mashlehash
victim of incest
[my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
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2019-03-19 at 10:15 AM UTC
in
Malice's Autopsy Report
im gonna swallow a note rolled up in a plastic vial that says "fuck you"
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Not all women though.
Id rather jerk off than slept with most females.
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GGG
victim of incest
[my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
Anybody who talks about these general systems like it means anything significant is retarded.
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2019-03-18 at 12:55 AM UTC
in
Steak sauce is an abomination
GGG
victim of incest
[my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
So I have a friend who is by all means a great friend, but he doesn't know how to cook for shit.
Recently he made some steaks that had been marinating for a few hours. At first this intrigued me, since I had never heard of him marinating anything, so I asked him what the meat was soaking in.
Almost immediately, I felt something rise up to my throat. Maybe I was just stoned, but I swear he spent a good 3 minutes just listing off different sauces that he had in his fridge. Multiple steak sauces and rubs, some BBQ, god fucking knows what else. I kind of tuned it out.
"...so it's gonna be good as fuck."
"Yeah, damn. That sounds awesome," I lied. He usually eats microwave foods and I didn't want to discourage him.
The smell of steaks came at me in a gust, but I could not smell any meat. I mean, it SOUNDED like he was cooking meat. It LOOKED like meat. But it did not smell or resemble meat any more than a cardboard box with sauce and cheese resembles a pizza. These things—these so called steaks— were a monstrosity. A goddamned abomination.
Not only were they cooked free of any tender pinkness, but they were loaded with sauce from the inside out, discoloring the meat. Each and every bite stung with the sort of unnatural excuse for flavor that can only be found in this sauce of devils.
I was halfway through the meal when my friend asked the question that would forever change me.
"Do you want some A1?"
I flipped my shit. I threw the steak at my friend. How fucking DARE he.
It's been several weeks and I've yet to return his calls. I don't plan to either. How can one remain on speaking terms with a person who has tried to poison them?
You just can't.
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2019-02-23 at 7:37 AM UTC
in
Return of the Oct
Originally posted by gadzooks
I nominate myself resident historian (I might even do like a Ken Burns style documentary at some point, lol).
I also nominate this to be the new orientation thread in case we get any more stragglers.
I can't wait till my consciousness atoms combine with yours later on.
Here ya go:
FUN BUNCHLanny
Zanick
RISIR
§m£ÂgØLfag
mq
enter
hts
captain f
malice
riz
aldra
daily
Sophie
MORALLY SUPERIOR BEING
Grimace
Casper
Hamp the toker
The Deplorables!!Bill Bill Krozbyby
Infinityshock
A College Professor
Sploo
Spectral
Totse 2001
pat man
Roshambo
Obbe
Semiazas
Mashlehash
Scrawny
Benny Vador
Fonaplats
Michael Myers
Aurther Treacher
Arnox
Madman
Dual membership/neutralNarcassist
LSD
DietPiano
mal
hydromorphone
Aurthur Treacher
DFG
WE SMOOTH
Reststop
Green Plastic
Nil
Big Angr.y Onion
Sudo
Gadzooks
IdkBipolar High Roller
~Literal schizos~DIETPIANO
To0tse2k1
M@shleh@sh
donated life to scienceDissociator
Glokulas Homabla
Acceptable DHCandyrein
Technologist
ohfralala
Squirrel
jackrabbitpsych
tee hee hee
jiggaboo johnson
POLECAT
Bus ridesMalice
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