroughly vetted and prizes awarded based on juiciness and specificity.

    Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

    PS: Also i know you likely thought I was that one fat junkie. Just to avoid any confusion- that was simply my undercover identity. Ive been trailing a certain “polish sausage” witha taste for “young buns” for about 15 years now, and i needed to embed myself in fringe internet gamerspeak “hotnigger” communities.

    For the sake of transparency tough, i am in fact severely obese and addicted to gas station heroin but that is entirely coincidental i assure you.

    Your Brother in Christ,

    Richard B. Tective
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  7. #7
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    it bugs me that you went with B instead of D
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  8. #8
    Originally posted by aldra it bugs me that you went with B instead of D

    B is for Ballsë

    Richard “Dick” Ballsê Tective
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  9. #9
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Humphrey B. Bear
  10. #10
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Incessant Lanny can you please ban this ho to protect the rest of our privacy? Like Jesus

    probably just a larp and/or schizophrenia

    can't really see a serious investigator trying to find some guy she's stalking in a different country based on internet talk, schengen or otherwise
  11. #11
    Kafka sweaty
    A lot of things in my life sound crazy but it's all true.

  12. #12
    Meikai Heck This Schlong
    it's not an alibi if you instigate the investigation into your own murders, it's just further cause for suspicion. you get that, right? fuck, man, some serial killers really can't help themselves i guess. always interacting with the police, trying to be helpful to the investigation, all in an effort to live perfectly on that edge of "maximum recognition, but not so much recognition that i get caught". shame.
  13. #13
    Kafka sweaty
    Originally posted by Meikai it's not an alibi if you instigate the investigation into your own murders, it's just further cause for suspicion. you get that, right? fuck, man, some serial killers really can't help themselves i guess. always interacting with the police, trying to be helpful to the investigation, all in an effort to live perfectly on that edge of "maximum recognition, but not so much recognition that i get caught". shame.

    I want royalties if you use me as inspo for a mystery novel.
  14. #14
    Originally posted by Kafka I want royalties if you use me as inspo for a mystery novel.

    I literally know the killer and im already bored.


    What about a team of plucky superheroes with clashing styles from diverse backgrounds who grudgingly band together to do revenge on crime?. THATS a story worth telling and if anyone comes up with something like that, I want my OWN royalties.
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  15. #15
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by General Butt.Naked I literally know the killer and im already bored.


    What about a team of plucky superheroes with clashing styles from diverse backgrounds who grudgingly band together to do revenge on crime?. THATS a story worth telling and if anyone comes up with something like that, I want my OWN royalties.

    sounds like that new Scooby Doo series everyone hates
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  16. #16
    REVENGE SQUADRON 2: HATE BRIGADE : HELLSTORM
  17. #17
    D-Bonglord Tuskegee Airman
    oh man just wait until they start working on the case and have to solve a puzzle in a giant antechamber only to realize the person that hired them is actually the suspect they have been building up to with several clues

    DUN DUN DUN


  18. #18
    Kafka sweaty
    I'm gonna phone the GP today for more meds, can't just keep drinking
  19. #19
    D-Bonglord Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by General Butt.Naked What about a team of plucky superheroes with clashing styles from diverse backgrounds who grudgingly band together to do revenge on crime?. THATS a story worth telling and if anyone comes up with something like that, I want my OWN royalties.

    In 1917, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Moscow underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the Z-Team."

    Originally posted by Banana Muffin Mix I called the Z team it's like the Ateam but russian (cuz they put Z on theyre tanks)


    Colonel Ivan "the terrible" Smyet
    Lieutenant Moscowton "Facepalm" Pripyat
    Comrade. Б
    Captain Vasily "Mad little green" Manne

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  20. #20
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Comrade. Б

    so retarded it made me laugh
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