teh retraded thred herppppp slober fuk glum editshin

2017-04-22 at 1:33 AM UTC

#4741

bling bling Dark Matter

Originally posted by SCronaldo_J_Trump How to turn 10 pills into 20 in 5 mins

chop them in half

2017-04-22 at 1:33 AM UTC

#4742

bling bling Dark Matter

Originally posted by SCronaldo_J_Trump How to turn 10 pills into 20 in 5 mins

chop them in half

2017-04-22 at 1:35 AM UTC

#4743

RestStop Space Nigga

Originally posted by Malice I'm going to see a psychiatrist again and try to get Nardil or at least a hefty benzo dose. I'm losing the battle against depression, there's no way I can make it decades like this, continuing to live like this. I've also accepted, that regardless of how I feel, I cannot continue to exist in total isolation. I tried, tried hard to find some way to make it sustainable, but it simply does not work. It runs far to contrary to human biology.

No family, indigent, literally have not had social relationships in 14 years, purposefully isolating and detaching myself, filled with regrets, I really wish I had been diagnosed early and put on medication and depression. I'm about as depressed, isolated, unfulfilled, anxious, and tormented by my thoughts as you can get. This is a really fucked up situation to be in. Realistically, I'm probably pretty much fucked with pretty poor odds of never committing suicide or ever having a particularly good quality of life.

I want to work in an animal sanctuary, just surrounded by non-human friends like me.

The thought of me committing some grand crime to go out with is a complete joke when I'm in this state, completely non-functional. I really shouldn't even joke around about it.

I truly hope you find your passion and it turns your drive on. It doesn't have to be money or woman or fame or whatever else in the big top ten. It would be immeasurably sad to see a mind as bright as yours just waste away.

2017-04-22 at 2:26 AM UTC

#4744

Sophie Pedophile Tech Support

Originally posted by Malice I'm going to see a psychiatrist again and try to get Nardil or at least a hefty benzo dose. I'm losing the battle against depression, there's no way I can make it decades like this, continuing to live like this. I've also accepted, that regardless of how I feel, I cannot continue to exist in total isolation. I tried, tried hard to find some way to make it sustainable, but it simply does not work. It runs far to contrary to human biology.

No family, indigent, literally have not had social relationships in 14 years, purposefully isolating and detaching myself, filled with regrets, I really wish I had been diagnosed early and put on medication and depression. I'm about as depressed, isolated, unfulfilled, anxious, and tormented by my thoughts as you can get. This is a really fucked up situation to be in. Realistically, I'm probably pretty much fucked with pretty poor odds of never committing suicide or ever having a particularly good quality of life.

I want to work in an animal sanctuary, just surrounded by non-human friends like me.

The thought of me committing some grand crime to go out with is a complete joke when I'm in this state, completely non-functional. I really shouldn't even joke around about it.

Glad you came to your senses. I wish you all the best.

2017-04-22 at 2:31 AM UTC

#4745

mmQ Lisa Turtle

Originally posted by Shitfucker moronic question, uh…does water go thru your liver?

Yes. Your liver likes water very much.

2017-04-22 at 2:33 AM UTC

#4746

Sophie Pedophile Tech Support

Originally posted by mmQ Yes. Your liver likes water very much.

I think most of our organs do. Except our lungs.

2017-04-22 at 2:36 AM UTC

#4747

RestStop Space Nigga

If you like wallowing and even intensifying your Melancholy and profound sadness give this a listen.

But SRS it's pretty rad either way.

2017-04-22 at 2:37 AM UTC

#4748

mmQ Lisa Turtle

Originally posted by Sophie I think most of our organs do. Except our lungs.

It would be neat if our lungs produced water on their own, just enough to keep them naturally cool and wash away any resin and build up caused from smoke and other potentially harmful inhalants. Slowly dripping on the interior wall like a slow motion waterfall. Bullshit it's not like that I say. I wonder which animal has the kewlest lungs.

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RestStop

2017-04-22 at 2:40 AM UTC

#4749

Sophie Pedophile Tech Support

Originally posted by mmQ It would be neat if our lungs produced water on their own, just enough to keep them naturally cool and wash away any resin and build up caused from smoke and other potentially harmful inhalants. Slowly dripping on the interior wall like a slow motion waterfall. Bullshit it's not like that I say. I wonder which animal has the kewlest lungs.

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bling bling

2017-04-22 at 2:45 AM UTC

#4750

mmQ Lisa Turtle

Originally posted by Sophie

Both

2017-04-22 at 3:08 AM UTC

#4751

The Self Taught Man Black Hole

Originally posted by Malice I'm going to see a psychiatrist again and try to get Nardil or at least a hefty benzo dose. I'm losing the battle against depression, there's no way I can make it decades like this, continuing to live like this. I've also accepted, that regardless of how I feel, I cannot continue to exist in total isolation. I tried, tried hard to find some way to make it sustainable, but it simply does not work. It runs far to contrary to human biology.

