2021-09-04 at 4:56 PM UTC
AUSTIN, TX—In a milestone victory for the anti-abortion movement, Texas governor Greg Abbott signed a new law this week that would offer private citizens $10,000 for the names of anyone they heard was a slut. “Maybe her pants are too tight, maybe she looks like she’s having a little too much fun at the bar. It doesn’t matter if she’s ‘a huge skank’ or a bit of a ‘ho’—we promise that you will be handsomely rewarded for whatever information you have.” At press time, Abbott added that the state was also asking for the names of any complicit friends, family members, and fashion retailers.
