Hey Joe, Bro, hey man, I see you just executed some administration... Joe that's cool, Joe... Joe, I have to talk to you about something on the agenda, Joe. Joe, listen... Joe, I am... 29 years old, Joe. My partner is in and out of the psyche ward, I don't have a bed in my house... I'm 90 pounds overweight... Joe, what I'm about to go over with you is virtually overwhelmingly cliché... And it's a pain in the ass... And this is part of the journey of becoming a legitimate adult. Freaking, anyway... Here goes.
Joe, I am an American, college student, sportsman, and ex-inmate. Mister Biden, I see where the law comes from when you it says I can't be getting into argument with people and using weapons, because I shouldn't even be manifesting that... But I'm coming from the sticks, where we have to worry about... Wild dogs, feral animals... And sometimes even bears. Ask Dana Embry, She will show you a picture of a bear on her property back up when she used to live on the ridge. And these are animals, that are dangerous. Now I am a big guy, strong and able-bodied, but I am still no match for a pack of dogs in the hollow gooning around looking for trouble. Joe,
I'm trying to go to college, or something, I don't care, and... No, Joe, I do not really care to go to the freaking gopnik meat beat in the urals, Man. Low key, I'm trying to get out to Colorado and do some geological indexing... Freaking, so I can get some work done and be gainfully occupied, Joe. I just found another fossil at the beginning of this month at griggs reservoir here in Columbus, and it's an occupation I can do competently without flooding a career field. I know some people in the profession that can vouch for me, and they are good people. Regardless of how bitter that I am that I didn't get to join the cool kids club in school. As I digress, Joe... Freaking the woods... Man, sometimes it's scary, bro... I'm not gonna lie. When that brush is up, freaking, people have a lot of thoughts when their on a hill side and they hear some twigs snap on a rainy day in April, bro. Even Bill Reid (my P.O.), in Washington County probably gets nervous out in the brush. I'm not trying to write a suspense novel here, Joe. I'm just saying... Now Joe, I'm getting wore out trying to keep track of these, "bans"... Freaking, (even) a 9mm ain't just gonna stop a bear like a bouncer at a club... I'm telling you Joe Biden, those animals are strong. Now, not every job warrants a weapon, such as a weight-room attendent... (I use to love working the rec center on Sundays)... Or a charter boat captain, or a talk show host.. You know, Joe, I just hate the thought of going out on the range and having to deal with the thought of haggling with a great big beast to the end of being eating by a non-sentient entity. Freaking... And maybe I'm over-reacting... But it's just what's outside. Outside at night in the city is not the same as outside at night in the sticks... I just read recently about a female mauled to death by coyotes in Canada back in like... (2009)... And even like in 2020 December when I lived out in Baltimore, Ohio... And I wanted to go outside in my pajamas to lay down on the ground in the field beside my house... I still felt really uncomfortable and got back in the house, because instinct told me to be leary... I felt like I was on a large amount of benedryl. Which is where I'm going if I don't get gainfully occupied... Anyway Joe... I'm not trying to look like a brute tech going out on the range looking for rocks, Joe. But I would like some equip able and ruckable... I'm not trying to be punky brewster out on the range gazing out a thousand yards at a grizzly bear charging at me and having time to have paradigm-shifting revelations while approaching a fifty cent ass death... I don't know, Joe. The populations shift all the time. It's hard to tell if I'll be able to hack it, truly, to be honest, because that really is some treacherous territory... And I'm not about to buy it because the tool is too heavy. I really do want to look at fossils, Joe. Not only do they help us keep track of time, they can be used in engineering, mathematics and science. You know what, Joe... How about you send a natural resources officer out there, to evaluate the territories, make a judgement and report back to you and I on this matter. And I don't know what's going to happen with this probation, Man... It's been since 2013, and I have just been getting dunked on corporeally. And this isn't me necessarily trying to be hench, I just want the security, and I want to get busy. I love my Partner, and I hope to get married to her when I got my ducks in order. Bill Reid, I'm really not trying to dunk on him, because, he
is a brother from the country. For all I know he may do holiday services AT my home church... I never know. And my bad days, Joe... It's stress, man. I/We never know when the gas price is gonna be up... We never know if the trash receptical is going to be full, we never know if our favorite food is going to be on the shelves... If loved ones are going to be awake during calling hours... Stress, Joe, all from uncertainty man... The weather, for crying out loud, Joe! Man this stuff is obstacles. We're fighting, everyday, mentally with the variables, bro. It's nerve-racking. No, I am not a rebel. I just want to make sure I'll be able to reach the next checkpoint, or what have you, Joe. Man, Ohio is so backwards, Man. Here, freaking... The other day during some threatening (tornadic) weather, I had to go
OUTSIDE to check on the situation as the sirens went off, because the variables are so uncertain and contested in this area, Joe. It's exhausting Man, and that may or may not be why I'm trying to rehome, Joe, regardless... I'm trying to contribute Man, and sometimes the best way to do that is to be accounted for as (actually) occupied, regardless of whether or not I am contributing. It's so unpredictable, and we know so little about these weather events. There was mobile homes on the other side of town flipped turned upside down even when the event was only classified as EF0! It's the most protracted (therefore exhausting) situation Joe. And even in Colorado, there's no guarantee of a solid foundation. It's the inhumane condition of God, Man, he's ruthless and unforgiving, Man, and all we can do is fight. A rock slide and a flash flood can be devastating just as a tornado, but at least, I can be gainfully occupied, so that I can, with leverage, try and build some posterity... And if worst comes to worse, I can have the latitude to displace to an equally enabled operating circumstance... Freakin, Joe, *pant pant pant*... I'm almost done here Joe, hold on let me finish. Like I say, freakin... I'm not trying to be as dramatic as my essay suggests, even though this is... Real life. I know Joe, it's hard work. It was hard work in the Obama-era and it still is. We're grinding, Brother, and I'm fighting for you man. Freaking... It's a new millenium.
Like I said, I'm not trying to go out on the range, looking like Duke Nuke 'em. I'm just trying to cover my ass (no, not socially)... Animals are scary Joe, I'm no stranger to canine attacks, unfortunately, despite of their endearing nature. Angry animals are viscious man, they maul, the mame... They're unpredictable... Despite the number of pull ups you sit there and bust out with them, Man. And like... I don't even necessarrilly want to go out in the great outdoors and tote an elephant gun, Man, I'm trying to haul something, relatively conservative, flexible and reliable, like this
or
Something compact, small, mentally and physically unobtrusive. Something that I can take out on the range and not feel like I'm in a struggle to survive. Something that makes me feel like a, a... A citizen. An actual citizen. Somebody who puts on comfortable clothes, cooks my food in a loving home, and goes to a civilian job. Like I said, Joe. I am really not out there trying to keep the law, or even police nature. I just want to feel safe, man.
Here's a picture of some of my fossils
you can see some remains most clearly in the one on the bottom left
Any way, Joe. I get it and I do, categorically support gun control, and my (detainment)commitment does, in so much gravity speak for who I am and what I stand for, and what I enable. I'm not out here trying to elect Dwayne-Herbert-Elezando-Moutain-Dew-Comacho,
Hey, nice hair!But I do want to be able to wake up and safely ensure my R&R time at the end of the day after work. This has nothing to do with police brutality, human conflict or trying to be a bad ass, Joe. I just want to be safe, whether you can see this or not. I want to vote, I want to contribute, and I want to conserve our natural resources, even if they are intellectual.
Any way that's all. Thank you for your time.