No family, indigent, literally have not had social relationships in 14 years, purposefully isolating and detaching myself, filled with regrets, I really wish I had been diagnosed early and put on medication and depression. I'm about as depressed, isolated, unfulfilled, anxious, and tormented by my thoughts as you can get. This is a really fucked up situation to be in. Realistically, I'm probably pretty much fucked with pretty poor odds of never committing suicide or ever having a particularly good quality of life.

I want to work in an animal sanctuary, just surrounded by non-human friends like me.

The thought of me committing some grand crime to go out with is a complete joke when I'm in this state, completely non-functional. I really shouldn't even joke around about it.

I wonder if this will happen to me. I isolate myself from society but I'm still around family and coworkers.

I went to a psychiatrist when my mental health became worse than I could take but it did more harm than good, but that's because they put me on geodon, the faggots.

Crouton makes it bearable and I've been better since I quit drinking.

Hopefully you have better luck.

2017-04-22 at 3:13 AM UTC

#4752

Malice Naturally Camouflaged

Originally posted by RestStop I truly hope you find your passion and it turns your drive on. It doesn't have to be money or woman or fame or whatever else in the big top ten. It would be immeasurably sad to see a mind as bright as yours just waste away.

I just accepted I was going to die eventually. If I had to identify what led to this, I would simply answer "causality". Everything makes absolute perfect sense, the neurological differences, the interplay between biology and environment, everything that has occurred within my mind, which may be impossible to ever properly convey.

It reminds of a description used to explain suicide. It's like being in a burning building, you jump because you reach a point where the flames and smoke become a worse option than jumping, not primarily because you genuinely believe you have nothing to live for, hearing that you do makes no difference, it's simply perceived as another presentation of being in the bell jar, where communication fails, you feel disconnected, separate and alienated from everyone, like an animal in the zoo behind glass; you can move, but the glass is always there.

How bad do you have to feel for suicide to genuinely seem like the better option, for it to push you over the edge where you overcome the most innate and powerful biological instinct, the instinct to survive and the immense fear of death? This is how people feel before they die. There's a point where depression isn't simply sadness, but you become actively dysphoric. It's relentless, chronic, nothing can cause it to cease. You can reduce it, delay it, but it will always return after a point, quite rapidly, usually when you return to being alone, to isolating yourself. It morphs you're perception of the world so that there is no joy in life, you are incapable of experiencing significant positive emotion (To give you an example, I genuinely have barely laughed in all these years, and it has never been a deep fulfilling laughter. Everything is incredibly shallow at best), the life is drained out of you, critical aspects required to allow you to live as a human being. It becomes a waking nightmare you cannot escape from.

It's really not much different from chronic pain caused by a physical source, and there is quite a bit of similarity in brain activity, except chronic pain doesn't torment you psychologically like this. It doesn't necessarily have a pill or procedure that can remedy it. "It hurts just to be alive" isn't an exaggeration. There's only so much pain and suffering a human being can be expected to endure, and the longer it continues the more it eats away at you. It doesn't make you stronger, make it more endurable because it has occurred before, it wears away at you. Far beyond the point where you can handle it alone.

2017-04-22 at 3:45 AM UTC

#4753

RestStop Space Nigga

^ Some of my greatest achievements and accomplishments were inspired and entirely motivated by mental torment and despair and in other words feelings totally fucked and hopeless. I purposely burned bridges so I couldn't turn around and go back to certain people/places/habits etc.

I don't know how much the whole "well I'm totally fucked anyways so if I fail at this so what? I'm just gonna be in the same place I am now" helps you out here but the only reason I haven't became a serial killer or offed myself ages ago is I WOULD NOT STOP believing that pushing, pushing, pushing would eventually get me something or some place greater than I was in. I'm no social scientist and certainly far from a genius I just hope you take something from what I say and may it do you some good. Good luck bubby.

2017-04-22 at 4:43 AM UTC

#4754

The Self Taught Man Black Hole

2017-04-22 at 5:20 AM UTC

#4755

bling bling Dark Matter

Originally posted by Malice Only if you're anally retentive, clenching your asshole due to current anxiety caused by something in the present or past trauma. Although, the muscle relaxant effect certainly would help.

this

2017-04-22 at 7:27 AM UTC

#4756

Malice Naturally Camouflaged

Learned about an interesting domestic terrorist attack on a power substation near this area: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metcalf_sniper_attack

Multiple snipers, professional job, unsolved. I'd love to know who they were and what their goals were.

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