Just paying my respects to my dear friend.
Reflecting...got to do more of it.
2022-04-05 at 1:05 AM UTC
in
My dating diaries
Guys please wear protection PLEASE! Time is crucial always.
2022-04-04 at 5:04 PM UTC
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My dating diaries
Yes. I forget I'm blunt at times. To where I just speak my mind and like you know what I'm thinking with my eyes LOL. Like u will kno if I don't like ur shoes or if something is bothering me which can be a turn off to even me cus I have no filt3r.
I feel his presence but in a non creepy way
2022-04-04 at 4:49 PM UTC
in
My dating diaries
O gotcha. I feel you on that and Bradley im Mexican American.
2022-04-04 at 4:45 PM UTC
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My dating diaries
I thought about making a YouTube series lol but not everybody needs to kno my shit. Most certainly Patreon. But wym pics? Lol that's not awkward to take pics on first dates?
Lol Bradley ur name sounds like u trouble :/
2022-04-04 at 4:33 PM UTC
in
My dating diaries
So I once dated this amateur p0rnstar. Here I thought he had a studio with the lights camera action but newp. I mean I get it, it takes awhile to grow any media production esp now! But this was not it. His so called lights/computer/equipment was in a tiny space in his bedroom of his apt townhouse. Unfortunately I did not participate in his p0rn roster he didn't even ask but he didn't have to. He showed me one of his videos n it was sad. I mean sure authentic raw stuff but so homemade it looked like it was taken on a phone. I kno he had prof cameras but who knows he could've been bluffing. But anyway this was a horrible experience. He was an alcoholic (didn't tell me til later) and after I kissed him. He reeked of he had been drinking all day. Talking about he had papasitos margaritas before we got to his place. Mind u already a red flag that he didn't even take me out on a date. Just went straight to his apt across town. I'm sure he borrowed the truck cause it was having problems. Was it even his apt? Who knows? I felt like the night was never gonna end, we were drinking and I mean we did it but it was nothing magical for being an alleged p0rnstar I expected better but idk maybe he was drunk n yes protection was used all night.
We had our moments where we'd chit chat and reminisced about our past telling him top secret shet like I was gonna be his gf LMAO I gave him one of my seroquels cause he wanted to n it def felt like a therapy session from the mischievous things we've done in our past to talking about old Nickelodeon shows but then he killed the night by kept repeating "you kno me and u are never gonna work out right?" And I just went to bed like fack that loser. He woke up having hallucinations talking bout he was in traffic on a motorcycle n got pulled over? Idk but I kept waking up to see if it was morning yet to fast forward when it finally was I was like thank god now just waiting for him to wake up...he was not waking up. So at this point I was in his bed thinking why tf didn't I just Uber home after he had fallen asleep cause this was the most boring ons ever and I went downstairs getting ready to leave hoping he'd wake up to take me home! Well, when he finally woke up, he was like "F@ck!" Kept on repeatingly saying it n ran downstairs n was hella thirsty. I guess he was still barred out from the drug I gave him and/or just was dreading to take me home? All he had was topo Chico but he had lost the bottle can opener so we were looking for some good minutes n I went up stairs n found it against the bottom of his bed but by that time he had already opened it with a knife I guess lol. How am I still alive? Oh n his restroom OMG so so gross idk how anyone can live like that!
Anyway, he went back to sleep on the couch where I was sitting n he had a cute cat named peaches with orange eyes that glowed up who was very friendly n kept spreading her pheromones against my legs. So lastly, he was not gonna get up so I just ubered myself home since he wasn't in a driving condition state to drive. The way the apt complex was setup weird that I had to get on in busy moving traffic street felt like like mission impossible literally. I felt bad that I didn't wait til he was ok to leave but ya bish had to go! My parents didn't chew me out that bad cause they weren't home in the morning. I mean they did kno I was out with a guy but I just told them he couldn't drive cause he was too drunk to drive which was partly the truth. I think the best thing about this all was the new drink he introduced me to which was Modelo mango and Modelo pineapple and Modelo lime but wasn't crazy for the lime one. But it was great with tajin. We also had the same taste in music which was cute cause he let me play my Spotify playlist what guy lets u do that, heh?*french Montana voice* like when guys are usually quick to jump on it. But idk he just didn't spark my attention enough. I did check up on him via text n he said he didn't message for a whole 24 hours n had to miss work due to the seroquel n even told his parents but he said his dad didn't wanna help him since he took that pill on his own free will n he did! I'm never doing that again tho giving pills to anyone. I should've known better before y'all scream at me the consequences are awful n not worth it.
