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Mike "MyPillow" Lindell Under FBI Investigation

  1. #1
    Speedy Parker Black Hole
    He was obviously involved in a conspiracy to start a MyPillow fight in the Capitol Building on January 6th, 2023 in protest of the continued solitary confinement without bail of the January 6th, 2020 insurrectionist.

    Just wait CNN or MSNBC will tell us all about his diabolical plan to use the MyPillow fight as a distraction while dressed in custom camo MySleepwear and wearing MySlippers to quietly sneak into the White House and let Joe Biden have it in the face with his MyPillow for about 5 minutes. Afterwards he had planned to wrap the corpse in MyPillow Giza Dreams Bed Sheets (king sized) and sneak it out in a laundry truck. Leaving behind a 160 lb 6' potato with no one being the wiser.


  2. #2
    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Code POSO
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. #3
    Ghost Black Hole
    His pillows didn't meet the minimum federal pillow standards and he is being sought for the death sentence
  4. #4
    Speedy Parker Black Hole
    Operation POSO

    Anyone who used that code at the point of purchase was legally bound, in the fine print, to attack the Capitol Building on January 6th, 2023 with the MyPillow they received the discount on.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  5. #5
    AngryOnion Big Wig [the nightly self-effacing broadsheet]
    He say's they took his phone.
    What would be the point in that the NSA and all their friends have all traffic from his phone anyway right?
    So what's the point?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  6. #6
    Speedy Parker Black Hole
    Maybe they a looking for CPP
  7. #7
    Ghost Black Hole
    Originally posted by AngryOnion He say's they took his phone.
    What would be the point in that the NSA and all their friends have all traffic from his phone anyway right?
    So what's the point?

    The cops always take your phone and sometimes you can never get it back.

    Thanks for paying your taxes and thanks for that new phone
  8. #8
    Speedy Parker Black Hole
    Originally posted by Ghost The cops always take your phone and sometimes you can never get it back.

    Thanks for paying your taxes and thanks for that new phone

    I've been arrested and charged more times than I can casually recall for everything thing from misdemeanor 4 to felony 2 and never had my phone taken specifically. Just locked in property with anything else I had with me and returned upon release like everything else.
  9. #9
    Ghost Black Hole
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker I've been arrested and charged more times than I can casually recall for everything thing from misdemeanor 4 to felony 2 and never had my phone taken specifically. Just locked in property with anything else I had with me and returned upon release like everything else.

    Well you didn't have cell phones when you were a teenager and let me tell you PUNK if you are a young punk kid the cops can and will do anything they want and you can't do shit about it

    They will grab your phone and go through your texts looking for mention of drugs, the fuck are you gonna do? Nobody will believe some punk kid that gets in trouble.
  10. #10
    Speedy Parker Black Hole
    Originally posted by Ghost Well you didn't have cell phones when you were a teenager and let me tell you PUNK if you are a young punk kid the cops can and will do anything they want and you can't do shit about it

    They will grab your phone and go through your texts looking for mention of drugs, the fuck are you gonna do? Nobody will believe some punk kid that gets in trouble.

    Not in the US. If your phone is locked they need a warrant and can't force you to unlock with biometrics. But we both know you are talking out of your scrawny little ass.
  11. #11
    Ghost Black Hole
    If it's unlocked they will go through it, they will ask you to unlock it and threaten to arrest you for not doing so.
  12. #12
    Speedy Parker Black Hole
    Originally posted by Ghost If it's unlocked they will go through it, they will ask you to unlock it and threaten to arrest you for not doing so.

    They can threaten all they want. At the end of the day there is no charge for exercising your fourth amendment rights which they can lawfully arrest you for. You really don't know dick about criminal justice or the constitution.
  13. #13
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker Not in the US. If your phone is locked they need a warrant and can't force you to unlock with biometrics. But we both know you are talking out of your scrawny little ass.

    pretty sure people have been charged with obstruction for not giving up encryption keys
  14. #14
    This is what happens when you remove that little tag on the pillow that says please do not remove. The feds show up.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  15. #15
    Speedy Parker Black Hole
    Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ This is what happens when you remove that little tag on the pillow that says please do not remove. The feds show up.

    That is one of the funnier things I've read by you in awhile.
  16. #16
    Ghost Black Hole
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker They can threaten all they want. At the end of the day there is no charge for exercising your fourth amendment rights which they can lawfully arrest you for. You really don't know dick about criminal justice or the constitution.

    you don't know shit about real life, the cops don't give a shit about your faggot paper word laws and will do anything they feel like to anyone they want and there is nothing you can do about it

    The reason they get away with it is because of gullible idiots like you WELL IT'S NEVER HAPENED TO ME SO THAT MUST MEAN IT NEVER HAPPENS!!!
    A COP WOULD NEVER LIE IN COURT!!!

  17. #17
    Speedy Parker Black Hole
    Originally posted by Ghost you don't know shit about real life, the cops don't give a shit about your faggot paper word laws and will do anything they feel like to anyone they want and there is nothing you can do about it

    The reason they get away with it is because of gullible idiots like you WELL IT'S NEVER HAPENED TO ME SO THAT MUST MEAN IT NEVER HAPPENS!!!
    A COP WOULD NEVER LIE IN COURT!!!


    They don't get away with it with me. It's too bad you're such a weak ignorant little cunt.
  18. #18
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker They don't get away with it with me. It's too bad you're such a weak ignorant little cunt.

    is that why they have mugshots of you but not you with theirs.
  19. #19
    Speedy Parker Black Hole
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny is that why they have mugshots of you but not you with theirs.

    megacosm
  20. #20


    is english also not your native language,
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