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Leonardo DiCaprio bravely dumps GF after she becomes offensively old

  1. Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by Sudo It's how I give thanks and it helps me be a better Dad. Alot of people pray like this but others pray in different ways, I can show you if you like

    Lol you're a mudslime
  2. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker Lol you're a mudslime

    Was anyone upset when you told them nobody is going to be at your funeral or do you even have anyone to tell?
  3. Steven African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Sudo Was anyone upset when you told them nobody is going to be at your funeral or do you even have anyone to tell?
  4. Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by Sudo Was anyone upset when you told them nobody is going to be at your funeral or do you even have anyone to tell?

    There won't be anything to be at. No point in wasting good money my son can use on an event I can't attend.

    How about you? Will your entire village gnash and wail?
  5. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker There won't be anything to be at. No point in wasting good money my son can use on an event I can't attend.

    How about you? Will your entire village gnash and wail?

    Is the only person you would expect to show up your son? That's kinda sad.

    I expect my funeral will have some bitches wearing black and some other people who I've had a complicated relationship with would show up. Who knows tho, maybe everyone will say fuck it and go bowling that day. There's a big local funeral this weekend that'll be blocking off some streets in an area of the city but I'm not attending.

    I went to a funeral for someone who used to be the head of my provinces barristers association and it was sparsely attended. He was languishing with Parkinsons for so long I think all his lawyer buddies thought he was dead. I remember I went directly from the funeral to a job interview, with which I got the job.
  6. Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by Sudo Is the only person you would expect to show up your son? That's kinda sad.

    I expect my funeral will have some bitches wearing black and some other people who I've had a complicated relationship with would show up. Who knows tho, maybe everyone will say fuck it and go bowling that day. There's a big local funeral this weekend that'll be blocking off some streets in an area of the city but I'm not attending.

    I went to a funeral for someone who used to be the head of my provinces barristers association and it was sparsely attended. He was languishing with Parkinsons for so long I think all his lawyer buddies thought he was dead. I remember I went directly from the funeral to a job interview, with which I got the job.

    No, he is the only person named in my estate as an heir you fuckwit.
  7. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker No, he is the only person named in my estate as an heir you fuckwit.

    Ah so you aren't leaving him enough to cover your funeral expenses? That's also kinda sad but selfless in a way, why bother paying for something and wasting the few dollars you're leaving him for a funeral no one is going to attend? I hope he can make better use of the money you inherited that he will in turn inherit
  8. Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by Sudo Ah so you aren't leaving him enough to cover your funeral expenses? That's also kinda sad but selfless in a way, why bother paying for something and wasting the few dollars you're leaving him for a funeral no one is going to attend? I hope he can make better use of the money you inherited that he will in turn inherit

    You don't even have a will. Nothing to leave and nobody to leave it too.
  9. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker You don't even have a will. Nothing to leave and nobody to leave it too.

    Most people my age do not have a will. Most people your age with your health issues certainly have one and expect their loved ones to congreg8 upon their passing
  10. Originally posted by Steven i bertered my access to her vagina with granting her husband access to my anus.

    i c.
  11. cigreting Dark Matter
    Originally posted by Sudo That was your question? I have a kid with her and although I try my darn destiny to kick her out I'm not a petty bitch who's gonna have my kid go without out of spite. She gets some money and will get a job when she gets a place which been trying to find for a while

    So now answer my question. Do you think you'll ever have sex again or is intimacy just "not for you?" Is it over for you or are you a "sleeping incel beauty" awaiting a prince(ss?) Charming to kiss you and awaken you from your slumber?

    Pretty sure you have made the statement that the kid isnt yours more than once

    I dont care if I smash or not, Im all about having enough assets and cash to retire early
  12. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by cigreting Pretty sure you have made the statement that the kid isnt yours more than once

    I dont care if I smash or not, Im all about having enough assets and cash to retire early

    You're a simple immature retard. I have two children that are biologically mine and my baby mom has a kid that is not biologically mine but calls me dad

    Are you saying you have gone so long without sex you no longer have the same biological urges as everyone else? Why not cut it off then? Are you really incapable of having sex without depleting all your assets? That sounds like a very specific personal problem you have that is far from the norm.

    Is that really the bullshit rhetoric you tell yourself when you see a happy man getting affection from a woman : "I'm gonna retire before he does and THEN I'll really be living"

    Come on, kid nobody buys that shit, least of all yourself. If you wanna be a lifelong loser, it seems you have made that choice or rather, the choice was made for you. I just want you to know that it's never too late to be less of a little bitch. Maybe consider practicing talking to women with your cousin or mother or something to better prepare you.

    If you just wanna give up then that's your prerogative but you certainly cannot ever claim to be anything more than a terrified subhuman little bitch. The choice is yours fraidy cat
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  13. Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by Sudo You're a simple immature retard. I have two children that are biologically mine and my baby mom has a kid that is not biologically mine but calls me dad

    Are you saying you have gone so long without sex you no longer have the same biological urges as everyone else? Why not cut it off then? Are you really incapable of having sex without depleting all your assets? That sounds like a very specific personal problem you have that is far from the norm.

    Is that really the bullshit rhetoric you tell yourself when you see a happy man getting affection from a woman : "I'm gonna retire before he does and THEN I'll really be living"

    Come on, kid nobody buys that shit, least of all yourself. If you wanna be a lifelong loser, it seems you have made that choice or rather, the choice was made for you. I just want you to know that it's never too late to be less of a little bitch. Maybe consider practicing talking to women with your cousin or mother or something to better prepare you.

    If you just wanna give up then that's your prerogative but you certainly cannot ever claim to be anything more than a terrified subhuman little bitch. The choice is yours fraidy cat

    Whatever he's doing he's doing it with ten fingers.
  14. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker Whatever he's doing he's doing it with ten fingers.

    What? Why doesn't he have any thumbs?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  15. cigreting Dark Matter
    Originally posted by Sudo You're a simple immature retard. I have two children that are biologically mine and my baby mom has a kid that is not biologically mine but calls me dad

    Are you saying you have gone so long without sex you no longer have the same biological urges as everyone else? Why not cut it off then? Are you really incapable of having sex without depleting all your assets? That sounds like a very specific personal problem you have that is far from the norm.

    Is that really the bullshit rhetoric you tell yourself when you see a happy man getting affection from a woman : "I'm gonna retire before he does and THEN I'll really be living"

    Come on, kid nobody buys that shit, least of all yourself. If you wanna be a lifelong loser, it seems you have made that choice or rather, the choice was made for you. I just want you to know that it's never too late to be less of a little bitch. Maybe consider practicing talking to women with your cousin or mother or something to better prepare you.

    If you just wanna give up then that's your prerogative but you certainly cannot ever claim to be anything more than a terrified subhuman little bitch. The choice is yours fraidy cat

    tl;dr im sure another butthurt tangent πŸ˜‚
  16. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by cigreting tl;dr im sure another butthurt tangent πŸ˜‚

    lol you got rekt son I wouldn't read it either if I were you
  17. Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by Sudo What? Why doesn't he have any thumbs?

    Ten fingers does not equal no thumbs Captain Literally.
  18. AngryOnion Big Wig [the nightly self-effacing broadsheet]
    So the guy likes young woman what's the big deal.
    Once they pass the expiration date it's time to move on to other fertile fields.
    Nothing like the smell and taste of fresh PUSSY!
  19. Haxxor Space Nigga
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker Ten fingers does not equal no thumbs Captain Literally.

    It’s a joke

  20. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by cigreting tl;dr im sure another butthurt tangent πŸ˜‚

    Right πŸ™„ textbook cowardly behavior
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