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Posts by Octavian
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2019-05-29 at 9:12 PM UTC in Would you eat a turd for $100,000?I'd suck dick for 100k. Fuck I'd probably swallow as well for that much, but eating shit is not only gross but a health hazard.
Urgh. -
2019-05-29 at 8:47 PM UTC in The Philosophy of Alan Watts
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2019-05-29 at 8:36 PM UTC in Would you eat a turd for $100,000?I'd rather die than eat shit to be honest.
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2019-05-29 at 8:19 PM UTC in U ever buy a 4 liter box of wine and just get drunk, watch TV, jerk off, and repeatI use to look forward to being old enough to buy ale. Now it's the reason my fucking insides are destroyed.
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2019-05-29 at 7:40 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionPretty much how me, Bill Krozby & Casper feel on a daily basis.
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2019-05-29 at 7:33 PM UTC in How tall r u?Wrong fred
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2019-05-29 at 7:30 PM UTC in I'm currently shaving with body wash instead of shaving cream...I pissed in the sink last night, again, and scrubbed the ezcema on my feet thinking I was onto something radical.
Still have ezcema. -
2019-05-29 at 7:27 PM UTC in Dumbass sets himself alight on the Whitehouse lawnhttps://metro.co.uk/video/man-sets-fire-outside-white-house-1935014/?ito=vjs-link
"Oh my gawd!"
Why is the stupid bitch saying "I'm sorry"? Such an American thing to say in this situation. -
2019-05-29 at 6:32 PM UTC in Vindiktive Vinny likes his little girls small and skinny...Jokes?
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2019-05-29 at 6:21 PM UTC in ATTN: Bindictive BinnyLol faggots I'm getting a merc A class in 2 months.
Finance whip but it'll still be miiiiine. -
2019-05-29 at 6:19 PM UTC in The most exciting thing in the world is drawing the interest of a desirable woman...Why would one flake out after having the confidence of getting the date in the 1st place????
That's like cutting your line just before you reel a big fish in. -
2019-05-29 at 6:17 PM UTC in How tall r u?
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2019-05-29 at 6:16 PM UTC in Trying to get a job as a plumbers assistant
Originally posted by stl1 I remember, quite a few years back, when Randy Jackson was everywhere with his "dawg" act when I was at a bar and some clown said something to me ending in "dawg" whereby I replied that I wasn't his "dawg", but that I'd make him my "bitch" if he called me that again.
Lol reminds me of something I read about Al Capone when he landed in Alcatraz. Someone jumped infront of him in the queue and he said,
"Do you know who I am?"
"No but I'll know who you were". -
2019-05-29 at 5:35 PM UTC in What are you doing at the momentGoing to get referred to a psych or try to. I want to be analyzed.
Can they profile you through certain questions? Can I say, "well doc I just want you to ask me a series of questions that will aid you in giving me a deeper understanding of who I am and what your profile of me would be?"
I'm just going to tell my doctor I need to talk to someone, please refer. This shit is all on the NHS anyway who gives a fuck. -
2019-05-29 at 5:09 PM UTC in ATTN: Bindictive BinnyA nonce-mobile
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2019-05-29 at 5:03 PM UTC in Trying to get a job as a plumbers assistantGood luck m8. Job's a job and gives you more opportunities to do other shit rather than stare at 4 walls.
Fuck am I going back to that life, I'd rather die. -
2019-05-29 at 4:51 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionI'm going to pickup a Ps4 sometime next week and get back into gaming.
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2019-05-29 at 1:48 PM UTC in My Mexican amigo Joel (from Oklahoma) left me some meth wrapped up in a dollar bill, in a baggie, in my car door handle..Does meth, goes gym.
Enjoy your cardiac arrest you stupid dumb fuck.
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2019-05-29 at 1:42 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by CASPER I'm thinking NA might not be my thing, but I'm going to try to hang in there- bc I know a ton about addiction but not so much about sobriety. But my sponsor seems to be doing well and it's worked super well for him. And I u derstand that a huge part of the hole you fill with drugs is like….a spiritual lacking. But 1) I'm an atheist and the idea of "surrendering to God" is fucking weird. I understand that it's supposed to mean something else, but I just don't believe that throwing my hands up and allowing the Universe or whatever to just "mold" me into a better person is going to work. That's what I did with heroin. "Whatever happens happens, and I'm powerless to do anything about that". That's exactly why I wasted 13 years. Passivity. I need to learn not to hand over control, but to fight intelligently. That Bruce lee shit…channel that energy. Exist in the flow. Adapt.
Maybe I don't understand. And I'm reluctant to mention this to my sponsor bc he already thinks the things I'm writing are trying to sound impressive and Intellectual (I'm absolutely not that's just how the writing comes from my head), and I also don't want to seem combative. And bc I'm on methadone which I don't consider sober, but I do consider it a necessary step at least for me- to legit sobriety.
And anyone who's been in tinybltc knows drinking isn't my thing- like at all. I can count the number of times I've been seriously drunk in there on two hands. And I only drink like twice or 3 times a year. For me, drinking especially with new acquaintance she is kind of a bonding ritual. The same when we all go to my friends grave every July 24th and take a shot of Irish whiskey. I get that it's a minor thing and they'd probably understand, and it's not like I'd feel pressured…but just those little quiet moments and rituals…I'd still like to be able to take part in that without being like "I REALLY SHOULDNT BE HERE GUYS RESPECT MY SOBRIETY IM KINDA TRIGGER RITE NOW TBH". Apparently as long as I plan on ever drinking again, I can't go past step 3 bc I haven't "surrendered fully".
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I just want to be fucking normal. I don't want to be one of these mopey faggots. Feels like a cult sometimes. I just want something good to pour myself into that I can feel complete and proud, and I want to wake up in ten years and have to be reminded I was a junkie. I want to take my prescribed medication and improve my health and smoke weed every couple of weeks when my back pain or depression get really bad….without feeling super guilty about it, or like I've got this deep shameful secret like there's a dead hooker under my floorboards.
I hate all this shit.
And then I told him about the weird customer guy at my word who keeps writing these awful "pilots" for different shows he's created. There's one about an "android/ genetic modification babby" . There's one about global warming. There's one about an Alien jedi comedian. There's one about a robot who runs for president. A game show where the contestants try to beat addiction . And just generally it's awful. So I mention I had to run myself off an extra copy to read at home bc it was so hilarious. And he starts "Well did he give you permission to do that?" And in my head I'm just like "fuuuuuuck me". I'm kind of a dick. That's my thing. I'm just as critical of myself as I am of everyone else. I get that this dudes wife died and now he spends his time shitting out awful screenplays. But it's still hilarious. And I don't see anything wrong with having a chuckle, as long as he doesn't get hurt as a result.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm just a dick. But I don't ever want to have a stick that far up my ass unless it's a condition of me cumming in someone's throat afterwards.
Idk.ugh.
I know how you must feel and it gives me inspiration as I start sobriety fully.
I think the biggest part is filling that void. I'm a sociable person so being able to be around people who are drinking and not drink myself would be fucking HARD. I'm filling my void with fitness, reading and doing normal shit like outings to museums, restaurants etc. I shouldn't complain cause NO MORE HANGOVERS/ANXIETY/DEPRESSION/HOLE IN POCKET.
I can also drive wherever the fuck I want, when I want. I'm looking into going swinger clubs as well for the sheer lulz factor. -
2019-05-29 at 1:34 PM UTC in Octavian feels that I am a dead beat pathetic loser...
