Originally posted by Average Jane
I’m rolled up in a burrito of cozy blankets with my cat having a binge watching session. This is my version of heaven
you better have a vagina.
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RIPtotse
victim of incest
[my adversative decurved garbo]
Originally posted by BeeReBuddy
He decides to call the Fona-fone and relay new orders against his sworn enemy T2K1. Fona accepts the orders without question.
When he suddenly remembers he has a raging heroin addiction and he did he last bag 6 hours ago and he has no wake up. Except.... he was buying his drugs from none other than bootsy collins of parliament-funkadelic and it was space heroin, which was actually not heroin at all but actual poop from aliens from another realm. Not only did you get the most amazing high ever you also begin to leak shit from every orafice of your body at an increasingly alarming rate until you literally have shit logs pushing your eyeballs out when you were in withdrawal, there was no gettting off space dope kiddies.
Now for the real spin.
Bootsy won’t answer the phone, in fact it’s playing that horrible bitches voice saying, the subscriber you are trying to reach is unavailable bullshit.
You suddenly notice a very pungent smell and wipe your brow and realize it’s all brown smears.
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Originally posted by Average Jane
Jeff got home and changed his undies and proceeded to scrape the human flesh and organ shrapnel from his once beautiful Hellcat with his Paula Deen spatula. When all of a sudden…
the bell chimed on his Ron Poupille Rotisserie Grill. That meant dinner was ready, Jeff loved how easy and healthy it was to cook with his Ronco Showtime Rotisserie.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
