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Scavenging household goods in order to reduce bills & expenses for yourself as an individual on low or reduced or non existant income.

  1. #1
    Bradley African Astronaut
    I'm sure a lot of you know this, buy unless you're good at stealing which most of us aren't, shit costs money.

    And not a little bit of money, I can see why most of you n ever leave the nest when your mom keeps feeding you well into your 30s.

    Some have accused me off this sin, hoping to discredit your boy, but i will have all of you know, my mom does not like faggots, homosexuals, queers, or transgender people at all. And for that reason, she will not welcome an AIDS HAVING COCK SUCKIN QUEER TRANNY LOVER HOMO into her home except for 1-2 visits a week.

    Can't make that up folks, and bless her heart, cuz much like your mom's regret over passing up on that abortion your dad offered her eight times in as many months, we all have our right to our opinions (Unless you're a child, then it's your parents obv)

    Just took a shower feelin pretty fresh, might go tot he gas station, back on topic:

    Gas station got that shitty handsoap, pass on this unless you need it, you wanna end up with that dial by the time were done. Now i will say this, the gas station often has a cuppoard that will have like that poo poo spray stuff (grab that if it's ove rhalf full). The biggest money maker you wanna get is toilet paper, not gonna lie, windex and clorox and shit that's all great, but if you were a clean nigga or a nigga that cleaned, you wouldn't be stealing toilet paper.

    You! Should! Never buy a roll of toilet paper again! If you follow! these steps!

    Take a backpack with you everywhere you go, you know them brown paper towels, they're not great, but they WORK, and that's the most important thing to me at least in an item i'm gonna steal not steal but lift cuz it's free if you shitting, while steal it while you got your pants down, not theft.

    all that soap and shit we're gonan grab and the cleaners, and if they got ANYTHING ANYTHIN new in the package my nigga, grab that up. Swear to god, do you got money for air fresheners? Do you got a cat? You got a nigga in your life that's car smell like shit?

    Grab it. Don't take the plu nger, no mattewr how tweaked you get, stealing the plunger is a fucked up thing for your bag to have in it, no one' sgonna wanna buy it, youa lready got 1 (or 4 from stealing them and hotels and shit) , you don't need more, same thing for that weird little brush thing, fuck that brush (see: Your dirty ass aint gonna clean shit part above)

    alright my nigga, load that backpack, go buy you a pack of steel reserves and ap ack of newports, that
    'll be approximately 9.95, peep that penny dish are there any silver my nigga?

    Grab that silver! AFter you do this a couple timse they will expect you to do this and welcome your actions.

    Ask that nigga "Hey you guys give out packs of matches? Can I get two? Thanks"

    walk over to the mountain fountain sodas and get a cup, don't get a paperone, them bitches break down, grab you a fatass plastic cup,

    "Thanks!" as your wallking out the door.

    Now take your bumass to the library, we're getting computer paper next.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. #2
    Bradley African Astronaut
    brown paper towels & the soap dispenser are opened witha plastic WWWWWWWW shaped key about an inch long, with any pocket knife you can just jam that part down and with pulling towards you the shell will open, i typipcally leave nothing inside of the shell after i hit this lick, but if you have 1 gas station in your amish town u may need to treat them nicer, at which point, roll it up as fast as you can, or have a seperate resivor (Such as a bottle dumb nigga) that you can put liquid soap in there.

    then pink things are cool too cuz if u piss in one spot in your basement, room, yard or evven basement sink/drain, you can put that pink thing thereand it'll havve a similar affect as it does in making the quiktrip bathroom smelll o so o so fresh

    see if that mirror pop off while u at it, fuck it
  3. #3
    Bradley African Astronaut
    Avoid public bathrooms of bigger stores because they're gonana think your shoplifting

    fortunately most stores have to have a tranny one now, so i just step in that one, tell them you aint got a dick if they stop you

    some of you look like it for real faggot ass mufuckas

    while you're doin gthis, if anyone stops you, make sexual advances to them but beprepared to follow through, if they're female, make sexual advances to them but you don't have to follow through if you get uncomfortable around women or w/e ur bitch nigga excuse is on why you moved halfway accross the world to fuck HTS and are trying to keep that nasty fat trap boypussy all to your lil rat face mufucka

    do you have a library card? Well i hope your dumbufuckin ass has somebodies ID, i'll meet you there in part 4
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  4. #4
    Robert Mugabe African Astronaut
    No
  5. #5
    Bradley African Astronaut
    --intermission bonus part--

