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teh retraded thred herppppp slober fuk glum editshin
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2017-03-11 at 11:40 AM UTCzech and zendies
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2017-03-11 at 12:45 PM UTC
Originally posted by Malice I have transcended. I have ascertained the truth about the female gender, the human condition, and I refuse to look away despite searing pain akin to looking into the sun. I refuse to see things other than then they really are, to forget. My goal is to systematically dismantle every aspect of my humanity I consider unnecessary.
I no longer fear how far I may stray from ordinary humanity, except during fleeting moments when feeling of the horrors that existence is capable of containing suddenly consumes me.
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-03-11T09:09:16.870810+00:00
Dude. Really, how fucking hard is your existence? You live off government money, you can buy all the food, drink and drugs you want. You have a roof over your head. And oh noes, it's so fucking horrible to be a human being in 2017. You are living a better than life than 150.000 years of your ancestors did. Hurp durp, existential angst. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, go see a therapist or some shit get a gf, who's into weirdos and i am sure there are enough women in SF that are. And be a little grateful that you're a fucking human being apex predator with a brain the likes of nature knows not. It could have been worse nigger. You could have been born in 1898 and drafted to fight in the trenches in WW1.
I mean Jesus, i love you and all Mal, but you need help.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-03-11 at 1:37 PM UTCE site mxe
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2017-03-11 at 1:50 PM UTCWhy are mirrors in dreams so fucking terrifying
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2017-03-11 at 1:54 PM UTCive looked at myself in the mirror a million times but i still hardly know what i look like. i bet this is a symptom of vampirism.
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2017-03-11 at 1:59 PM UTC
Originally posted by Hash Slinging Slasher Why are mirrors in dreams so fucking terrifying
Mirrors don't exist in my dreamscape. I am not sure why. I had a pretty weird dream last night though, first i got shot to death. In the face but i respawned for some reason. Then i joined a gang in some asian country and had a bunch of guns, shot a person to death and found pre-assembled IV rigs full of fentanyl so i shot myself up with one but i didn't feel high so i thought FUCKING TOLERANCE! Then i proceeded to hoard weapons because i felt it was necessary. -
2017-03-11 at 2:01 PM UTCi've never dreamed of a mirror either. getting high in dreams works about half of the time. when i lucid dream i tend to do a rape
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2017-03-11 at 2:08 PM UTC
Originally posted by puffy butts i've never dreamed of a mirror either. getting high in dreams works about half of the time. when i lucid dream i tend to do a rape
I like to keep my sex and violence separated. This principle carries over in my dreams. And i usually dream about being in mortal danger or killing or some weird limbo parallel universe of infinite darkness.
99% of my dreams are dark in nature. I distinctly remember two dreams that were not though. in one i had met this girl, and she was the most awesome person in the world and i fell pretty much in love with her right there in my dream. Then i woke up, and the weird part was i felt a sense of loss when i did. A longing to be with her again, like i had literally lost a person. It was a happy and sad dream. Then one that was nice was when i dreamed about being with my loli cousin, we didn't fugg or anything we were just cuddling in some meadow under a tree like the most cliché romance movie ever but it was pretty nice.
Post last edited by Sophie at 2017-03-11T14:11:00.522274+00:00 -
2017-03-11 at 2:12 PM UTCmy dreams are nice and generally devoid of any emotional content. i tend to dream in vidya gaems my unconscious mind creates, so the dreams can get very colorful and amusing, other times it's spice addiction simulator v2. sometimes i have dreams about girls i've loved and it makes me want to rekindle things with them or feel the affection again for a few days.
were you trying to slight me with "did you think of that yourself" it made me 0.87% mad
i've had some nightmares that would terrify the antichrist though, mostly in spice withdrawals. the sky raining roaches or being forced by knifepoint to eat holographic worms out of dirt by a psychotic jack-in-the-box clown, or being thrown into a gore dungeon. makes me nauseous just thinking about it.
Post last edited by puffy butts at 2017-03-11T14:14:30.115714+00:00 -
2017-03-11 at 2:30 PM UTC
Originally posted by puffy butts my dreams are nice and generally devoid of any emotional content. i tend to dream in vidya gaems my unconscious mind creates, so the dreams can get very colorful and amusing, other times it's spice addiction simulator v2. sometimes i have dreams about girls i've loved and it makes me want to rekindle things with them or feel the affection again for a few days.
were you trying to slight me with "did you think of that yourself" it made me 0.87% mad
i've had some nightmares that would terrify the antichrist though, mostly in spice withdrawals. the sky raining roaches or being forced by knifepoint to eat holographic worms out of dirt by a psychotic jack-in-the-box clown, or being thrown into a gore dungeon. makes me nauseous just thinking about it.
Post last edited by puffy butts at 2017-03-11T14:14:30.115714+00:00
No i did not mean to patronize you, i genuinely thought it was a nice thing to say. Also withdrawal dreams are the most fucking bizarre you'll ever have. Remember the one i told on Zoklet? When i was in fent w/d? -
2017-03-11 at 2:31 PM UTCno, what happened? i developed post traumatic stress disorder from one of the dreams, intrusive thoughts 24/7, i didn't think it was possible to get ptsd from a dream but it is. i was withdrawing from 2mg xanax, 40mg vyvanse, and 5 grams of k2 a day. i was at the jedi hospital. they tapered me off 2mg in 3 days and treated me like i was lying piece of shit drug seeker every time i asked for medical assistance because i felt like i was about to have seizures. they kept me there as long as they legally could for extra $ and were about to send me out but luckily i was able to outjedi the jedis. that plus the nightmares i had there convinced me they really are an evil as fuck race and would be better off exterminated like rats. no other hospital wouldve treated me anywhere near similarly that wasn't a jedi hospital. i never experienced anything so bad in my life.
