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Posts by Dalai "Fuck You" Llama
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2016-09-06 at 12:49 PM UTC in i hate my father so i killed himI stood over my father as he lie in bed for what seemed like hours. Maybe it was? All I could think about was how much I hated how his chest would rise and fall with each breath he took. I wanted it to stop. Forever. "Why do you keep breathing?", I asked myself. I stood there silent and motionless, boring a hole into him with my searing hatred I had for the man when he suddenly started to move. I don't know if he was somehow able to perceive my oppressive hate while he was asleep or perhaps he had a nightmare or maybe he just needed to shit, but something caused him to roll around a little before cracking open only one eye and jerked upright in bed, startled by the fact someone was standing over his bed and watching him sleep.
"Jesus Christ, son!", he gasped a sigh of relief once he realized it was me. "You scared the shit out of me. Literally! I just shit all in the fucking bed, this is just great!".
Without missing a beat, I began to twist my head back and forth from side to side as fast and rapidly as I could. "I'M A FREAK! A FUCKING FREAK!", I screamed as I jerked my head side to side faster and faster.
"Oh my God, son! What are you doing?! Stop it!", my father exclaimed, trying to calm me down and get me to stop. "Why are you doing this?! What's the matter?!"
"A FUCKING FREAK!", I continued before coming to a sudden stop and leaping upon him. I desperately clawed at his face and eyes growling like a wild animal as he tried to defend himself to lessen my scratches. I dug my fingernails deep into his eyeballs and raked with extreme grinding pressure. My father began to scream as his ocular fluids and blood ran down the length of my forearms and dripped off of my elbows.
I rolled him over onto his stomach and saw that he wasn't kidding, he really did shit all over himself. There was thick, plaster-like shit caked all over his ass and the back of his legs. This only enraged me further as I pulled my dick out and rammed it to the hilt inside of my father. He moaned in agony and mumbled to himself in defeated lamentation as I slowly and repeatedly slid in and out of my father's shit-caked ass.
"I'm sorry it had to be this way, dad!" I told him, tears forming in my eyes. "I DID IT FOR OUR FAMILY!".
I pulled the knife out of the holster I always had around my thigh and cut two very deep slits into the back of my father, one on either side of his spine. Reaching my hands into the slits, I grabbed hold of one rib with each hand and began to pull back towards me. The weight of my extremely obese body was enough to pin him down, while my relentless pulling was causing only his ribs to move. I pulled harder and dad screamed. Suddenly feeling like there was little time, I began to wildly jerk and frantically pull on his ribs as if my life depended on it. He writhed and thrashed under my weight, screaming in complete mind-blowing pain before each rib snapped away from his sternum and out through the slits in his back making a type of bone wing. I was mesmerized by how it looked so I made new slits and released more ribs from his sternum. He wasn't screaming now, just sort of moaning and groaning.
Blood flowed like a geyser out of his back and soaked into the mattress as I stood back and looked at my handiwork. I saw his back of cigarettes on the night stand and sat down and smoked them all, admiring the beauty of a job well done. His chest wasn't moving up and down with each breath now, because there was no breath. He wasn't breathing and he never would. A smile spread across my face.
"I did something good today. I killed my father and made him a bone angel. Made me feel good about myself.", I said aloud to myself with no one else in the room except for the deafening silence and the ticking of the clock on the wall. Oh, how it ticked...
The end.
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2016-09-06 at 12:17 PM UTC in I hate women and I wish I was gay.
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2016-09-05 at 9:14 AM UTC in RARE! Exclusive pictures of Lanny having a shitty time on the russian front.:D
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2016-09-05 at 9:11 AM UTC in Lanny, why did you pretend to be a girl for so long?
…also I tend to like the female models/armor designs better on a purely aesthetic level.
Bullshit. You choose female characters in the games so you can gawk at their bodies and stare at their bouncing tits, the closest you'll ever get to being with a woman. Faggot. -
2016-09-05 at 9:06 AM UTC in fix your fucking "who's online"Unless the same autists are on this piece 24/7, then your "who's online?" is broken as fuck and displays the same members always and forever. fucking fix it.
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2016-09-05 at 7:38 AM UTC in I just got a very bad haircut.They should have fucking scalped you. Also, what kind of faggot goes to a barber to maintain their beard? Learn how to do it yourself you fucking autist. Jesus Christ. A grown ass man going to a barber to maintain their beard? What the fuck. How embarrassing!
