Buying a van to kidnap and disembody hipsters

1. 2015-11-04 at 6:43 PM UTC

   #1
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Ok so I have a few gallons of black paint for the windows and I'm getting a van from a police auction. I just need a good ruse to get hipsters into the van, perhaps fill it with yarn and muffins flavored with pretentious fruits you've never heard of. Any ideas?
2. 2015-11-05 at 12:09 AM UTC

   #2
   

   infinityshock Black Hole
   roofies
3. 2015-11-06 at 7:43 AM UTC

   #3
   

   SBTlauien African Astronaut
   You'll want one of those electric knifes for the disembody. In all of the videos of beheadings that I watch regularly, they really struggle to completely cut the head off with an ordinary knife. A chainsaw would work well but it would be a bit loud.
4. 2015-11-06 at 4:49 PM UTC

   #4
   arthur treacher African Astronaut

   In all of the videos of beheadings that I watch regularly

   
   
   I like when they hack at the spine with the knife to try to bust through it.
   
5. 2015-11-06 at 6:27 PM UTC

   #5
   Psychlonic Yung Blood
   This could be like a pedo van, just write "Free Lattes" on the side.
6. 2015-11-06 at 11:27 PM UTC

   #6
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   I didn't think hipsters were still a think, regardless, I'll come into your van and you can do whatever you want to my bowels.
   
7. 2015-11-08 at 9:49 AM UTC

   #7
   

   Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
   I'm not sure why you want to kill hipsters in particular. They're a fully benign social phenomenon. You're either immature and uncertain of where you fit in your high school's social landscape, or you have a chip on your shoulder. I had a friend who despised hipsters, but if you asked him what group or clique he considered himself belonging to you couldn't get a straight answer. I also knew someone who had a problem with them, and if you asked him what it was he'd tell you about his father who introduced him to Elliot Smith growing up before imitating his suicide.
8. 2015-11-08 at 2:22 PM UTC

   #8
   

   aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
   mobile disco
9. 2015-11-09 at 10:58 PM UTC

   #9
   

   SBTlauien African Astronaut

   I like when they hack at the spine with the knife to try to bust through it.

   
   
   Some just straight up cut it with a knife.
10. 2015-11-12 at 4:08 PM UTC

    #10
    Hewfil1 Houston
    Mnnn, beheading videos. They're my favorite.