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Dirtiest thing your dick has ever been in?

  1. #1
    When I was 20 I went to someone's 21st party and fucked this fat girl in the ass in the birthday boy's sister's room. We were both really drunk and didn't have any lube, so we used some of his sister's fancy looking lotion. I remember this girl's ass smelling like hell too, but my dick was already out and she was rubbing strawberry vanilla smelling cream into it so I had to add my cream to the bunch.

    I honestly feel a little nauseous thinking about this. I'll always remember the bit of shit that was pushed up on the base of my shaft after I pulled out and cleaned up in the bathroom. She was so fucking ugly too, had a face like a dinner plate. Probably at least 300lbs if not more.

    Anyway, your turnz
  2. #2
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    i fucked a jedi chick a few days ago and she had hairy legs and had a bad personality



    and I also fucked ted cruz's daughter sandy cruz (my neighbor), and she's defintely dirty







    Post last edited by Bill Krozby at 2017-02-08T09:14:46.570733+00:00
  3. #3
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    *sigh* The tyranny of biological desires is absolutely revolting and something that must be surpassed as soon as possible. I'm in my mid 20s and have genuinely never so much as held hands. nor have I wanted to. I see no end in sight to this and have no plans to deviate from my path.

    You have to admit, it's somewhat remarkable, or grotesque (both are equally valid interpretations of reality) to make it this far without deviation, existing in near total physical isolation (There's no real intimacy on this site. It doesn't even come close and you know it. Grok what it means to have this be the limit, as close as others get.). It genuinely does seem absolutely distasteful, the only possibly exception being when it's the one you truly love. I'm certain casual sex would be an enormous mistake for me that would do far more harm than good (Dependant on an understanding of myself that is far more in depth than I wish to share and anyone could hope to attain.).
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  4. #4
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    ^well despite you being a huge cock sucker thats pretty admirable you know yourself that much, more power to you bruddah. You do you boo.

    I'm 29 and within the last year I've slowed down on having sex and I was starting to wonder if there is something fundamentally wrong with me that is causing this.

    Friday night a girl came to my door later than she said she would be here and I gave up on her coming when she came I didn't answer the door I just text her telling her I'm busy and she text me asking if she can come tomorrow and I told her she should probably delete my number

    I wake up extremely horny these days almost like I'm *mind controlled* and its really weird, ill get up and take some benadryl and melotonin just so I can go back to sleep

    I think women are inherently precious, but a lot go out of their way to act classes and foul in the name of feminism. And you can tell the ones that plague themselves. It's very obvious, and its a very common thing amoungst younger women.

    I dated a girl ten years older than me for a while and she was one of the most beautiful girls I've ever been with, she had the spite in her heart that comes with a woman but it was very watered down and I was just down right amazed about how well she treated me and tried to understand me.

    I know other people that know her and they can confirm not only was she a good girl, but she was a solid person.



    Post last edited by Bill Krozby at 2017-02-08T10:06:04.802825+00:00
  5. #5
    lol @ taking benedryl and melatonin. You should just stick to the melatonin for a while and fix yourself. I'm 99% sure Benedryl doesn't do your melatonin levels any favors.

    Also lol @ the rest of your post
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  6. #6
    Originally posted by Malice I'm in my mid 20s and have genuinely never so much as held hands. nor have I wanted to. I see no end in sight to this and have no plans to deviate from my path.

    Also 99% sure I've seen you complain on zoklet about being alone, so don't pretend nigga.
  7. #7
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by Discount Whore lol @ taking benedryl and melatonin. You should just stick to the melatonin for a while and fix yourself. I'm 99% sure Benedryl doesn't do your melatonin levels any favors.

    Also lol @ the rest of your post

    im a benadrylstein

    and actually they say melotonin is bad for you if you take it continuously
  8. #8
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by Discount Whore Also 99% sure I've seen you complain on zoklet about being alone, so don't pretend nigga.


    girls dont know a true supreme gentleman when they see one.
    \

  9. #9
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Discount Whore Also 99% sure I've seen you complain on zoklet about being alone, so don't pretend nigga.

    Oh, hmm, yeah, I suppose I can't deny an idealized desire, just a crude standard biological one.

    I mean, just look at her.



    Wouldn't you want to omnomnom on those loli feet? She's actually a 500 year old vampire, so I swear it's OK! I'm not the least bit concerned, in superior Nippon the age of consent is only 12! What man could resist that?!

    I swear to god the monogatari series turned me into a lolicon! And I also swear this exact same scenario played out before, quite possibly before Zoklet shut down. In either cause you both turned to be pathetically cowardly, being unaware of what you were getting into. Hmph!

    Post last edited by Malice at 2017-02-08T10:48:43.238388+00:00

    Post last edited by Malice at 2017-02-08T10:48:56.442493+00:00
  10. #10
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by Malice Oh, hmm, yeah, I suppose I can't deny an idealized desire, just a crude standard biological one.

    I mean, just look at her.



    Wouldn't you want to omnomnom on those loli feet? She's actually a 500 year old vampire, so I swear it's OK! I'm not the least bit concerned, in superior Nippon the age of consent is only 12! What man could resist that?!

    I swear to god the monogatari series turned me into a lolicon! And I also swear this exact same scenario played out before, quite possibly before Zoklet shut down. In either cause you both turned to be pathetically cowardly, being unaware of what you were getting into. Hmph!

    Post last edited by Malice at 2017-02-08T10:48:43.238388+00:00

    Post last edited by Malice at 2017-02-08T10:48:56.442493+00:00

    Sorry bud but this is your most authenticly autistico post yet
  11. #11
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    For context, you have fucked grown male buttholes as well, correct?
  12. #12
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK!!!!


    For those of you unaware SHAFT is one of the highest, if not the highest animation companies in Japan.

    Oh god I want Shinobu ti step on me and kick/stomp me!
  13. #13
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by Malice FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK!!!!


    For those of you unaware SHAFT is one of the highest, if not the highest animation companies in Japan.

    Oh god I want Shinobu ti step on me and kick/stomp me!

    That's pretty cucked of you
  14. #14
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Discount Whore lol @ taking benedryl and melatonin. You should just stick to the melatonin for a while and fix yourself. I'm 99% sure Benedryl doesn't do your melatonin levels any favors.

    Also lol @ the rest of your post

    I've never taken beedrill. Aww fuck, I;m genuinely too drunk to prtoprly rspomjnd to ths. skeeoppppp,//,m//,mb.//.......................
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  15. #15
    My ex kinda smelled bad compared to the other chicks I've shagged, bled quite often and she'd never go to the bathroom to clean herself up after dumping my seed in her, she'd just leave it there for hours.

    I'm guna say her. I really should have got an STD test
  16. #16
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Reminds me of a joke I heard. Well, rather a small bit of humor:

    What do the French say when their women are on their menarche?

    "The English are coming!"

    Why?

    Because they're bloody cunts!!!
  17. #17
    Your mother.

    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  18. #18
    *You're dumbass
  19. #19
    Originally posted by RisiR Your mother.

    Shame on everyone who has posted in this thread before me.

    Yea, spontanous anal sex can get pretty nasty.



  20. #20
    Probably an asshole.
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