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Why Jimanji 2 is a shitty movie

  1. #1
    Bradley Black Hole
    Folks, I tried watching a movie for the third time this year.

    It was on HBO so you can't pause it or go back and rewind it okay. Also no commercials, so I go answer the door because someone wanted something and of course I start talking and like maybe 6 minutes later I look back at the movie and sit down.

    Bro this movie is made for kids with ADHD or some shit, I'm so fucking confused where the plot went and couldn't pick it up. Apparently they're all video game characters with avatars instead of like players in a game, so they keep resetting and changing who the people are and one is the Rock and Kevin Hart (I think) and some white guy I can't remember so I Though tit was gonna be some good shit.

    Confusing, and kinda retarded. I remember growing up my mom's friend had two sons and they had like hundreds of movies and whenever I would go over there so my mom could get laid I'd hang out with dude's sons and we'd all get to a pick a movie and they'd make popcorn and shit for us. Anyway, I ALWAYS piked Jimanji I wish fucked up shit like that would happen like when they're playing the board game and teh elephant runs dead ass through the wall into the living room, that's my favorite part, so I 'm sitting here and I watch like 45 minutes of this confusing ass sequel and I'm not feeling it bro, also I figured ou thow to steal HBO and cinemax and everything :) :) :)

    I miss like 10 minutes of this shit, the time it takes me to answer teh door, let someone in, tell my dog to settle down, smoke a bowl and say good bye to my friend and lock the door. I got lost.

    So..... Anyway.

    4/10 Maybe it would be better if I was a child and not a stoned trapstar.
  2. #2
    I'd slide the ginger one a length of old John Thomas.
  3. #3
    Instigator African Astronaut
    Watched it in jail and probably masturbated to it/her.

    I dont remember the plot.

    10/10 for the wank though.
  4. #4


    Delicious.
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