As an Aries born rep, alot of things in my life are "dopaminergic" and volatile, heart's a dynamo and things are tart. I grew up in a small village of 40 people. I would walk up the hollow after getting off of a long bus ride. Sometimes I would meander and mosey up the hill dragging my feet like skis up through the woods. I'd stop here and there throwing rocks into the creek. I loved walking up the road in the early fall afternoon, pondering my environment, so rich in variety. Hope I don't get attacked by a pack of wild dogs, yikes!
I would come into the house and settle down to a bowl of ramen noodles for dinner, play outside in the field, or progue the belongings of my family living in the house. Grandma always scorned me for meddling. I would sit down in my advanced childhood ~3rd grade and play my dreamcast in the backroom. I remember playing Rainbow six and sonic adventure.
Anyway, my Grandma transient... It's like I never knew when or if she was there. Terra was beautiful, and it always had hidden treasures. Anyway... Grandma busy a lot with work or bible study. Great-grandfather was always tinkering. Great-aunt Joyce, always pondering upon THE LORD. God love 'em.
Even though I had and still do 3 brothers, a lot of times was spent alone. That's just life in the country. We didn't have tv, except an antenna. I always knew not to be climbing the antenna rax. Anyway. I watched a lot of VHS tapes... Idrc where we got them all. But the love was always there.
When Grandma'd make supper, it was always acceptable. Joyce'd help and Great-Grandpa'd always sit in his chair at the top of the table 🙄 and I always sat beside Joyce and Grandma sat across from us. Easy living.
Sometimes I'd sit at the big table and receive my daily bread in peace, then meddle in the cabinets. Terra was God's greatest gift 🤗
My sixth birthday party, my family got me a bb gun to peepewdiepie the land up with. I remember shooting up the birdfeeder and it leaked all the nectar out 🙁
I did all sorts of nonsense, like the time I emptied an aerosol can into the door knob hole of my Dad's closet. I got busted for that. The hill had it's own way of punishing nonsense.
I guess all that alone time had it's own form of detriment on my mind in a form fashion of if and or other in retrospect. I remember playing rainbow six and joixing out at the hostage stages. Much fear was induced by the dark deep music amalgamated by stages of worry that an enemy would be raxing me. This is all hindsight.
Every time a car would come up the hill I'd run, as if it were the ku klux klan coming to shoot us up. Of course, now I have not such fears, as I know I am seen of and read by all men. Of course, in the woods were the coyotes and the occasional Bear.
When you're walking in the woods, you are always looking... Because it's pleasant. Even in the rain. Listen to birds. Birds always singing. When they stop singing, you know a presence is near. I'd always listen for cracking branches.
That presence, the hair on the back of your neck or the peach fuzz on your high forehead will stand up.
I remember I would go into the woods when I was in the second half of my third grade year and pal around with Jordan, neighbor cross the ridge. I was never scared with him and his pellet gun. Always in the crick shooting frogs.
Hypnotoad always alluring ❤️
But yea... being alone grows on ya.
I was sitting outside on the rocking bench one evening... I sit down, I must of fell asleep. Next thing I knew, everybody was gone. Foggy, late summers evening. Woke up all I remember was an eery whip-poor-will. I felt so alone.
I would spend time in the house with family sometimes... Folks always had their own gig, seems like. Even I liked the back porch. Like when that time I took a blanket a chair and the .22 rifle and hunted squirrels out the window. There was three squirrels two of which I killed. Bothers me to this day I don't know the sexes of the party... Philosophical build up.
Anyway... The house was home.
There was a painting my Grandma had on the wall in the hall. Like a pedophile's dream of a young Scarlett O' Hara. Beautiful picture. Now I lay me down to sleep.
I was in my Daddy's bedroom up stairs playing dreamcast, playing Sonic Adventure and my buddy Scooter came with his mom. My mom was at the house and she told them I was in the woods playing with Jordan. I slept through an entire hangout.
All alone.
