2017-02-25 at 5:12 PM UTC
if I wanted to kill myself, I'd jump off your ego and land on your iq
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2017-02-26 at 1:38 PM UTC
Why did all the kids at Sandy Hook fail their classes?
The walls had more brains than they did
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2017-02-26 at 1:48 PM UTC
What's better than winning silver in the special olympics?
Winning gold in the special olympics.
What's better than winning gold in the special olympics?
Not being retarded
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2017-02-26 at 1:59 PM UTC
a frog goes into a bank and hops over to the teller. He notices her name tag, which say "Patricia Whack".
He says "Miss Whack, I want a $30,000 loan to take a vacation. "
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief ans says "Um, sure... uh, what's your name... sir?"
"Kermit Jagger" the frog says"My dad's Mick."
Patty explains that she'll need something from him as collateral, and the frog produces a small, bright pink porcelain elephant and hands it her.
Confused, she says she has to consult with her boss, and goes in the back. She finds the manager and she's like "Bob, you won't believe me but there's a frog out there, called Kermit Jagger. He wants to borrow $30,000 and he wants to use this as collateral", showing him the pink elephant, "I mean what the hell is this?"
The bank manager looks at her and says "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone."
2017-02-26 at 2:05 PM UTC
What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall
2017-02-26 at 2:11 PM UTC
Who is this Rorschach guy and why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2017-02-26 at 2:12 PM UTC
Scared man, hungry man, Latvian man walk into a bar.
Is same man.
Bar is gulag.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2017-02-26 at 2:18 PM UTC
Yo momma's so classless, she could be a Marxist Utopia.
2017-02-26 at 2:19 PM UTC
Know why Polish airlines only fill half of an airplane for each flight?
Poles on the right half of the plane are unstable.
2017-02-26 at 2:22 PM UTC
So I was going down on my grandma the other night, and I tasted horse semen.
I stopped for a second and thought to myself: is this how she died?
