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Buying my first house?

  1. #21
    I will kiss shell in the lip under that roof. OURRR HOUSE , IN THE CITY I WILL KISS , SHELLS LIP
  2. #22
    rabbitweed African Astronaut
    Originally posted by I Live In Your Crawlspace Secretly4 I will kiss shell in the lip under that roof. OURRR HOUSE , IN THE CITY I WILL KISS , SHELLS LIP

    Shelly's a fine girl, what a good wife she would be, but my love and my lady is the sea.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. #23
    Originally posted by rabbitweed Shelly's a fine girl, what a good wife she would be, but my love and my lady is the sea.



    Theres a dock on a western bay where I kiss shells lip all day AND I SAY CHELLY , such a fine lip. Theres a plastics factory on a western bay fona makes little trinkets for pay AND I KISS CHELLY on her western lip amd we drink BRANDY and watch the tide rollll in and fona makes PLASTOX .. THEY TASTE JUST LIKE CANDY. SO DANCE WITH ME .. JUST LIKE CANDY *juba jabba juba jabba*
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  4. #24
    Hang on a need to call a plumber. * hey that thing you put in 9 years is ducked up is THAT STILL UNDER WARRANTY RIGHT!?* I NEED PLUMMER-MAN
  5. #25
    stl1 Cum Lickin' Fagit
    Watch out for those plumbers.

    They're pretty punny guys!



    We repair what your husband fixed

    One of the cliché go-to anecdotes is that husbands are a bit hard-headed and will try to fix things that are well beyond their scope. And when that happens, you need professionals in your corner to make sure that the job gets done correctly.

    Though we all mean well with our do-it-yourself repairs, sometimes things will go awry. It happens to the best of us and creates a good laugh that we can all share.

    A good flush beats a full house

    This is the puniest pun that that ever punned. The flush plays on the flushing of a toilet as well as a flush in poker where the player gets five cards of the same suit. The full house plays on your home being flooded by a clogged toilet as well as a full house in poker which is three of one card with two of another.

    Puns are always hilarious and this one delivers with the puns to maximum effect.

    Don’t sleep with a drip, call your plumber

    Poor husbands out there take a lot of flack, it seems. This one is yet another play on words: husbands who aren’t the best can be called a drip and the drip also refers to potential leaks that can occur with your plumbing.

    The message is right on, though: whenever you have a leak or drip, make sure that you call in your favorite plumber. They should get the job done pretty quickly and make sure you can go back to having normal plumbing.

    We’re #1 in the #2 business

    Oh boy, this one seems pretty self-explanatory. When referencing the #2, that refers to…well, you know. It isn’t the prettiest thing to be the best at, but it is something of a necessity. Don’t deal with any #2 if you don’t have to; let the best plumbers in your area make sure that these pesky problems are dealt with in short order.

    Leave the #1’s and #2’s to those professionals instead of dealing with those nasty messes yourself.

    Professional, affordable and we always leave the seat down

    There has been a battle raging between men and women for a lifetime and that is whether or not the seat should be left down. Women everywhere will profess that it should be left down so that they can sit down safely in the middle of the night. Men will argue that women shouldn’t just go around blindly when it comes to toilet activity.

    This discussion will rage on forever likely, but you can have a laugh when your favorite plumber makes light of it. But maybe leave the seat down so your wife doesn’t get mad.

    Call us when you’re backed up

    Man, the puns just reign supreme, don’t they? One of the biggest issues with plumbing is that they are clogged or “backed up”. In this instance, you likely need a plumber to come in and clear out that clog for you. It’s a nasty mess, but it is something that a qualified plumber can definitely handle.

    Being backed up also means that you are having some gastro difficulty. You might have some stomach aches and cramps and can have difficulty “going”; hence being “backed up”. Like I said, puns are a big thing in this world.

    Got a leak, we’ll take a peek

    If it isn’t a pun it’s a rhyme. Rhymes can be something that stick in your head quite easily, hence the reason that there are some slogans that rhyme. This is one of those cases that refers to common household plumbing leaks. It is important not to let them go unattended because they can have serious repercussions.

    Call in your favorite plumber the minute you notice a leak to prevent bigger issues from arising and you will be glad that you took the preventative measures to keep your house protected.

    Plumbers do it at the crack of dawn

    Another one of those weird sayings that just kind of became associated with plumbers. This also plays on the old “plumber’s crack” which has been associated with plumbers who probably need a belt or to at least pull their pants up.

    “Plumber’s crack” has been the name associated to any time when someone’s pants are too low and you can see far too much of their rear end. Still, it’s a funny pun that will give you a chuckle and definitely harkens to plumbers everywhere. Making potential customers laugh is a good start when they have a plumbing difficulty.

    We’re plumb crazy

    Let’s put it this way: you’d be hard-pressed to find a plumbing company that doesn’t make some sort of plumbing pun. It is just the nature of the business and this one is no different. Obviously, it takes the word plumbing and ties it into a funny saying.

    And the thing is, it’s probably not wrong. You have to be a little crazy to want to deal with some of the nasty grossness that comes with plumbing. Getting your hands dirty and disgusting is a way of life that you have to come to accept.

