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Messiah is Coming! Messiah is Coming!

  1. #1
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]


    https://www.breakingisraelnews.com/157090/prominent-rabbi-breaks-silence-messiah-coming-this-year/?fbclid=IwAR3y44YYDRVFeZ6u6megHFrECHhcKj1yblXMwXiGInl9Tzfm31j-Wz2JkgA

    You heard it here first folx.
  2. #2
    AngryOnion Big Wig [the nightly self-effacing broadsheet]
    How the hell did you come across this yid vid??
  3. #3
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    the more I read about it the more j'ewish doctrine just seems to be trickery and trying to outj'ew god
  4. #4
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    I mean specifically, stuff like:

    Not supposed to work on the Shabbat? Get a shabbos-goy to do it for you.
    Not supposed to use electricity on the Shabbat? Doesn't count if it's already on and you don't turn it off, just get some of these bad boys:

    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  5. #5
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    I really wish Jesus would return so I dont have to harbor this tiny little thought that Christianity is legit and I'm going to hell forever. His return would at least be the fucking proof that so many people want.

    Like if it does happen, everyone that's still alive and not automatically "taken into heaven" gets to at least say "oh, shit, ok, it was true" and then change their minds and say sorry and then they get to go to heaven too whenever they die.

    But all of us who never made it that far just have to go to hell. It all makes so much sense. So much sense.
  6. #6
    Speedy Parker Black Hole
    Originally posted by AngryOnion How the hell did you come across this yid vid??

    LOL@ yid vid
  7. #7
    Originally posted by mmQ I really wish Jesus would return

    He wont. He knows no one would believe him even if he performed miracles. You'd have people saying he was the next David Blaine.

    It's a bit like King Arthur, the once and future king coming back to save England, people would just laugh at him and think he was a nut.
  8. #8
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson He wont. He knows no one would believe him even if he performed miracles. You'd have people saying he was the next David Blaine.

    It's a bit like King Arthur, the once and future king coming back to save England, people would just laugh at him and think he was a nut.

    Well I mean if all the plagues and locusts and raining blood accompanied him, as well as a few billion people just disappearing, it would be a little more believable than some "David Blaine shit" I'd say.
  9. #9
    Originally posted by mmQ Well I mean if all the plagues and locusts and raining blood accompanied him, as well as a few billion people just disappearing, it would be a little more believable than some "David Blaine shit" I'd say.

    Not really...if the plagues and locusts came I think we are a little more educated these days to understand those are natural events...plus there would be several thousand "Jesus's" show up claiming to be him in such an event...which one do you pick??

    Lots of social media crap now saying it's the end times because of covid (plague) and the locusts in Africa...dumb.

    Anyway, Jesus didn't do any of that, he just turned water into wine and fed everyone fish and loaves..the fat bastards will love that.
  10. #10
    I was taunting a religious nut yesterday on an unnamed social platform where he was talking about Jesus turning the tables over in the temple and that money doesn't solve any problems...I said "Um money solves a lot of problems"

    He told me to say it to god on judgement day...and then followed up with "if you want to make something of it come to Hawaii and I'll kick your ass".

    Very Christian.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  11. #11
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Like you said I would pick the one that could turn water into wine. But I mean I wouldnt have to pick a Jesus anyway. I wouldnt need to physically know which Jesus is the right one. I would just repent and change my beliefs. The billions of people disappearing isnt as natural as a bunch of earthquakes so that would be the dead giveaway.
  12. #12
    Originally posted by mmQ Like you said I would pick the one that could turn water into wine. But I mean I wouldnt have to pick a Jesus anyway. I wouldnt need to physically know which Jesus is the right one. I would just repent and change my beliefs. The billions of people disappearing isnt as natural as a bunch of earthquakes so that would be the dead giveaway.

    Then behold for I return to you now at the turning of the tide. Drink deeply my son of the kool aid.
  13. #13
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Then behold for I return to you now at the turning of the tide. Drink deeply my son of the kool aid.

    I only drink shallowly.
  14. #14
    Originally posted by mmQ I only drink shallowly.

    Do hast thou god commands thee or boil forever in molten cheese.
  15. #15
    Originally posted by mmQ I only drink shallowly.

    Small sips are appreciated bigly. signed sincerely ,

    You're tumtum
  16. #16
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Do hast thou god commands thee or boil forever in molten cheese.

    *knocks cup off of table*
  17. #17
    And god said unto MMQ "You're going to hell bro"
  18. #18
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson And god said unto MMQ "You're going to hell bro"

    And mmQ said unto god, "I'm already there, BRO."
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