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Why don't we breed primates?

  1. #1
    Obbe Alan What? [annoy my right-angled speediness]
    The same way we did with wolves?

    We took wolves and through generations of artificial selection made all these varieties of dogs.

    Imagine what we could do with chimps and monkeys and gorillas.
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  2. #2
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    There's probably an app for that.

    Is there anything to be gained by doing so?
  3. #3
    we should create a cyborg-monkey hybrid race of super chimps and teach them to use firearms so we can overthrow governments

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  4. #4
    Bradley Black Hole
    I know that a lot of research goes into studying the vaccines and drugs with apes that are clinically breed for the purpose.
  5. #5
    Aleister Crowley African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Obbe The same way we did with wolves?

    We took wolves and through generations of artificial selection made all these varieties of dogs.

    Imagine what we could do with chimps and monkeys and gorillas.

    Only chimps and Bonobos can interbreed, all other primates are not related closely enough along with their chromosomes.
  6. #6
    maddie Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by Aleister Crowley Only chimps and Bonobos can interbreed, all other primates are not related closely enough along with their chromosomes.

    not really what they were saying.. as wolves were able to interbreed, and throughout human selection we created different breeds / looks of dogs..

    so they are saying why we cannot do this with chimps, monkeys and gorillas, as not breed them together, but breed primates as a collective with their own species to create primates based on human interests.
  7. #7
    AngryOnion Big Wig [the nightly self-effacing broadsheet]
    This thread is quality troll material.
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  8. #8
    Obbe Alan What? [annoy my right-angled speediness]
    Originally posted by Aleister Crowley Only chimps and Bonobos can interbreed, all other primates are not related closely enough along with their chromosomes.

    I'm not talking about interbreeding, artificial selection, so we could make like miniature people that can maybe sort of talk and do menial tasks and hopefully don't overthrow us.
  9. #9
    Originally posted by AngryOnion This thread is quality troll material.

    I started with a response but stopped because I felt guilty about such an obvious troll
  10. #10
    Number13 African Astronaut [dispute my snotty-nosed seagull]
    We tried it already, they ended up being pretty good at cotton picking.
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  11. #11
    Someone lacked the restraint that I showed.
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  12. #12
    maddie Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by Number13 We tried it already, they ended up being pretty good at cotton picking.

    then transitioned to writing posts and threads on a certain website i heard.
  13. #13
    Obbe Alan What? [annoy my right-angled speediness]
    Originally posted by mmQ Is there anything to be gained by doing so?

    Yeah, probably all the same things we gained from all the other animals we domesticated, except this would be even better cause they have thumbs and some even have the same vocal structures we do.
  14. #14
    Aleister Crowley African Astronaut
    Originally posted by maddie not really what they were saying.. as wolves were able to interbreed, and throughout human selection we created different breeds / looks of dogs..

    so they are saying why we cannot do this with chimps, monkeys and gorillas, as not breed them together, but breed primates as a collective with their own species to create primates based on human interests.

    WTF?
  15. #15
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by Obbe Yeah, probably all the same things we gained from all the other animals we domesticated, except this would be even better cause they have thumbs and some even have the same vocal structures we do.

    Like having a bunch of people want a cute new primate and then abandoning or neglecting them. They aren't gonna be able to do anything we cant already do so if they have some specialties, we could hyper-domesticate those in a lab to make their unique ability into superpower levels, but otherwise I say we should leave them be.
  16. #16
    Originally posted by mmQ Like having a bunch of people want a cute new primate and then abandoning or neglecting them.

    Like this young-fella-me-lad?

  17. #17
    Obbe Alan What? [annoy my right-angled speediness]
    Originally posted by mmQ Like having a bunch of people want a cute new primate and then abandoning or neglecting them. They aren't gonna be able to do anything we cant already do so if they have some specialties, we could hyper-domesticate those in a lab to make their unique ability into superpower levels, but otherwise I say we should leave them be.

    Why would they need to be our pets? I mean, if we breed them right, couldn't they be their own people? They wouldn't abandon or neglect their own kind, that would be inhumane. Why do they have to have superpowers or special abilities to have a right to exist? That's a little racist.
  18. #18
    Obbe Alan What? [annoy my right-angled speediness]
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  19. #19
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by Obbe Why would they need to be our pets? I mean, if we breed them right, couldn't they be their own people? They wouldn't abandon or neglect their own kind, that would be inhumane. Why do they have to have superpowers or special abilities to have a right to exist? That's a little racist.

    They already are there own people, no? If we're not doing it to enhance their skills or have them as pets, what would be different than it is now? Do you mean like you just want chimps and apes walking around in town and you seem them in stores and amusement parks and stuff? Would they use our currency? Do you just wanna make a whole bunch more than there already are? I don't even really know what it means to domesticate something so I'm just hazarding guesses based off of my guesses and loose understanding.
  20. #20
    Obbe Alan What? [annoy my right-angled speediness]
    Originally posted by mmQ They already are there own people, no? If we're not doing it to enhance their skills or have them as pets, what would be different than it is now? Do you mean like you just want chimps and apes walking around in town and you seem them in stores and amusement parks and stuff? Would they use our currency? Do you just wanna make a whole bunch more than there already are? I don't even really know what it means to domesticate something so I'm just hazarding guesses based off of my guesses and loose understanding.

    Just imagine the possibilities - nearly endless!

    Why bother trying to create "AI" when we could just create "I" with what we have readily available?

    Nature couldn't get it right, just look at the state of humanity these days... maybe this could be our opportunity to create what nature could not, the perfect being.
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