Did you remember your dad leaving and starting a family he can actually love?
Who is it referring to? Throw some money at it, see if it'll go away.
2020-02-09 at 6:46 AM UTC
in
What have you learned
My never ending hatred for paedophiles, Incels who still live their mothers, and smack head pan handlers that live in the woods.
Why does DTE follow Squirrel everywhere? I feel my soul cringe everytime she posts after her.
Relive the 90's? You were no older than 10 by the new millenium you stupid cunt. You must miss mommy wiping your ass and getting potty trained.
It's a big place m8. Country/ region?
2020-02-09 at 12:46 AM UTC
in
Sobriety
I love being sober cause it gives me time to reflect and really accept that I'm an arse hole at the best of times when drunk. I think there's been various triggers over time that each have their own correlating problems. For example I could:
Want a drink that in turn leads me to go on a binge and thus snort coke.
I could snort some coke offered to me, leading to drink if not getting more coke, (most likely).
Maybe just being in a room with users. (Just don't be around them, yes, I know)
Getting drunk leading to black out events, getting into trouble. E.g. losing your fucking job.
Personally I think never accepting the tough fact I have shit will power has been a bigger trigger. I must be in denial and can't accept it.
"Pfft it's been a while now without a drop, you must have built up some will power surely?" I would ask myself. There's so much I've lost in the past due to over indulgence but it never registers at the point of relapse. All those celebrities that have gone teetotal as a result of their excessiveness, I would look at and think, "imagine doing something so much, you can never enjoy it again?"
"Fuck-that. No, that will never be me." But in fact it is. I've tried thinking of ways around it, being somewhere or with someone when I drink to keep an eye out. Casper said this is called "bargaining"; which only confirms being indenial more. Being sober has it's pros though, I just miss the social aspect. I do fear perceptions of being seen as a bore or w.e. I am more relaxed/ talkative after one or two, I just don't believe one is restricted to not being as cheery sober as they are drunk.
