2020-03-17 at 1:22 AM UTC
Right before I was moving to Montana in 2006 my dad said I couldn't take my car with me. It was a 68 camaro and was a huge pile of shit. For a couple months drive wouldn't work so I was rocking it around in 2nd gear.
Right before I made my decision of what I was going to do to get rid of it Poast and I spray painted a bunch of dumb ghetto shit all over it. I think we had 'GNAR KILL' on one side. I'm sure there was a boognish somewhere. I wasn't really taking the car into town so I stopped paying insurance. The car looked ghetto as fuck with all the tags and driving from poasts house one day a cop car was coming down the hill. I just kinda got real close to the car in front of me and to the side and hoped for the best. Nothing happened so I was good.
When I decided to get rid of my car, I decided to just mob the shit out of it. There was a place called school valley that was maybe a mile long road that used to be a kind of a valley. No one used it because it was gated on both sides. I just drove around it. My brother and his red neck friends were there because we could relate to destruction. One of the first things we did was break both front and back windows. I was mobbing around and thought it'd be funny if I turn on the wipers with no window. It started smacking him in the face. I laughed and turned them off.
I made it to the bottom of the road, right behind an elementary school and someone said, "There's no way you can make it up that hill." I learned from WifeDead don't tell people that because I gunned it and actually made it up. This was a place people fucked around on dirt bikes. So me getting it in a shitty camaro is pretty funny.
We mobbed around all that day and called it quits once I got it stuck down a hill in a bunch of bushes. In the video that is lost to time, my brother is in the car just revving the shit out of it until it's smoking and the last shot from that day is us walking away filming a bunch of smoke going in the air.
We didn't catch the place on fire and show up the next day. My brother had one of his buddies bring a truck and pull it out of the bushes. Round two. I blew out a tire and try to hit the hill again that the dirt bikers hit but couldn't make it with less traction. I was going back and forth all over this gravel road and everyones having a blast. We forgot to take the rocks out we used to blast out the windows and one time when I went into the ditch it almost someone in the head.
A buddy Poast and I tried to manipulate showed up with a donut wheel on a dirt bike and we fixed the tire. Barely. Chaos and mayhem and we vowed to come back the next day.
The next day we show up and someone tried to hot wire the car. The place where the key went in was fukt. The kid who brought the spare tire said he could hot wire it. I doubted it because I thought he was stupid. Turns out he could. One last day of mobbing.
The next day we wanted to see it explode. I had stolen a small piece of pipe that had a place to screw something on both ends and two end caps from a hardware store. I put a hole in it and went to my brothers house to fill it with gun powder. The powder went everywhere including the threads. I cleaned the threads as best I could but when screwing the second cap on I wondered if hard compression and friction would blow it up. This was the biggest bomb we'd ever made.
So we go to the car, I shove the bomb in the gas tank. It doesn't fit but I'm hoping for the best. It blows off, loud as fuck but there's no real damage. Should've screwed the other cap on and used a flask cylinder like we always did when making bombs.
I'm riding my bike to work one day, I was 17, and I brought a two lb sledge hammer with me and swing by the car and just start pounding it. Making it look as bad as I could. No reason. Just thought it was funny. Turned out to be more work than I thought and gave up.
Last part. One night I was biking to work late at night. Decided I wanted to watch a motor blow up. I swing by the car, get it running and find a branch just long enough to stick between the seat and the gas pedal. The engine is going and going. I'm watching waiting for something to happen. Nothing happens so I check out the bottom of the car. The engine casing it red hot and it started a fire under the car. I was carrying water with me so I remove the stick, extinguish the flames that would've surely gotten bigger and called it quits on the car.
The kid who brought a spare on a dirt bike helped me remove all the embedded metal tags that would acknowledge that I was the last owner of the car earlier and I never heard anything about leaving a beat up, tagged up, blown up hunk of junk in the woods.
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2020-03-17 at 1:28 AM UTC
Page 44?! We're almost there guys!
2020-03-17 at 1:33 AM UTC
Graffiti is not funny its degenerate
2020-03-17 at 2:47 AM UTC
STER0S
Space Nigga
[the disappointingly unanticipated slab]
page 18 for me.
i have my thread-per-page thingy set to max
Originally posted by STER0S
page 18 for me.
i have my thread-per-page thingy set to max
You have to admit this thread is getting really long though.
Dar I say.... The LONGEST THREAD ON THE INTERNET?!!!!
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2020-03-17 at 3:40 AM UTC
STER0S
Space Nigga
[the disappointingly unanticipated slab]
you will make history, my friend... and the guiness book of world records will recognize it!
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2020-03-17 at 8:56 PM UTC
One time a chick I was really into was moving away. I was a pussy who never made a real move and I'm glad of that now. But back then we were at a party and she was all sad and emotional of her upcoming life change and she let me hold her in the bath tub as people came in and tried to piss. The shower curtain was up so it wasn't as ghetto as it could be.
I go to drive her home and I suggest we go up to her room. She says no and she wants to stay with me in the car. I forget the details but eventually I'm eating her out. For like half an hour. At one point I tried to stick my dick in her but there just wasn't enough room in the car so I just kept eating her out. We eventually fell asleep in her bed when she realized I wasn't making a serious move and I wake up. I tell her, "Man. I was wasted last night." Like a fucking idiot. She's all like, 'You were drunk last night?' I'm a fucking retard and didn't understand the nuances of women yet and said yeah.
It never went farther than that but my car smelled of her pussy for over a week. Not a bad smell. It just smelled like her pussy.
I was chasing that girl when I got with Ho-Zilla. One night at a party at the studio, Ho-Zilla climbed on top of me me and we were kinda making out. This made the other girl cry. Fuck her I thought. She had her chance. I'm walking to the bathroom and see her crying and people consoling her and I had a gummy worm in hand. I ask her, while she's trying to hold back tears, "Do you believe in me?" She nods her head and throw the gummi worm high in the air and catch it in my mouth. Throw my fists up and walk away to piss. She just kept crying. Fucking brutal.
She had her chance but never acted on it then regretted it. I was so out of it I didn't realize the ramifications of what I did that night until way later.
2020-03-17 at 11:33 PM UTC
Kinda looks like a budget Jessica Alba
2020-03-18 at 1:56 AM UTC
hey I have a story but I'm going to need some thanks
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2020-03-19 at 5:10 AM UTC
I saw the guy born without legs again today. Really cool dude so I asked him what's up. He said fine and asked me how I've been doing. I replied, "Well my life sucks."
Then this guy three feet below my head level, rolling around on a skateboard says something along the lines of, "That sounds horrible man. Tell me about it."
I forget the actual exchange but I caught on that he was making fun of me and we both laughed. That dude is super cool.
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