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2016-09-04 at 9:20 AM UTC in Shit...i'm old now
My best years were smoking meth watching the sun go up and down in fast forward , playing music so loud it scares the cats and eating and sleeping never but somehow still alive to tell the tale. It might have all been a crazy illusion but it was more blissful and fun than my entire childhood.
Prove it. YOU CANT! -
2016-09-04 at 3:36 AM UTC in An American FilmThe sun was rising over the horizon as I took a long puff of my cigarette. The weather will be turning cool soon and I always forget to pack a jacket. I shivered a little in the cool morning breeze blowing into my car as I sped down a lonely country road. The two kids were in the back seat, squirming around like little worms. That's what they are anyhow, little fucking worms. Surprisingly, it was the girl who put up more of a fight than the little boy did. I had to spray wasp repellent into her eyes and then beat her unconscious with a rock. The little boy was terrified and went with me willing, shitting and pissing his pants the entire time. Haha, what a fucking faggot!
I pulled over along the side of the road where the ditch became deeper. I pushed in the cigarette lighter to my walrus dick purple Mitsubishi Gallant to allow it to get hot while I hummed the tune to "Mary Had A Little Lamb". The kids were moaning and squirming through their bondages, trying desperately to break free. I stared out the window and dazed off, thinking about those new cheese filled burritos at Taco Bell. What exactly is that cheese? It's not fucking cheese. I don't know what it is, but it certainly isn-*click!*...the cigarette lighter popped out. Without hesitation, I pulled it out and spun around, RAMMING it into the little girl's eye. Her muffled blood curdling screams echoed in the silent countryside as I pushed and twisted the hot cigarette lighter into her eyeball. The little boy watched in horror and started pissing and shitting his pants again. "FUCKING QUEER!", I shouted at him, grabbing a hammer and beating his skull in over and over and over and over. I couldn't stop hammering it down into his face, each strike caving his skull in and causing a pooling of blood and an audible, sickening cracking of bone. I beat him and beat him until my arm grew tired.
Needing some fresh air, I stepped out of the car and paced back and forth for a moment, allowing my arm to rest the little girl was still moaning from her now roasted black eyeball and each moan or whimper caused a deep, seething hatred to burn deep within me. Without even thinking, I dragged her out of the car and laid her on the road, her head towards the car's front left tire. I slowly and carefully drove up onto her face and then slammed down on both the gas and the brakes at the same time. The tires spun wildly as smoke surrounded the car. The tire's tread caught traction with the girl's skin and ripped her face off as well as the muscles and veins. Blood was splattering wildly into the air in front of me and I laughed hysterically. I eventually stopped and dragged the little boy's body out of the back of my car and laid it on top of the girl's body which was now decapitated and severely mangled and bloodied. I then got back into my car as "Highway To The Danger Zone" came on the radio and I tapped the steering wheel rhythmically as I drove off into the horizon. The end. -
2016-09-04 at 3:17 AM UTC in Cakes suckYou fucking suck and so does this fucking shitheap of a website you faggots running. The fuckaround gang, holy fuck.
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2016-09-04 at 3:15 AM UTC in Shit...i'm old nowEvery year, you grow older and older and you realize that your life has gone NO WHERE. You sit looking at the computer monitor in total disbelief at what a fucking joke your entire life has been. "Where did all the years go?" you ask yourself, coming to terms with the fact that your "best years" was never anything spectacular at all and that you're going to die alone and miserable because you're a pathetic piece of shit. Happy fucking birthday.
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2016-09-04 at 3:11 AM UTC in *takes deep breath* I'm a weak little bitch faget ass fuckboi.faggot
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2016-09-04 at 3:10 AM UTC in teach me about love niggas
Whatever you think don't do it. Love only ends in pain.
shut the fuck up, you fat, gross whore. i fucking hate you. -
2016-09-04 at 3:08 AM UTC in I hate women. Hate.omfg this entire thread is so fucking embarrassing hahaha! we got a fat trailer park whore going on about her self esteem issues and a fucking autist LOSER talking about how he hates women. i hate both of you, you fucking pieces of shit. i hope you both fucking die and burn in hell hahahaha! oh my god.
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2016-09-03 at 6:24 AM UTC in I feel compelled to tell or write pervy things to hot/pretty girlsI feel compelled to write about barbaric and horribly brutal murderous scenes of death against my family members or small children. It's probably from growing up in Soviet Russia.
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2016-09-03 at 6:22 AM UTC in Question about pregnant womenwhen I was born, in a small town in Soviet Russia, my mother was promptly decapitated after they announced it was a, "THING!". I grew up to be a perfectly normal thing, if you ask me. :)