2023-10-06 at 9:36 PM UTC
Folks I was very much excited to eeeee'EEEEEE myself, I wrote a letter to each of the important people in my life, like eight people or so, grabbed up all my stuff and went ot the ocean.
I sat there for awhile, I decided to do it sober so I would really feel what was going on and I was just chillin and I realized I was thinking coherently, like really coherently and it occured to me that I'm not mentally retarded. Just mildly blind (wherever I look has a blind spot so I have to read with my peripherals vision relatively up close)
So I decided I'mma try to live life right for a couple months. Now that my mind isn't going on me, I'm trying to find otherways to live.
I started doing yoga, eating 2-3 meals a day, I take a handful of supplements/vitamins, went back on my anti depressants and most importantly (IMO) I quit drinking three and a half weeks ago. This is the longest I've gone without a drink in about 10 months.
I'm still learning how to use a lot of the accessibility software the school furnished me with, they're buying me a new laptop if I get accepted for the emergeny financial aid, and all my professors r gonna go super soft on me cuz i'm disabled LOL
So yeah, I just been smoking pot, I think about this forum here and there. But reading has become extremely arduous as I do it a couple letters at a time or have to use text to speech.
That being said my new lifestyle was needed because I no longer really have the four friends I have kept close to my heart for most of my life:
-Non Fiction Reading
-Shitposting in this Community
-Drinking Alcohol
-Fishing
So I've tried my best to focus on school even tho it's hard to read, I'm trying to sign up for these community classes for the blind so I can meet blind chicks to fuck in the ass/wife but if I wife someone anal is a must, I don't even really hang out outside with my friends ont he block like I used to because I feel like IDK now that I'm not piss drunk they're kinda lackluster people who tell circular lies but when they come full circle in their story or they repeat themselves the stories change.
So yeah I'm trying to live decent.
I think I went partially blind because I've been a bad person for the last twenty years or so, but realistically I was a bad child too. So I guess this is my punishment and I hope to try to become a nicer better person but its a challenge going from being a piece of shit to being a good person.
Mostly I feel like I'm a wounded lion, I thought I was gonna be a retarded blind man and like actually brain dead and since I didn't actually begin developing mental retardation, I opted to not kill myself and stop using hard drugs in addition to alcohol.
I think about killing myself periodically throughout the day but truthfully I like being alive even if it is kinda difficult and boring. I think that's why I wanna have a kid, so I can try to be nice to some child and raise him semi right and have someone to talk to. My dogs doing good too.
A lot of times I just feel sad but I guess that's part of losing your vision, at least i'm not incarcerated like Roshambo or burnt out like Ghost or mentally lacking like Wariat. So that's good I Guess.
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2023-10-06 at 9:37 PM UTC
oh and I still have this fatass dick but my depression has caused my fapping to drop to all time lows (8-14 times a day)
2023-10-07 at 12:21 AM UTC
You seem to do pretty good for yourself when you don't drink. Don't go back to it, it's shit.
2023-10-07 at 4:11 PM UTC
Wariat
Marine/Preteen Biologist
you saint man. you is a saint.
2023-10-07 at 4:20 PM UTC
The ocean is pretty cold
im glad you not dead though
2023-10-07 at 7:32 PM UTC
Originally posted by Meikai
Not sure if metaphor or cataracts, but if the latter they can probably sort you out at a doctor's office.
I believe he said it’s from a thiamine deficiency, I don’t know much about that but it seems to me like the damage is done.
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2023-10-07 at 7:33 PM UTC
Glad you didn’t off yourself man, stay strong
2023-10-07 at 7:33 PM UTC
Anything has to be better than having both your feet planted in a flower pot of dried cement swaying with the current way down between the weeds at the bottom of the ocean.
*This run on sentence was brought to you by the letter B.
2023-10-07 at 7:55 PM UTC
For all you kids who want to get your life together, step one is drop ALL the pharmaceuticals. BigPharma is not your friend. They want to kill you, or at least mess you up real bad, so they can make trillions of dollars for themselves off your demise. Their mind-altering garbage rewires your brain, and not in good ways. They don't want to cure you, they want to profit from you and keep you in exactly the same place you are. Smoke top-shelf weed. very healthy for you. The CBD in it repairs your body and mind. Not a single person has ever died from it, while billions have died of pharmaceuticals. It's not a tough choice at all. Drop all the pills, liquids and shots and fill up a pipe. Best advice from an old man I can give you.
2023-10-07 at 8:06 PM UTC
totse2118
Space Nigga
[my ci light-haired pongee]
And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out,
and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for
thee that one of thy members should perish, and
not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
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