(Enter) I have discovered the only guaranteed method to woo any woman

1. 2016-07-12 at 8:58 AM UTC

   #1
   Malice Naturally Camouflaged
   after years of reading and contemplation, the summation of my work, akin to the blossoming of the perfect cherry blossom.
   
   Based on genuinely thousands of hours and countless pages of my inquisition into evolutionary theory, biology, and the finest pivotal research, studies, and papers in an attempt to understand all that mankind is; I have come upon this conclusion and method.
   
   Recreate this scene in its entirety.
   
   
2. 2016-07-12 at 10:36 AM UTC

   #2
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Hahahahahaha.
   
   Ready for a second kicker? I have this song on my playlist, and when I listen to it I always imagine I'm Aladdin.
   
   I also imagine I have the powers of Stanley Ipkiss from The Mask, and I can show up at a club and just flaunt all my money and amazing dance moves etc. Ahhh fuck. :(
3. 2016-07-12 at 1:05 PM UTC

   #3
   Malice Naturally Camouflaged
   By Jove! One of my favorite film scenes is from The Mask!
   
   
4. 2016-07-12 at 1:08 PM UTC

   #4
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   That song is also on my playlist, and I regularly fantasize that's me as well.
5. 2016-07-12 at 1:13 PM UTC

   #5
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   
   
   I fucking love this because the comedic character has such fucking power over the typical, gangster bad guy. He totally just fucks with what's meant to be the most threatening, beta personality in humans with such ease.
   
   He's like bugs bunny. I wish I was bugs bunny.
6. 2016-07-12 at 8:35 PM UTC

   #6
   

   Number13 African Astronaut [dispute my snotty-nosed seagull]
   I mean you could just fuck each other as well
7. 2016-07-12 at 9:05 PM UTC

   #7
   

   infinityshock Black Hole
   way too complicated of a way to get pussy.
   
   baseball bat. duct tape.
   
   and do away with all that flowerdy showmanship bullshit
8. 2016-07-12 at 9:59 PM UTC

   #8
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Prince ali had to go pee under a palm tree
9. 2016-07-12 at 10:07 PM UTC

   #9
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Prince ali had to go pee under a palm tree
   
   
   
10. 2016-07-13 at 1:03 AM UTC

    #10
    ArmsMerchant Houston
    I miss those movies where the poor average looking guy gets the hot girl. These day the male lead is either a douchy chad, rich guy, nigger, or a fat ugly jedi nerd.
11. 2016-07-13 at 3:13 PM UTC

    #11
    

    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    this thread has a lot less date rape than I expected
12. 2016-07-13 at 3:25 PM UTC

    #12
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    I liked the world better when you could just trade livestock, like Fiddler on the Roof.
    
13. 2016-07-13 at 4:27 PM UTC

    #13
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    I'm gonna find out if I'm ugly or not by making my tinder profile pic a close up of my face. If I don't get more matches than usual (or worse, no matches at all) then I'll know that I'm ugly.
14. 2016-07-13 at 4:35 PM UTC

    #14
    ArmsMerchant Houston

    I'm gonna find out if I'm ugly or not by making my tinder profile pic a close up of my face. If I don't get more matches than usual (or worse, no matches at all) then I'll know that I'm ugly.

    
    Make sure to use flash so that your stubble shows and looks like a bunch of spider legs coming out of your face. Chicks love that.
15. 2016-07-13 at 5:23 PM UTC

    #15
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    I'm gonna find out if I'm ugly or not by making my tinder profile pic a close up of my face. If I don't get more matches than usual (or worse, no matches at all) then I'll know that I'm ugly.

    
    Did this and got zero response. Than again all I have done is get high and criticize profiles and laugh at them, I never actually message anyone.
    
16. 2016-07-14 at 4:42 AM UTC

    #16
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    I woke up to 1 match. Will see what happens tonight during prime time I guess.
17. 2016-07-14 at 7:43 AM UTC

    #17
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    https://youtu.be/z5ZKkv6w1lA?t=2m2s
18. 2016-07-14 at 12:50 PM UTC

    #18
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    No matches with my face pic. -_-
    
    I'm ugly.
    
    Fuck.
    
    I guess now I have to sit with the ugly kids, in between Sploo and Slag.
    
    
19. 2016-07-14 at 2:02 PM UTC

    #19
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    No matches with my face pic. -_-
    
    I'm ugly.
    
    Fuck.
    
    I guess now I have to sit with the ugly kids, in between Sploo and Slag.
    
    

    The only girls attracted to me are psychos, when a girl approaches me and acts nice towards me my first thought is "Okay, what's wrong with her?"
    
20. 2016-07-14 at 2:06 PM UTC

    #20
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    lol same.
    
    but then it turns out they don't even like me, that's just their personality.