2020-05-20 at 3:27 AM UTC
Do it in black and white. Should be a lot of close up shots of your face looking sweaty and slack jawed and just ground down by the weiht of the world.Going through the pantry and bare cupboard. Close up on a can of “cat tuna”. Sitting in frontof bill oreilly with your tv tray, you eat the cat tuna with beans on a plate. You visibly begin to dry heave. An answering machine message from your neighbor says you need to move your car for street sweeping, and that it smells like a raccoon crawled in an died in it. You light a few candles, put on some hank williams, and then drink 151 in the bath in your underwear till you shit yourself. Cut to you waking up in the bath, stewing in shit. Under your breath you say GODDAMNIT NOT AGAIN. You begin to sob unconteollably.
*curb your enthusiasm song*
2020-05-20 at 4:22 AM UTC
Instead of O'Rielly do Alex Jones.
2020-05-20 at 4:42 AM UTC
One thanks and I'll give you Caspers phone number.
We doing it big.
2020-05-20 at 5:33 AM UTC
casting call:
we need a woman to record like 20 seconds.
2020-05-20 at 6:56 AM UTC
Alright. I need phone calls of people leaving voicemails breaking up with me for a funny video idea. You need to end it with, "And where's my fucking cat?!"
I'm willing to give out my number for this idea.
MexicanMasterRace, you got me right?
2020-05-20 at 7:02 AM UTC
§m£ÂgØL will definitely do it. Whether his acting chops are up to par remains to be seen.
lol. Im pretty happy with the first one tho. Thats great.
2020-05-20 at 7:45 AM UTC
Where's my FUCKING CAT!!!!!!!
Goddam I'm going to run that in the ground in the video.
2020-05-20 at 7:56 AM UTC
I always wanted to hone my craft as a lesbian
2020-05-20 at 8:27 AM UTC
Where's my fucking cat?
Oh man I'm dying. All you other losers will get it eventually.
2020-05-20 at 8:56 AM UTC
should have voicemail say “next message....today....at....9:32...PM”
and its just the same dude
“LOSER YOU MOTHERFUCKING LOSER I HOPE YOU-“
“deleted”
2020-05-20 at 10:34 PM UTC
So I was getting footage on the streets. I would go up to someone in their yard and ask to help take a 30 second video. Mostly old white dudes taking care of their lawn. Out of meybe 12 people only one dude said yes. But he had no comedic timing.
I saw two teenage girls climbing out of a window and they agreed to help. Then their mom came out and I'm pretty sure she called the cops on me. I mean how would you feel to find your daughters filming a shirtless, shoeless fat guy sprawled out in your yard with a half gallon of vodka and your daughter is kicking him as he wakes up and murmers, "Why won't you take me back?"
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