2017-07-24 at 10:41 PM UTC
in
Deleted posts for: Fears
You ruined my fucking summer you bitch... My entire year ive been more alone than I ever have been in my life even more isolated than when I was homeless.
It all started with chugging all that bundy to get you to notice me. I dont know how much energy I spent "chasing" you but I regret it all. I won't blame you for that though, no I was just one sucker on the "hts is cute" bandwagon seduced by your siren song of self loathing and self abuse.
This is twice in my life now ive "blown it" with a tranny.. I think I'm done for good with the trans community, fuck you all. You are all cock teases, good for nothing guys who gave up chasing women long ago and now you just troll idiots like me.
I wish it ended there though.
No , I just had to take it as far I could go. I blame the meth abuse honestly now that I'm sober for a week now I realize how fucking stupid I was to waste months chasing a fucking dude with long hair pretending to be a cute girl. What a fucking waste.
I can't even begin to describe how serious I was.. Everything I said was 100% true. It felt like love, I was satisfied in ways like never before and I was actually happy for once. Now I realize it was just drug delusions.
The sexual chemistry was very real and could have been something beautiful.
I still creep your Facebook every day since late June just to read the comments you left for me while I was binging like mad, those sweet names you called Me. I had to delete my Facebook because having those messages from you was too much to bare.
I guess I probably could have sent a bunch of messages but idk.. Sometimes I feel like the other person should respond.. Especially when the last thing you say to the person is "I love you".
I had the entire week free after that I could have ... No ... I was so fucked/up depressed I would have came to visit you. I was trying to think of a way to bring it up and then a few days passed . I was just waiting for a chance but you never replied.
Typical me I thought " she probably just regrets saying all that stuff" .. That was it wasn't it?.
Well now I removed myself from you , I did all the hard work so you dont need to do anything to get rid of me forever. I'm already gone.
You probably moved on while I was still trying to think of how to ask to visit you lol... And here I am still stuck.
I can see you are already making plans with people who could never hold a candle to me. I think its a lovely match because I'm fucking awesome, most kind, generous, chill person you will ever meet. Best lover alive with the biggest heart. So I hope you're happy settling for less.
I hope you go through life with a painful gaping hole in your heart that could only be filled by me.
I would say I hope you have a nice happy life but it looks to me like you already have that, and more, without me.
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