    24/7 plumbing, we show up

    This is one of those sayings that seems to get a better reception in the plumbing world itself as it is not one of your traditional puns and it doesn’t quite make everyone laugh. Still, it is one of those sayings that definitely makes you think and draws the attention of the audience to that company.

    Not all plumbing slogans or sayings have to be funny; the goal is to illustrate how dependable and reliable that company is and this one does that in spades.

    All cisterns go

    What do you know, it’s another pun! Cisterns are tied into the plumbing world and it is a play on the old phrase “all systems go” which means that everything is set to go. Man, the plumbing world loves itself some puns, doesn’t it?

    Still, it’s another funny pun that should at least grab the attention of the audience for long enough to get a bit of a laugh and leave the audience wondering a little bit more about the company in question. For that reason, it does the job it is meant to do and keeps the attention on that company for at least a few moments.

    The best place to take your leaks

    When all is said and done, you can bet on at least 15 of these sayings being puns because, as stated, the plumbing world absolutely loves its puns. This one is pretty self-explanatory: “taking a leak” means relieving yourself. Boom, that’s the joke. Not exactly the most complicated thing in the world.

    This is one of those ones that will make you chuckle a bit and appreciate that at least these companies are trying to make what is a not so fun thing a little bit more fun.

    iPlumb

    Apple is one of the most popular and recognizable companies on the planet thanks to its iPhone, iPad, and iTunes products and programs. For this reason, that makes them ripe for parody and this one does just that by tying plumbing in with the popular company.

    It isn’t the most creative or original idea in the world, but it is certainly something that will make your audience stop, think, and at least laugh a little bit. That’s all you can really ask for out of your slogan, isn’t it?

    Plumbers have pipe dreams

    Oh boy, another pun! Pipe dreams are the kind of dreams that one would have that are way off in the future and only vaguely possible. They are huge dreams that likely won’t happen but still exist in one way or another. Everyone has pipe dreams of their own.

    On the same side of that coin, plumbers deal with pipes on a daily basis, hence “pipe dreams”. Another play on words for another plumbing slogan. It’s almost like all these companies get together and decide that puns are the only way to go for marketing purposes. There are a lot worse ones out there, I suppose.

    We won’t drain your checkbook

    Did I say that 15 of them would be puns? I meant like 18 or 19 of them. Puns are the lifeblood of the plumbing marketing game. Puns make you laugh, make you think of a variety of different things that are both related and unrelated to the plumbing industry.

    This one, though, actually does appeal to customers in that it makes you realize that you don’t have to go for broke getting your plumbing taken care of. That’s a huge worry for customers and knowing that you won’t have to break the bank is a pretty big thing.

    Our reputation has leaked out

    What else is there to say at this point? Puns, puns everywhere! They are popular for a reason but they all kind of hit the same notes. Still, they are disarming and make for a fun time so they are what they are.

    If it weren’t for us, you’d have no place to go

    Funny as this one is, it’s the truth. Without proper plumbing, you really would have no place to go and that could turn into an ugly mess in a hurry. With the right plumbers, you can make sure that your plumbing is all working correctly so that you don’t have to worry about where to go or any unsightly messes that could cause some havoc in your life. This is one of the better sayings that there are, though it is a part of the flurry of puns that we have seen.

    If water runs through it, we do it

    This is pretty similar to the previous one in that it plays on words (like just about any other saying on this list, actually). And water runs through all of your plumbing fixtures, meaning that the company who made up the slogan can handle all of your plumbing needs.

    That’s a somewhat subtle yet funny way to get across to your customers that you can do anything that they need and keep a light heart about it.

    Call the best, flush the rest

    Another pun, anyone? This is a great way to say that you are the best and to forget everyone else. That’s the idea, too: you want to present that you are the best in the business and that no one else can match up to what you can offer.

    While it isn’t the best idea to insult the competition, standing out is difficult and you should try to do so anyway that you can.

    Sh*t goes downhill and payday is Friday

    This is more of an insider joke and less of a marketing term for plumbing. It basically means that things will be rough and all flow downhill, but that payday comes the same time every week. It is more for plumbers and their apprentices to help get through a particularly rough week than anything else, but it is still one of those funny sayings that is worth noting and is still highly relevant in the industry.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  6. #26
    😂
    😂
    😂wtf!!?!
  7. #27
    AngryIVer African Astronaut [my jade controlled morrigan]
    So you buy that house yet, OP?
  8. #28
    Cheap houses under 100k are like $300 mortgage payments which is a lot less than rent
  9. #29
    Octavian motherfucker
    Originally posted by POLECAT 3.5 ounces is a $150.00 fine,, thats a 40 year sentence in many other states..

    I wasnt checking the facts from my previous post,, just going on hearsay from 5 years ago when I lived in Indiana

    40 years!

    America sucks
  10. #30
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    Im not buying that fire damaged house.
    I would if i wanted to actually live in that hood but its a shit hood and i want better.
  11. #31
    whats wrong with fire
  12. #32
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    If you pay 71k for that dump your are dumber than I thought possible. That house isn't worth 20k
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