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You´re stupidest Joke
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2021-04-07 at 5:05 AM UTC
Originally posted by Donald Trump Three logicians are sitting in a restaurant. The waitress asks “is everyone having coffee?”
The first logician says, “I don’t know.”
The second logician says, “I don’t know.”
The third logician says, “Yes.”
This joke increased my IQ I can hardly say it's stupid
Two electrons were walking down the street. One said "Oh no, I think I lost an electron."
The other said "are you positive?"
A plane crash is impending. On the way to sure death a priest aspires to molest as many children as possible. End of joke. -
2021-04-07 at 5:08 AM UTCDonald Trump is on his first state visit to Angela Merkel in Berlin...
After a bit of small talk, he asks Merkel, which is the secret of her great success.
Merkel tells him that you only need to have many intelligent people around you.
"How do you know so soon, if someone is intelligent?" Asks Trump.
"Let me demonstrate," Merkel answers.
She reaches for the telephone, calls Wolfgang Schäuble and asks him a question:
"Mr. Schäuble, it's the son of your father, but is not your brother. Who is it?"
Without hesitation, Schäuble answers:
"Very simple, that's me!"
"Look," says Merkel to Trump, "this is how i test the intelligence of the people around me."
Trump flies back to America enthusiastically.
At home, he immediately calls his Vice Pence to ask him the same question:
"It is the son of your father, but is not your brother. Who is it?"
After a long pause, Pence says:
"I have no idea, but I will try to figure out the answer by tomorrow!"
Pence just does not get it and decides to seek advice from former President Obama.
He calls him:
"Mr. Obama - it is the son of your father, but it's not your brother. Who is it?"
Obama fast as a gun:
"Very simple, that's me!"
Happy to have found the answer, Pence calls at Trump and says triumphantly:
"I have the answer, it's Barack Obama!"
Trump yells at him, shocked:
"No, you idiot, it's Wolfgang Schäuble!" -
2021-04-07 at 5:13 AM UTCGrampa: 'So we were flying back from bombing out Berlin, when suddenly we got caught out by the Germans. My Lancaster got surrounded. There was a Fucker on the left, a Fucker on the right, a Fucker above, and a Fucker below. We thought we were screwed.
Mum: 'Father, would you please not use that vocabulary in front of my children!
Me: 'It's all right mum, he's talking about Fokkers. It's a type of plane from Germany.
Grampa: 'No! these Fuckers were Messerchmidts !The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2021-04-07 at 5:13 AM UTC
Originally posted by Donald Trump Donald Trump is on his first state visit to Angela Merkel in Berlin…
After a bit of small talk, he asks Merkel, which is the secret of her great success.
Merkel tells him that you only need to have many intelligent people around you.
"How do you know so soon, if someone is intelligent?" Asks Trump.
"Let me demonstrate," Merkel answers.
She reaches for the telephone, calls Wolfgang Schäuble and asks him a question:
"Mr. Schäuble, it's the son of your father, but is not your brother. Who is it?"
Without hesitation, Schäuble answers:
"Very simple, that's me!"
"Look," says Merkel to Trump, "this is how i test the intelligence of the people around me."
Trump flies back to America enthusiastically.
At home, he immediately calls his Vice Pence to ask him the same question:
"It is the son of your father, but is not your brother. Who is it?"
After a long pause, Pence says:
"I have no idea, but I will try to figure out the answer by tomorrow!"
Pence just does not get it and decides to seek advice from former President Obama.
He calls him:
"Mr. Obama - it is the son of your father, but it's not your brother. Who is it?"
Obama fast as a gun:
"Very simple, that's me!"
Happy to have found the answer, Pence calls at Trump and says triumphantly:
"I have the answer, it's Barack Obama!"
Trump yells at him, shocked:
"No, you idiot, it's Wolfgang Schäuble!"
The Huffington Post Comic section is on a roll! -
2021-04-07 at 5:17 AM UTCA Russian, a Texan, and a New Yorker walk into a restaurant in France
The hostess says “excuse me, due to a Mad Cow Disease there is a shortage of steak so we currently don’t have any.”
The Texan says “What’s a shortage?”
The Russian says “What’s a steak
The New Yorker says “What’s excuse me?” -
2021-04-07 at 5:49 AM UTCTwo psychologists walking along a road find a severely beaten man lying broken and bleeding in the gutter. The first psychologist turns to the other and says, "The man who did this needs our help."
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2021-04-07 at 12:08 PM UTC
Originally posted by Donald Trump In Soviet Russia there was a farmer who managed to save enough money to purchase a car of his own. He made the journey to the local distributor of automobiles and waited his turn in queue.
When he reached the counter the official told him, "Ok, you can come back to pick up your new car," the official ran his finger down a list, "you can pick up your car ten years from tomorrow."
The farmer asked, "Morning or afternoon?" The official replied, "What do you care, it's ten years from now?"
The farmer replied, "Well the plumber is coming in the afternoon."
i dont get it -
2021-04-07 at 12:13 PM UTC
Originally posted by Donald Trump Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?" He said, "Yes."
I said, "Are you a Christian or a jedi?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too!
"Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too!
"What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too!
"Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too!
"Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too!
"Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!
"Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
i dont get this one either but u laughed cuz all the answers were repeated -
2021-04-07 at 12:15 PM UTC
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2021-04-07 at 12:16 PM UTC
Originally posted by Donald Trump "Can I tell you a TCP joke?" "Please tell me a TCP joke." "OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."
…
I'd tell you a UDP joke but you wouldn't get it.
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The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them
Wrong characterization of UDP. It should be: I'll tell you a UDP joke, i don't care if you get it. -
2021-04-07 at 12:16 PM UTCinb4 its a joke soph omg jesus christ
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2021-04-09 at 6:46 AM UTCAn American general, a British general and an Israeli general went to sea. They argue about whose soldiers are the bravest.
American general says:
“My soldiers are the bravest. Just look at this.
He calls one of his soldiers, ties his hands, loads a heavy load on his back, and orders him to circumnavigate the ship twice in the shark-infested waters. The soldier obediently jumps into the water, swims twice and returns.
All three generals give a standing ovation to the brave American soldier.
British general says:
“Oh, my soldiers are even braver. Look here.
He beckons one of the soldiers, ties his arms and legs, loads a heavy load on his back and orders him to circumnavigate the ship twice in the shark-infested waters. The soldier obediently jumps into the water, swims twice and returns.
All three generals give a standing ovation to the brave English soldier.
Israeli general says:
“My soldiers are even braver. See for yourself.
He calls one of the soldiers over to him, binds his arms and legs, loads a heavy load on his back and orders him to circumnavigate the ship twice in the shark-infested waters.
The soldier replies:
- Never! You have tied my arms and legs, put a heavy load on me, and now you want me to swim in waters infested with sharks? I'll die there!
The general then turns to the American and British generals and says:
“No soldier would dare to talk to his general like that. My soldiers are the bravest!
A joke about jеws kvetching.
