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Slaynk locked himself in his car...
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2022-02-11 at 5:11 PM UTC
Originally posted by Lucrimosa Help me pancake, I'm chained to the seat and I'm about to throw my phone in the front seat
Ok yea and i'm turning siri an my fone off
He is 212 miles round trip for me to go take a lolzy video and get him out.
I only get 16 miles to the gallon so I would need 13.25 gallons of gas and it is running right around $3.30 a gallon.
If anyone wants to paypal me $44 I'll go and let him out of his car.
If not he freezes to death and that's on you.
https://paypal.me/Fonaplats?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US
All proceeds will go toward gas and good times.
(Paypal wouldn't let me create a fundraiser to get a black man out of chains)The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2022-02-11 at 5:37 PM UTCI wonder how long until he pisses himself...
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2022-02-11 at 6:16 PM UTCIm seriously getting a little worried about him.
This whole thing is stupid as fuck.
I can only imagine the police and fire department standing around scratching their heads while Kellen tries to explain why he is chained to the backseat of his car while his phone and keys are laying up front on his floorboard.
EMT: "Sir, what the hell are you doing."
Kellen: "I'm going to Florida."
EMT: "Why are you chained up in your backseat?"
Kellen: "God wants Candyrein and me to get tans."
EMT: "Sir, what's in the briefcase?"
Kellen: "A bomb." -
2022-02-11 at 6:23 PM UTCThat video just made me feel 10x better about my life.
I will pay you $44 NOT to go save him. -
2022-02-11 at 6:28 PM UTC
Originally posted by mmQ That video just made me feel 10x better about my life.
I will pay you $44 NOT to go save him.
I re-watched the video and saw at least 2 possible future piss jugs.
What I didn't see was anything to eat or drink.
Also, the way he is positioned I doubt he can even zip up his coat.
Right now it is in the mid forties outside but tonight it will be in the twenties and anyone who has ever slept in a car knows how terribly uncomfortable it gets with the windows rolled up and all the condensation from just breathing.
He will have a really shitty night if he stays there.
I'm unsure of if he will scream out for help and something tells me he would rather not go to the psych ward again and that is probably what would happen.
Imagine some random guy yelling at you through his rolled up car window for your attention and then trying to explain this situation in hopes of getting you to help him.
I don't know about you guys but I would probably just call the cops and walk away. -
2022-02-11 at 6:30 PM UTCI think that's what most people would do and I think that's probably what will end up happening. Police deal with some weird shit. As unusual as this is I'm sure they've seen similar events. He'll be fine.
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2022-02-11 at 6:40 PM UTCOn one hand I do want to go help him but it's a long drive and I won't even be able to stay and kick it with him.
On the other hand I don't want to call the police to help.
For whatever reason I feel like I need to do something though.
Maybe I'll just call and get a pizza delivered and add in the instructions to deliver it to the silver Scion XB and please help my buddy out of his handcuffs and chains. (keys are on the front seat). And then leave a decent tip. -
2022-02-11 at 6:44 PM UTCI tried calling him again and still no answer.
Fuck my dick, I guess I'll call in a welfare check. -
2022-02-11 at 6:58 PM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2022-02-11 at 7:11 PM UTCYou could have smoked him out.
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2022-02-11 at 7:20 PM UTCThe police called me back.
They found him locked in chains in his backseat but he told them he was fine and asked them to go away...
Here is the audio recording of the police calling me back.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/156qbf780r8AqwH_b9UYD6CJ1fWX35TOu/view?usp=sharing
FFS I am dumbfounded right now.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2022-02-11 at 7:23 PM UTCThe author of this post has returned to nothingnessThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2022-02-11 at 7:45 PM UTCI don't know but this is all very intriguing to me. Thanks for documenting all of it.
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2022-02-11 at 7:47 PM UTCIt's not illegal to chain yourself up in your back seat.
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2022-02-12 at 3:29 AM UTCI guess he must have broken free. Lame and anticlimactic.
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2022-02-12 at 4:08 AM UTCI guess I won't make a very good police officer.
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2022-02-12 at 4:09 AM UTCI can't even lock myself up
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2022-02-12 at 4:15 AM UTCIf you killed yourself cly, Fona would have been bummed out for years.
You two have to live for each other because your both are only half responsible as you should be..together u make a whole person.
Now kiss and I shall declare you both wedded bromosThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2022-02-12 at 3:24 PM UTCMaybe he's a werewolf and has no choice.
