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Newcomb's Paradox Thread

  1. Meikai Heck This Schlong
    Originally posted by Lanny Lol the entire thought experiment revolves around retrocausality-by-any-other-name. There is nothing here but trying to trick people into thinking causality is being messed with while telling them explicitly itโ€™s not.

    Literally only midwits think this. It's just a hypothetical about accurate predictive models that confuses pseuds. The model predicts it's going to rain today, do you take an umbrella? The model is most likely right, so the humble 1 boxer takes an umbrella. The 2 boxer, in his vainglory, starts screaming that choosing to take an umbrella is bad because the model accurately predicting rain will cause retrocausality. Pathetic.

    2 boxers stay broke.
  2. Lanny Bird of Courage
    "Chaac appears before you and tells he'll make it rain if you don't bring an umbrella but it won't if you bring one. But also your bringing an umbrella or not has no causal impact on it raining. But also it does. But not really because I say so. It's not retrocausality, it's just uhhhhhhhhhhhhh DERP TWOBOXERS POOR SCRUBS. [memelording continues for 12 pages]. Checkmate two boxers!"
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  3. Lanny Bird of Courage
    Let's try to predict the wealth of respondents based on their answer to the poll.

    All one boxers are broke ass scrubs. Like 90% of net worth of respondents is probably accounted for between falcon, jiggs, and me.

    Ergo we can reliably predict that twoboxers have better financial prospects than oneboxers.

    Maybe if you were smart enough to be a twoboxer you too would have a positive balance in your bank account. It's not retrocausality, IT'S JUST LOGIC DURRRRRR
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  4. Lanny Bird of Courage
    WHERE IS YOUR MILLION BUCKS NOW?!?!
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  5. lockedin Tuskegee Airman
    The author of this post has returned to nothingness
  6. Meikai Heck This Schlong
    Originally posted by Lanny Let's try to predict the wealth of respondents based on their answer to the poll.

    All one boxers are broke ass scrubs. Like 90% of net worth of respondents is probably accounted for between falcon, jiggs, and me.

    Ergo we can reliably predict that twoboxers have better financial prospects than oneboxers.

    Maybe if you were smart enough to be a twoboxer you too would have a positive balance in your bank account. It's not retrocausality, IT'S JUST LOGIC DURRRRRR

    I always have a positive balance in my bank account. I merely choose to live by humble means, sensibly. I am not greedy. I do not seek out every individual dollar, and as a result I am rewarded. My existence is free of stress and blessed by Omega with a million dollars. ๐Ÿ˜‡
  7. Meikai Heck This Schlong
    MEANWHILE, the two-boxing savages cannot fathom their misfortune. Obviously they're making the right choice, the kind of miserly choice that dictates their every thought in life: how do I make the most money. The idea that they might be leaving $1000 on the table? Unfathomable. Irreconcilable with their basest nature. They are animals, incapable of wisdom. So they two box, and as an ironic punishment doled out by the fates, will nigh invariably receive the lesser reward.
  8. Meikai Heck This Schlong
    "oMegA oNlY rEwaRDs PeOPle wHo PlAY IrRaTIoNaLly"

    Then make the irrational play. Simple as.
  9. Tyrant African Astronaut
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  10. Meikai Heck This Schlong
    Originally posted by Tyrant

    didnt read
  11. Tyrant African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Meikai didnt read

    Faggot^
  12. Tyrant African Astronaut
    HTS is a mental retard.

    A superintelligence from another galaxy, whom we shall call Omega, comes to Earth and sets about playing a strange little game. In this game, Omega selects a human being, sets down two boxes in front of them, and flies away.

    Box A is transparent and contains a thousand dollars.
    Box B is opaque, and contains either a million dollars, or nothing.

    You can take both boxes, or take only box B.

    And the twist is that Omega has put a million dollars in box B if Omega has predicted that you will take only box B.

    Omega has been correct on each of 100 observed occasions so far - everyone who took both boxes has found box B empty and received only a thousand dollars; everyone who took only box B has found B containing a million dollars. (We assume that box A vanishes in a puff of smoke if you take only box B; no one else can take box A afterward.)

    Before you make your choice, Omega has flown off and moved on to its next game. Box B is already empty or already full.

    Omega drops two boxes on the ground in front of you and flies off.

    It is observable from the setup that no one has ever chosen only box B before because then no one else will ever be able to pick box A afterwards. There have already been previous iterations of the same game therefore it is observable that on all 100 occasions everyone did the smart thing and chose A+B and only ever found $1000 in total (i.e. all there ever was in the boxes to begin with). Furthermore nobody has ever been observed to receive $1 million.

    HTS will be the first loser to ever pick B-only and thus will walk away with nothing, only an empty box. He will realise that he was the first loser to succumb to Omega's subtle psychological domination. He is a loser, a faggot and a rube. He will always lose. He is a loser and everyone else on all 100 other planets are laughing at him for dropping the ball.
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