2023-04-16 at 12:26 AM UTC
Craving hash now bcus it made a cream bun feel like an explosion, all the furniture colours come alive, focusing on every part of a song at the same time.
2023-04-16 at 12:40 AM UTC
Scared of the dreams I'll have tonight because ik they'll lie to me and make me feel less. No coincidence I've been completely fine today, I been having dreams telling me lies about Sophie. Will I even be me tomorrow? Freaked me out I was dreaming bout Daniel like how is that consent if I develop feelings for him as a defence mechanism and wouldn't even be aware of it if I didn't remember my dreams?
2023-04-16 at 12:42 AM UTC
Isn't that the scariest fucking thing my brain tries to make me feel better when I'm asleep and reprogram by giving me cute dreams about Daniel. If I didn't remember my dreams I'd probably think my feelings for him were real. How much of my reality is a fucking lie. Remember your dreams people it's the only way to know what's going on.
2023-04-16 at 12:44 AM UTC
Now I know I'm gonna get bombarded w more lies tonight and soon I won't know who Sophie is.
2023-04-16 at 12:47 AM UTC
After all this time my subconscious was the enemy.
2023-04-16 at 12:48 AM UTC
Srs if I didn't remember my dreams I could have feelings for Daniel rn.
2023-04-16 at 1:03 AM UTC
BTW my DP doesn't represent me I just swiped one of Mik's badges bcus I'm drunk and missed him
2023-04-16 at 5:01 PM UTC
I'm in a lot of trouble because of the grieving, I've fallen behind. Today I feel far away, ig bcus of all the wine and valium. I haven't cried or anything I just spent five hours getting ready like a zombie. I feel like I don't want to take a smart drug to wake up because I might feel pain. Today I don't feel anything but have been taking baby steps to get organised and will listen to hypnosis tonight.
Long story short I'm not present rn which is bad but I don't want to be present because I'm happy here wherever I am.
Really don't want to wake up but if I don't I'll miss deadlines. I think I'll listen to hypnosis for hours tonight.
2023-04-16 at 7:08 PM UTC
Almost forgot I have counselling again tomorrow.