So you want to get as drunk as your cool uncle Tom, but "lost" your ID? No worries, this guide will lay out a few methods to score some brews.
Method 1 - Make alcohol.
How to: Easy. get a gallon of some apple/grape juice (organic, no preservatives). Pour some out, then add 1-2 cups of sugar. The more sugar there is in the mix, the higher the possible ABV of your hooch. Add 2 packets of yeast (I just use bread yeast), give it a quick shake, then let it sit in a dark, slightly warm place. I use a closet. Wait 5-10 days, and Voila! You will be able to get drunk for pennies on the dollar. Last step is to simply enhancement out the yeast, you can drink it if you really want to, but you will be peeing out of your asshole later on. Enjoy!
Method 2 - Have someone help you.
This method can be dangerous, if you ask an off-duty or undercover officer, you're fucked. Ask a friend or relative if possible, but if you don't have those options, ask a homeless guy. Give them just enough money to buy the booze and promise them an extra couple bucks when you get it. If possible, have them put it in the passenger seat of your car, give him the extra money (or not, it's up to you.) and whip it out of there immediately.
Method 3 - Bootgang it.
This is my least favorite method, but it works in a pinch. Don't do this in grocery stores, it takes too long to get out, and LP will be watching you as soon as you get to the liquor section, especially if you look underage. Instead go to a gas station. They are much smaller, usually don't have LP, and you can get in and out in less than a minute. SWIM's record for stealing a 5th of jack is 19 seconds. Wear 2 hoodies if it is cold out, if it is warm you'll have to wear cargo pants/ sweat pants. If you have the hoodies, simply put the bottle into your "underhoody's" pocket and walk out. Similar process with sweatpants. You don't have to buy anything, it might actually get you caught, but if you have concealed the bottle effectively it wouldn't hurt to make a small purchase. Good options for bootganging alc are pints, shooter bottles, 5ths, and box wine (the small ones). You don't want to be walking around the store with a 750 ml falling out of your pocket like a dumbass. You'll get waacked.
Another thing you can do is take the alcohol to the bathroom and chug it. You can do this with buzzballs and other canned drinks pretty easily, liquor will be harder. If you do this, though, you better be ready to chug that shit like a 4th year frat boy, because anyone could come into the bathroom at any time, and you don't know if you where seen going into the bathroom with it, or seen concealing it and then going to the bathroom.
Don't bootgang alcohol more than 1-2 times a month from a particular store, you'll get wacked.
