First confirmed case of corona virus in Fargo ND.

1. 2020-03-04 at 11:56 PM UTC

   #1
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   It's me. I have it. I blew my nose a few times today and I've pooped once more than usual. I'm dying and I'm taking everyone down with me.
   
   Thank you.
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • The Self Taught Man
2. 2020-03-05 at 12:37 AM UTC

   #2
   Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged
   How do you think you got it? Did you order Chinese or drink a beer?
3. 2020-03-05 at 12:45 AM UTC

   #3
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle

   Originally posted by Erekshun How do you think you got it? Did you order Chinese or drink a beer?

   
   That's funny because I did literally go to a chinese buffet on Monday night. New owners and set up from the last time i was there too. So yeah that must have been it. I ate like 4 plates of chicken fried rice with black pepper chicken even though I was full after 2 plates. Its 15 dollars even so I had to painfully make sure I got my money's worth. And now that I got the virus oh boy did I get my money's worth, AND MORE!
   
   WOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!
4. 2020-03-05 at 12:49 AM UTC

   #4
   Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged
   I love black pepper chicken! I don't want corona but they don't sell that anyway.
5. 2020-03-05 at 12:55 AM UTC

   #5
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle

   Originally posted by Erekshun I love black pepper chicken! I don't want corona but they don't sell that anyway.

   
   Yeah they fucking do it right too. The holding trays were huge and the chicken was all really fresh and crispy. I fucking love it. Plus they have the ice cream machine which I like to partake in.
   
   I'm not certain but I think I might've gotten the virus from the bottle of sauce that I drizzled on my food every time. I thought it was sriracha but when I was leaving I looked closer at the bottle and it said "corona virus sauce" on it so that might be what did it.
6. 2020-03-05 at 1:28 AM UTC

   #6
   Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged
   As long as you aren't elderly and already sick, you should get over it.
7. 2020-03-05 at 1:31 AM UTC

   #7
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle

   Originally posted by deephardwet as long as youre going down, open wide…

   
   Faggot.
8. 2020-03-05 at 1:32 AM UTC

   #8
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle

   Originally posted by Erekshun As long as you aren't elderly and already sick, you should get over it.

   
   Yeah I'm already over it. Just wanted to announce that I had it and... now I dont.
9. 2020-03-05 at 1:35 AM UTC

   #9
   Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged
   I may have had it and didn't know it. I mean I had black pepper chicken from the Chinese place and was constantly wiping the sniffles from my nose, weird.
10. 2020-03-05 at 1:36 AM UTC

    #10
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by Erekshun I may have had it and didn't know it. I mean I had black pepper chicken from the Chinese place and was constantly wiping the sniffles from my nose, weird.

    
    But did you poop more times than normal? That's the main indicator.
11. 2020-03-05 at 2:19 AM UTC

    #11
    Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged

    Originally posted by mmQ But did you poop more times than normal? That's the main indicator.

    
    Hard to tell, I shit more than most people anyway.
12. 2020-03-05 at 2:40 AM UTC

    #12
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by kobe bryant raped your mom in your case its due to the excess of testicular depositories from the excess of male boyfriends that you allow unfettered access to your tailpipe.
    
    this is why you have a beer belly. or in more accurate terms…'nigger-ballsack-batter belly'

    
    Try harder.
13. 2020-03-05 at 2:40 AM UTC

    #13
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by Erekshun Hard to tell, I shit more than most people anyway.

    
    I of course mean in relation to your normal shit regiment.
14. 2020-03-05 at 2:50 AM UTC

    #14
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by kobe bryant raped your mom im always hard
    
    perpetual priapism
    
    your mom loves it

    
    I said HARDER.
15. 2020-03-05 at 3:37 AM UTC

    #15
    

    snab_snib African Astronaut
    the renaissance happened because the black death tore the economy up enough that the nobles had to pay the regular people whatever they asked. the economy is the enemy of the people and the coronavirus will lead to a period of happiness, prosperity and opportunity for those with the will and constitution to survive it. and the worse the plague is, the better the aftermath will be.
16. 2020-03-05 at 3:49 AM UTC

    #16
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by kobe bryant raped your mom it doesnt get any harder. im already causing irreparable damage to your mothers orifices.

    
    That not even close to hard enough. Keep trying.
17. 2020-03-05 at 3:51 AM UTC

    #17
    

    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    I typed a post about spreading the virus but don't really want to get arrested for bioterrorism or some shit
18. 2020-03-05 at 5:42 AM UTC

    #18
    

    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]

    Originally posted by aldra I typed a post about spreading the virus but don't really want to get arrested for bioterrorism or some shit

    
    yes they are looking for a fall guy so that would be verrrrrry convenient for the global elites
19. 2020-03-05 at 5:52 AM UTC

    #19
    

    vindicktive vinny Black Hole

    Originally posted by aldra I typed a post about spreading the virus but don't really want to get arrested for bioterrorism or some shit

    
    then freespeech has failed.
20. 2020-03-05 at 5:56 AM UTC

    #20
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny then freespeech has failed.

    
    Did he get arrested ? Free speech candyreigns