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Funny, Doug Stories.
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2017-04-22 at 4:42 PM UTCI used to work with this sex offender named Doug. At the time this story takes place I had not worked at this company for long, but it was rumored that Doug was a sex offender. I had never heard him bring it up until one day I gave him a ride to Freddie Meyer's because he needed new socks. According to Doug in order to get pussy from strippers in strip clubs, you gotta be wearing fresh, white socks and a designer cologne. As we drove to to the Freddie Meyer, me and Doug smoke a little meff from a pookie he had in clam shell glasses case and we got to talking. I forget how it came up, but I'm fairly certain no positioning or stringing along by me was required for him to tell me the tale of how he became a sechs offender. I'm sure he had figured I had already heard he was a kiddy diddler and wanted to "clear his name". I'm going to tell the story in the paragraph below from his point of view.
"Man, I totally got set up, I'm pretty sure it was because my brother and this other guy wanted to drive me out of our business so they fucking ruined my life man. Man, his daughter totally came onto me, man. And yeah I know, she was sixteen, man, but she looked and acted WAY older, man, you would have swore she was twenty-five. She was always texting me dirty stuff and asking me to hang out with her. And you know what bro, one day we did. We drove around in my car, and got high, she was like reaching over trying to feel my dick and shit so you know what man, I pulled into the library parking lot and she starts rubbing my knob through my jeans. And she had these gorgeous cans, man, and she pulled em out and I was sucking on them, man."
"How did you get caught?" I ask, now I'm kinda stringing him along a bit to see what other kinda weird shit he would tell me.
"Man, she ended up telling her old man, my former business partner, and they ended up calling the police, man. She showed them text messages and made up a bunch of shit about how I made her do it, man. But I swear dude, she totally grabbed my dick before I ever touched her. And think what you will, man, people say a lot of bad things about me for doing it, but those were the nicest titties I've ever sucked on and you would have sucked them too, man. They were fucking perfect, man. And her pussy was SO wet, man."
That's all of the story I remember verbatim, but some other high points of his story was as part of his sex offender rehabilitation he had to take a lie detector test that was also hooked to his wiener to determine how big of a fucking perv he was and he was ordered by the courts that he wasn't allowed to watch pornography for the course of his treatment. Dude was weird to say the least. -
2017-04-22 at 5:52 PM UTCGood on Bill Krozby for tapping that high-school ass IMO.
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2017-04-22 at 6:20 PM UTCI knew Doug was lying by the second sentence of his story. I don't trust anyone who says "man" that many times.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-22 at 6:21 PM UTC
Originally posted by DropDeadRosa I used to work with this sex offender named Doug. At the time this story takes place I had not worked at this company for long, but it was rumored that Doug was a sex offender. I had never heard him bring it up until one day I gave him a ride to Freddie Meyer's because he needed new socks. According to Doug in order to get pussy from strippers in strip clubs, you gotta be wearing fresh, white socks and a designer cologne. As we drove to to the Freddie Meyer, me and Doug smoke a little meff from a pookie he had in clam shell glasses case and we got to talking. I forget how it came up, but I'm fairly certain no positioning or stringing along by me was required for him to tell me the tale of how he became a sechs offender. I'm sure he had figured I had already heard he was a kiddy diddler and wanted to "clear his name". I'm going to tell the story in the paragraph below from his point of view.
"Man, I totally got set up, I'm pretty sure it was because my brother and this other guy wanted to drive me out of our business so they fucking ruined my life man. Man, his daughter totally came onto me, man. And yeah I know, she was sixteen, man, but she looked and acted WAY older, man, you would have swore she was twenty-five. She was always texting me dirty stuff and asking me to hang out with her. And you know what bro, one day we did. We drove around in my car, and got high, she was like reaching over trying to feel my dick and shit so you know what man, I pulled into the library parking lot and she starts rubbing my knob through my jeans. And she had these gorgeous cans, man, and she pulled em out and I was sucking on them, man."
"How did you get caught?" I ask, now I'm kinda stringing him along a bit to see what other kinda weird shit he would tell me.
"Man, she ended up telling her old man, my former business partner, and they ended up calling the police, man. She showed them text messages and made up a bunch of shit about how I made her do it, man. But I swear dude, she totally grabbed my dick before I ever touched her. And think what you will, man, people say a lot of bad things about me for doing it, but those were the nicest titties I've ever sucked on and you would have sucked them too, man. They were fucking perfect, man. And her pussy was SO wet, man."
That's all of the story I remember verbatim, but some other high points of his story was as part of his sex offender rehabilitation he had to take a lie detector test that was also hooked to his wiener to determine how big of a fucking perv he was and he was ordered by the courts that he wasn't allowed to watch pornography for the course of his treatment. Dude was weird to say the least.
That wouldn't be considered illegal where I live just frowned upon dependent on age. -
2017-04-22 at 7:35 PM UTC
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2017-04-22 at 7:49 PM UTCthe way some of these <18-y/s dress in public should be considered child porn.
there used to be a joke where the street-hookers are losing advertising value because everyone was dressed like they do...but its not a joke anymore, its the general fashion fad nowadays.
