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Big drama as chess caught in cheating scandal

  1. #21
    Ghost Black Hole
    Originally posted by mmQ Ok I'm imagining it. Now what?

    now touch yourself

    queen to f6
    OH YEAH
    BISHOP TO XXX69
  2. #22
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Yes, family, YES.

    *imagines all 32 chess pieces being forcefully lodged into a gaping wound in my chest cavity*

    Thank you! I resign!
  3. #23
    Originally posted by mmQ Yes, family, YES.

    *imagines all 32 chess pieces being forcefully lodged into a gaping wound in my chest cavity*

    Thank you! I resign!

    CHECKMATE!
  4. #24
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson CHECKMATE!

    I already resigned! Equivalent of quitting right before you know you're gonna get fired. Haha fuck you you can't fire me bitch! I quit!!
  5. #25
    Ghost Black Hole
    im gonna write an updated version of this with anal morse code

    X Middle School's best hope to break a losing streak in the chess tournament is Checkmatey, a flamboyant rapper who is X's finest chess player. Unfortunately, somebody is out to get him - is it Tyson Pelarez, leader of the Society of the Preservation of Ethics in Chess? Or is it Nelson Kelloch, Checkmatey's biggest rival? Fillmore and Ingrid are on the case - but the clock is ticking down to the championship match and Checkmatey is nowhere to be found...

    Parodied crimes: Attempted murder, kidnapping, gambling, and drinking

  6. #26
    All you need is another person in the room with a laptop with a computerized chess board on it and the helper enters the opponent's moves so the player can use the computerized responses without any further interaction.
  7. #27
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ All you need is another person in the room with a laptop with a computerized chess board on it and the helper enters the opponent's moves so the player can use the computerized responses without any further interaction.

    Lol this is how you cheat from home online. Any high-level tournament isn't allowing people to sit in a crowd with a laptop watching the game. Believe it or not they have security measures to prevent this stuff and everything under the sun has already been tried before.
  8. #28
    Originally posted by mmQ Lol this is how you cheat from home online. Any high-level tournament isn't allowing people to sit in a crowd with a laptop watching the game. Believe it or not they have security measures to prevent this stuff and everything under the sun has already been tried before.

    From the video, it looks like they are in their own personal living room at home.
  9. #29
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ From the video, it looks like they are in their own personal living room at home.

    I thought you meant at an actual in-person tournament.

    Yeah cheating online is certainly way easier especially just in casual play. The big tournaments have anti-cheating detection algorithms and programs that they can use afterward to evaluate positions and compare it to players normal level of skill. It's obviously not fool-proof but again this certainly isn't something that hasn't been thought of before a million times.

    If you really want to know just look it up. It's kind of interesting how they can still even detect cheating at a grandmaster level when most of the players are picking the top recommended moves by the engines on their own, only occasionally picking moves that aren't in the top recommended.
  10. #30
    It looks like the guy used a knight as his opening move and somebody recognized that as an opening move from a specific computerized chess program.
  11. #31
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ From the video, it looks like they are in their own personal living room at home.

    Magnus looks like he's in his bedroom, the cheat looks like he's in a hotel room.

    The bedroom probably smells of cum socks, the hotel room smells of the cleaning solution they wipe all over the place there. They wipe the drinking glasses in hotel rooms with the same cloth they use to wipe the toilets. You think those are washed in a dishwasher in between uses or something? You think they use a different cloth in between each room? Sweet summer child.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  12. #32
    Ghost Black Hole
    Is the anal vibrator allowed if you don't use it to transmit messages?
  13. #33
    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
    Originally posted by Donald Trump Magnus looks like he's in his bedroom, the cheat looks like he's in a hotel room.

    The bedroom probably smells of cum socks, the hotel room smells of the cleaning solution they wipe all over the place there. They wipe the drinking glasses in hotel rooms with the same cloth they use to wipe the toilets. You think those are washed in a dishwasher in between uses or something? You think they use a different cloth in between each room? Sweet summer child.

    sir you just ruined sitting on hotel toilets for the rest of my life

    imagine some piece of shit lesbian wit hthe stench of cunt on her breath putting her big puffy sausage-lips all over the wine glass and getting every last drop out and then consuela comes in and cross contaminates the toiletseat now i have to cover the toilet seat with a special gasket i will make out of the washcloths
  14. #34
    Originally posted by mmQ I already resigned! Equivalent of quitting right before you know you're gonna get fired. Haha fuck you you can't fire me bitch! I quit!!

    I'll put it in writing first.
  15. #35
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    The report, reviewed by The Wall Street Journal, alleges that Niemann likely received illegal assistance in more than 100 online games, as recently as 2020. Those matches included contests in which prize money was on the line. The site uses a variety of cheating-detection tools, including analytics that compare moves to those recommended by chess engines, which are capable of beating even the greatest human players every time.

    The report states that Niemann privately confessed to the allegations, and that he was subsequently banned from the site for a period of time.

    The 72-page report also flagged what it described as irregularities in Niemann’s rise through the elite ranks of competitive, in-person chess. It highlights “many remarkable signals and unusual patterns in Hans’ path as a player.”

    While it says Niemann’s improvement has been “statistically extraordinary.”


    The pair met again in an online event weeks later, and Carlsen quit their game after making just one move. Days later, the world No. 1 publicly confirmed his suspicions of Niemann.

    “I believe that Niemann has cheated more—and more recently—than he has publicly admitted,” Carlsen wrote in his first public statement on the matter on Sept. 26. “His over the board progress has been unusual, and throughout our game in the Sinquefield Cup I had the impression that he wasn’t tense or even fully concentrating on the game in critical positions, while outplaying me as black in a way I think only a handful of players can do.”




    Niemann last month questioned why he was banned from the Chess.com Global Championship, a million-dollar prize event. Shortly thereafter, Rensch wrote a letter to Niemann explaining that “there always remained serious concerns about how rampant your cheating was in prize events” and that there was too much at stake. The letter added that Niemann’s suspicious moves coincided with moments when he had opened up a different screen on his computer—implying that he was consulting a chess engine for the best move.

    “We are prepared to present strong statistical evidence that confirm each of those cases above, as well as clear ‘toggling’ vs ‘non-toggling’ evidence, where you perform much better while toggling to a different screen during your moves,” Rensch wrote.
    https://archive.ph/Sb1vX

    Guy was literally just copying moves from his computer. Article doesn't discuss the remote controlled anal buttplugs.
  16. #36
    If he was smart, he would have used several different chess computers, because each one runs on a slightly different algorithm. It's very easy to reverse-engineer and reconstruct a person's moves, if you can locate the particular chess computer program they used, to establish that ALL the moves entered are based from that one particular algorithm.
  17. #37
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    Really remote playing is bs, all chess games should be like the one in From Russia With Love
  18. #38
    niemamn, what kind of name is that.

    ja. j.
  19. #39
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    And now we have almost the exact equivalent situation from the poker world, lol. Lesser player against a seasoned veteran making a "hero call" with a jack high for 150k. No proof of cheating but accusing them of cheating nonetheless because nothing else makes sense, although to me, it does. Poker is weird and I've played enough to know people make retarded calls all the time for any number of reasons.



    Watching the girl just makes me dislike her but I think she just made a really dumbass call and got lucky, which again, happens all the time ALL THE TIME I SAY.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  20. #40
    Ghost Black Hole
    I have gotten into anal fisting before a match and I haven't lost yet

    WATCH OUT and don't shake my hand before a game
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