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Poll: Belly farts

Did your mom ever blow farts on you belly?

  1. #1
    Donald Trump Naturally Camouflaged
    This:

    In Kyiv recently everytime I blew farts into groceries belly (puzata) she would laugh. I asked about it, apparently her mom never never did this with her. That's so sad. She's like an adorable baby at times, like a mean, cranky, sleep deprived baby at others.

    She thinks she lost weight recently. In reality her belly is bigger than it has ever been and all her ketogenic diet had given her is a big hemorrhoid.
  2. #2
    most moms dont blow farts onto their son.

    or anything for that matter.
  3. #3
    Sudo Dark Matter [my hereto riemannian peach]
    My mom did and we called them zorbits which is the English translation of zerbert I guess. Also raspberries
  4. #4
    No but Uncle Eric used to blow farts on my penis.
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  5. #5
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson No but Uncle Eric used to blow farts on my penis.

    im sure there were more than just farts.
  6. #6
    Bradley Naturally Camouflaged
    Still does, I hate when she does infront of my friends or liek my girlfriend for the first time. Then I go home and do it to my friend or girlfriend until they accept it. I thought jedis and Pedophiles were the only people who didn't go Yackin as a tribe?
  7. #7
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    raspberries

    and I think so
  8. #8
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    what even is a 'ketogenic diet'?

    by definition I would expect it means one that induces ketosis, that is to eat at intervals of over 18 hours or something so that your body goes into ketosis (starvation mode) and consumes fat instead of muscle.

    but if that was all there is to it, it wouldn't matter what you eat - the only important thing is the interval.
  9. #9
    Bradley Naturally Camouflaged
    it's a bunch of bullshit theories, there's too many vairables to even try to create a 'diet' that all people could follow

    but it sells and gets fat bitches motivated to overeat other foods while feeling like they're contributing to their health , even if the results aren't overnightguys
  10. #10
    Originally posted by aldra what even is a 'ketogenic diet'?

    by definition I would expect it means one that induces ketosis, that is to eat at intervals of over 18 hours or something so that your body goes into ketosis (starvation mode) and consumes fat instead of muscle.

    but if that was all there is to it, it wouldn't matter what you eat - the only important thing is the interval.

    meth is literally keto
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  11. #11
    Donald Trump Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by aldra what even is a 'ketogenic diet'?

    by definition I would expect it means one that induces ketosis, that is to eat at intervals of over 18 hours or something so that your body goes into ketosis (starvation mode) and consumes fat instead of muscle.

    but if that was all there is to it, it wouldn't matter what you eat - the only important thing is the interval.

    It means a very low carbohydrate diet, so that your body starts breaking down fats to produce energy. Usually your body more or less burns sugars for energy. Keto is an alternative metabolic state.

    The eating every 18hours thing is intermittent fasting, and it works great, but it's not full keto.

    You need a lot of discipline to do keto. When trying keto first people usually get flu like symptoms for about 2 weeks to a month. People who try to do keto typically fuck up by not cutting enough carbs out, having cheat meals, and also by giving up after a few days. Just about no one can maintain keto long term.

  12. #12
    Originally posted by Donald Trump It means a very low carbohydrate diet, so that your body starts breaking down fats to produce energy. Usually your body more or less burns sugars for energy. Keto is an alternative metabolic state.

    The eating every 18hours thing is intermittent fasting, and it works great, but it's not full keto.

    You need a lot of discipline to do keto. When trying keto first people usually get flu like symptoms for about 2 weeks to a month. People who try to do keto typically fuck up by not cutting enough carbs out, having cheat meals, and also by giving up after a few days. Just about no one can maintain keto long term.


    i can never get my body into keto mode. like its actually smart enough to know breaking down the muscles produces more energy than breaking down fats.

    everytime after i ketoed i can feel my muscles have shrunked.
  13. #13
    Donald Trump Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny i can never get my body into keto mode. like its actually smart enough to know breaking down the muscles produces more energy than breaking down fats.

    everytime after i ketoed i can feel my muscles have shrunked.

    That's just the glycogen being preferentially consumed, it's basically just sugar kept in your muscles for immediate energy needs. You will feel like crap as your muscles adapt to burn ketones instead.

    Actual muscle loss is an issue during any weightloss, to prevent body protein being consumed keep protein intake high.
  14. #14
    Originally posted by Donald Trump That's just the glycogen being preferentially consumed, it's basically just sugar kept in your muscles for immediate energy needs. You will feel like crap as your muscles adapt to burn ketones instead.

    Actual muscle loss is an issue during any weightloss, to prevent body protein being consumed keep protein intake high.

    high protein intake without hard work would just be a waste tho, muscles dont get made by lying on the couch.
  15. #15
    Donald Trump Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny high protein intake without hard work would just be a waste tho, muscles dont get made by lying on the couch.

    A big part of getting fit is eating more protein and figuring out where to get cheap protein - eg. eggs, whey protein, chicken breast.
  16. #16
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny i can never get my body into keto mode. like its actually smart enough to know breaking down the muscles produces more energy than breaking down fats.

    everytime after i ketoed i can feel my muscles have shrunked.

    You have no muscles
  17. #17
    POLECAT POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret [my presentably immunised ammonification]
    no but ur mom did last night
  18. #18
    Bradley Naturally Camouflaged
    I eat about 1500 calories a day, sometimes 3500 if i am eating at a restaurant or buffet

    Until about 16 or 17 days ago, I was drinking 8-12 tall boys of steel reserve 211, hurricane malt liquor, or if i was feeling fancy, natty ice. eitherway, it's about 400 calories a can. So for like the last two years i've been consuming upwards of 4,000 calories a day in just fermented high gravity ale. Fuck writing this makes me honestly wanna go get a tall boy haha,

    So I supplemented my diet with intermittent bursts of crystal meth (about a .5-1g in a sitting over 3 days), haha, and i didn't eat anything more than i normally did but iam smoking a lot more weed than i was before, about 2-3grammes a day.

    Yesterday:
    2 pop tarts
    1 banana
    1 slice of bread with peanut butter
    4 cups of green tea
    3/4 gallon of water
    2 hard boiled eggs

    I've lost about 10pounds in thelast two weeks and if jail is still jail i'll probably be about 170-175 when i get out (1885 rght now)

    I got an apartment when i get out in a different town two hours a way and my boy is giving me his cadillac, i'm gonna be in really good shape, and I can't wait to go holler at that black girl in the navy and move away.
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  19. #19
    Bradley Naturally Camouflaged
    for reference i am 6'1, and am a 28 year old White poplar tree.



    I am unsuitable for furniture or building materiel, however I excel in the pulp paper industry and forest fires.
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  20. #20
    Sudo Dark Matter [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Can you weave baskets?
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