I've done it before too with my ex-fling but he was an ass so I don't feel sorry for him, and my ex-fling is still trying to get back with me! I just blocked his ass but I'll save that one for another story. I texted p0rnstar on a whim just to see how he's doing and nothing. Oh well. But he was talking to 2 other women at the same time. Maybe even more but only knew of 2. A stripper and another hairdresser (besides me) idk I guess he thought of me as just a friend cause a few weeks past, n he said the hairdresser cleaned all his house and that nasty ass restroom! Then that he had 2 dates with them n his dumbass made them the same day which I'm sure was on purpose n the hairdresser gave the stripper a hairstyle so I guess it went good. I think he was into the stripper more and had only business ties with the hairdresser. But he got mad cause the hairdresser kept using him like it'll never be enough with editing portfolio pics n creating a website. he bought the stripper a flat iron from hairdresser. I'm sure he made videos with them both but idk about together. He'd always say he was going to a party or going to midtown and would never invite me BUT he'd wanna meet up with me afterwards I never met him again. He said from the start that he was obsessed with that stripper why didn't I listen to that red flag? He said he'd never get with her tho cause it was all just fantasy in his head. I think she bailed after that day n never saw him again and they did all three go on that date n left him with the bill, I'd a been effin pissed if that ever happened to me.
He was a big hustler btw. He got around i guess for having a townhouse. But the broken truck was a turnoff. It had like a missing headlight n smelled of burned electronics lmao let me find out he stole it. Report back if that's what hot wire smell is. Ugh. But he had many trades it'd be hard to keep up with his hustles a web designer, fixing broken phones(was on call with someone to fix a phone that night), sold VR's cause at one point he was at a sports bar selling them idk just going by what he's texted/told me, he performed devil magick, worked at some car repot place and now I think he works with a construction company *sigh* o n can't forget the amateur p0rn but he's saying he's quitting that industry. glad I no longer speak to him cause he was all sorts of bad and everywhere he goes they wanna beat him up he says. He's not even the tough looking guy. Quite charming so I guess I can see he can provoke ppl esp when drunk. And damn he can't even say "hey" back when I randomly say hi? Oh well I'll let it go its not worth it. Maybe I just set him to trouble cause he knows he did me dirty. So I could see why he's embarrassed or ashamed to talk to me now that he's realized what he's done. I shouldn't even be letting myself talk to him. He left me on read btw...but let me not be so quick to assume cause maybe he just read it but will respond later. Reporting back: he hasn't yet responded yet and he tore the back of my bralette trying to unsnap it open that night which I had to throw away cus it was destroyed and unfixable😖
O ok I think I kno who came in my dream also starts with a J. Smh but needs to be Jesus
Collide with Tyga and Justine Skye
What does a slashed eye mean in a dream? It was red. The whole linear work. Like that fluorescent lit up red against black aesthetic.
Just woke up right now and realized I give off prostitute vibes since the womb. 🥴 how come nobody told me this? I'm mad but will just get told I'm sexy. That's not cute. I'm also on the heavy side and I hate the stereotypical aspect of bc I'm big I have more fun or something. IM NOT SMILING AT YOU IM ACTUALLY SMILING CUS IM SHY AND CANT GET ANY GUYS WITHOUT ONLINE DATING APPS. BY THE WAY THEYRE THE ONES THAT END UP WANTING TO HAVE THE FUN NOT ME!
Why can't someone just love me for me? Like it's so easy for most people to lose weight given there's more resources these days that you'd think people would give you a chance lol. Like imma get skinny and post my fat pics and see what's up if guys switch on me. That's how you 90210 this. Lol idk what that meant but it came to me.
And sorry I know it's morning but my spirits are running high. Doug is that you? Well anywho, that's motivation for me--the posting my big gworl pics later realizing if these mo fo's really sticking to their WORD. "Oh no bbygirl I would love u on the in and outside either way!" LOL savage. To be cont. also, idk if I'm here to stay on this board I just quit one board cus I found THEY were soul sucking the daylights out of me so don't think here will be any different huh lol no tea, no shade 🙃
i don't kno basic html anymore since myspace n yall even gave me tuts lol but ya gurl is dumb I guess. But also don't know if it's just not compatible with iPhone. U need to get a laptop anyway. Haven't had one since 2012 same with a camera!
No one asked. But I am an array of colors.