Post last edited by puffy butts at 2017-03-11T14:35:07.298207+00:00 -
2017-03-11 at 2:39 PM UTC
Originally posted by puffy butts no, what happened. i developed post traumatic stress disorder from one of them, intrusive thoughts 24/7, i didn't think it was possible to get ptsd from a dream.
The dream falls under the parallel Universe of infinite darkness category.
So here is what happened. As the dream starts, i can hear the rumble of thunder in the background, it's not raining, just constant thunder and lightning. This world is devoid of all color, it is entirely gray. I am standing in a great plain of nothingness, but in the distance there is a city. As i walk over there i begin to realize the city is entirely empty, devoid of life and is falling apart, like some post apocalyptic hellscape. As i continue to walk through this strange world i notice that all thoughout the landscape there are these HUGE black obelisks, they are so tall, they reach the clouds. What's more, they are crumbling at the top. As huge pieces of obelisk break off in what looks like slow motion the pieces don't fall. They gently float and ascend into the clouds out of sight.
It was the most bizarre thing, but the thing is, it wasn't scary or anything. In fact, it felt very serene. -
2017-03-11 at 2:40 PM UTC
Originally posted by puffy butts i've never dreamed of a mirror either. getting high in dreams works about half of the time.
Same, but when it works for me I tend to wake up feeling like I'm in withdrawalwhen i lucid dream i tend to do a rape
I hate how often I find myself doing this
I always wake up feeling like shit because I just wasted a lucid dream -
2017-03-11 at 2:42 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sophie The dream falls under the parallel Universe of infinite darkness category.
So here is what happened. As the dream starts, i can hear the rumble of thunder in the background, it's not raining, just constant thunder and lightning. This world is devoid of all color, it is entirely gray. I am standing in a great plain of nothingness, but in the distance there is a city. As i walk over there i begin to realize the city is entirely empty, devoid of life and is falling apart, like some post apocalyptic hellscape. As i continue to walk through this strange world i notice that all thoughout the landscape there are these HUGE black obelisks, they are so tall, they reach the clouds. What's more, they are crumbling at the top. As huge pieces of obelisk break off in what looks like slow motion the pieces don't fall. They gently float and ascend into the clouds out of sight.
It was the most bizarre thing, but the thing is, it wasn't scary or anything. In fact, it felt very serene.
this makes fentanyl w/d sound not too bad, good for you. i feel like i mustve gotten attacked by demons in my sleep those times. -
2017-03-11 at 2:45 PM UTC
Originally posted by puffy butts this makes fentanyl w/d sound not too bad, good for you. i feel like i mustve gotten attacked by demons in my sleep those times.
Well, this was one dream out of a week or two of actual living hell. So in was a nice respite, i think i needed it at that moment. To get away from it all for a bit. Thanks brain, for the free dissociative dream of infinite but serene darkness. -
2017-03-11 at 2:48 PM UTCi've never been addicted to opis, but aren't wds manageable with the right mix of non opiods? immodium, some bundy, gabapentin, some vodka, supplements. idk. im sure there's some way to stave off the suffering.
if i forced myself into a state of catatonia for a week or so i bet it wouldnt be that bad -
2017-03-11 at 3:08 PM UTC
Originally posted by puffy butts i've never been addicted to opis, but aren't wds manageable with the right mix of non opiods? immodium, some bundy, gabapentin, some vodka, supplements. idk. im sure there's some way to stave off the suffering.
if i forced myself into a state of catatonia for a week or so i bet it wouldnt be that bad
I tried MXE, alcohol, diazepam and immodium. Didn't make it that much better to be frank. Also, you don't want to switch your addiction over to immodium, it's an actual opiate afterall and a long acting one at that. The long acting ones give you other w/d than teh short acting ones. Fent w/d, is intense but short lived, about two weeks then a week of PAWS, if you get addicted to a long working one you get lower grade symptoms but they can last up to three months PAWS not included. -
2017-03-11 at 3:10 PM UTCi didn't know opiates that don't cross the BBB cause the same physical withdrawal symptoms. one day i have to coat that shit in polysorbate 80. shamby says he gets effects when he eats 100 of them at once but even then i assume the mental effects would be placebo. also the asshole must constrict dystonically after that much abuse. lol remember when IWD spent like a year ranting about his methadone withdrawals? good times, i wonder where he is now. greatest poster of all time, making shitposts that long just isn't natural or comprehensible
Post last edited by puffy butts at 2017-03-11T15:12:39.471214+00:00 -
2017-03-11 at 3:24 PM UTC
Originally posted by puffy butts i didn't know opiates that don't cross the BBB cause the same physical withdrawal symptoms. one day i have to coat that shit in polysorbate 80. shamby says he gets effects when he eats 100 of them at once but even then i assume the mental effects would be placebo. also the asshole must constrict dystonically after that much abuse. lol remember when IWD spent like a year ranting about his methadone withdrawals? good times, i wonder where he is now. greatest poster of all time, making shitposts that long just isn't natural or comprehensible
Post last edited by puffy butts at 2017-03-11T15:12:39.471214+00:00
The reason loperamide generally doesn't enter the brain is not because of the BBB, if i recall there is this weird protein mechanism that scoops up loperamide and drops it off outside of your brain. But if you take 100, this mechanism is overwhelmed and can't scoop the loperamide up effectively. Loperamide is like a low grade OTC fentanyl type of high that lasts three days, and i assure you it is not placebo. Really, take like 120mg, it'll be dope. -
2017-03-11 at 3:25 PM UTCi will try this as an experiment. i have 0 opiate tolerance so i hope 120mg isn't an overdose for me
