2021-09-11 at 12:31 AM UTC
in
I’m still alive AMA
Originally posted by STER0S
yeah yeah yeah
so what kind of drugs do you use
I’m having a 9/11 special
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Originally posted by Speedy Parker
No soul in those eyes. I expected a bit empty but damn!!!
You summoned it back from hell
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Just a naked crack head folks
Nothing to get your pannies in a bunch over
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Someone called 911 about a "machine gun mounted on a car". It was the Google maps car...
"911, what's your emergency?"
"THERE IS A GODDAMN ROCK ON MY LAWN. A ROCK."
"Um... A rock?"
"DID YOU NOT F*CKING HEAR ME? THERE IS A ROCK ON MY LAWN. SOMEONE DID THIS ON PURPOSE. A GODDAMN ROCK IN MY LAWN. I HAD TO DRIVE AROUND IT ON MY LAWNMOWER. A GODDAMN ROCK."
"What's your address?"
"You're f*cking 911 and you don't know my goddamn address? What the f*ck are my taxes paying you for? F*cking useless. Goddamn rock."
"Sir, what is your address?"
"LOOK AT ME ON GOOGLE EARTH YOU CAN SEE ME BECAUSE THERES A GODDAMN ROCK IN MY LAWN!"
"What's your emergency?"
"MY CAT JUST SCRATCHED ME!!"
"Is it a serious wound? are you bleeding?"
"No, but it really hurt!"
A caller dialed 911 at 04:00am on a Saturday morning and asked: "Where is the best place to get a bacon sandwich right now?"
"911 what is your emergency?"
"I have an intruder in my house."
"Okay, what is your address?"
"It's a bird."
WellHung: 911 What's your emergency
Him: "My Grandma's really starting to piss me off"
a lady call 911 because she saw whales in the ocean and thought they were in distress.
People call several times a day about squirrels in their yard. Not even squirrels that are acting weird, just squirrels.
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2021-09-04 at 2:24 PM UTC
in
IM HAVING COEDINE MOOD SWINGS
Originally posted by Grylls
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PILLOW FIGHT LOVE HEARTS
Try the new My Pillow - it comes stuffed with meth and MAGA pipes
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2021-09-04 at 2:18 PM UTC
in
Things you enjoy doing naked
Actually you live every day
You only die once
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Originally posted by WellHung
Ty Smuggler. Will you plz be my plantation overseer?
I’ll need an expense account and a small stipend my good man 💵💵
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2021-09-01 at 11:41 PM UTC
in
Anyone seen the movie Misery?
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?!
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I thought the knock out game was punching your baby in the head until it was knocked out so you could go out and cop drugs from me?
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