    Stuff you can find while walking around:

    Are you 18, 21? Buy Cigarettes or Alcohol for young adults that can't otherwise access. Be Cool, Dude! You remember saying that to older men tyo get them to buy alcohol for you ande your little sister hwen you slept over

    This is the same except no sex shit

    But i got a humdinger, first time u do it tell them lil bitches you want them to buy you the same item(s)

    well ffuck man they're gonna have to hand you more than 20$

    when they give you the money, you're an adult drug addict whose been around the retard block, copy whatever worked on you to hustle your money back in the day

    Think i only be robbin mufuckas? I came up gettin robbed till i learned how to swim goofy niga

    Go watch snow on tha bluff & Gang Tapes, that'll teach you how a thug do it and shit pussy nigga

    my fav technique is I tell them to wait 1-2 blocks away, and after they give ,me the money, I bike away (I used to dot hi when I was several years younger, heavily drinking and on a bicycle) as soon as they'd get 50 feet away they turn around and watch me bike to the gas station, bitch nigga, im goin in for steel reserve and something ! to ! eat! now when u leave, you gotta look dead ass at em and goo

    AHHHHHHHHHHH BITCH NIGGA! NIGGASIN.SPACE TYPE IT IN LIKE A WEBSITE, FREE SAMPLES OF DRUGS

    and then bike as fast as you can, fortunately, children on bmx bikes & skateboards & foot won't be able to keep up with a 6'1 gigantic sasquatch on his mom's 10 speed my nigga

    You just got neough alcohol and cigarettes for 2 days, you fuckin come upper you.
  6. #6
    Bradley African Astronaut
    walk into thelibrary, when you walk in theres often a table and shit right there, peep what's on it, a lotta times it's tax stuff, fuck all that, if there's any blank envelopes, grab about 30 of them, do you mom mail in the power bill? Well this aint a stamp nigga, but it's a free Nvelope (or 90 if you live ina major metropolitan area)

    I live in a nice town, so when i walk into my local library, I see some free covid masks. LIke the good blue ones, sign that says "Please wear a mask" alright good lookin nigga, grab like 10 of them, put them in your bag infront of dude, say you need them. They don't pay for shit, it's a fuckin library and this nigga lookin at you that work there is gonna be old (wants you to wear a mask), a bitch (also wants you to wear a mask), smaller than you (Fuck what they want, we innnn this library)

    Sign up for a library card, if they don't ask for your ID give them your exact correct name and full information for no reason

    if they do want your card, you will have to give them the information correctly unless u know something i don't space nigger

    if youor black tell them you don't have one, mexican or latino? (Like actually, not a half something non w hite pereson like Bill Krozby) tell them you're illegal and want to be educated, find a piece of amail on the ground, idk i've only ever been a discirminated against white person whoseo expected to have a social security number even if joe biden is president

    we may discuss how books can be got, but im asusming you're a stupid naggar rwho doesn't know many higher intellectualians at least non that want a book, so if u want ta book, rent one, they have music, it's not gonna be great, but you can copy it onto your computer (????) just a thought, same thing qiwth DVDs.

    I have to get ready for my date so I will post more but we're gonna take a break after u just got into the library and got your free 200 envelopes & 10 covid masks.
  7. #7
    Bradley African Astronaut
    This is the content that brings people to our site dumbfucks, people need guides they can improve their life with. Please help by adding ideas, constructively (!) criticizing mine.

    No just straight up haters saying i suck cock for toilet paper
  8. #8
    Solstice African Astronaut
    I scavenge my neighbor's appliances while they are at work
  9. #9
    Data African Astronaut
    good advice itt
  10. #10
    Sudo Naturally Camouflaged [my hereto riemannian peach]
    I respect your hustle but if I was that poor I would scheme way harder and more evil. I very much respect that you're not really being a piece of shit at all. If I was that poor I would 100% be kicking down doors and in everyone else's pocket.

    You're a tribute to your community
  11. #11
    Bradley African Astronaut
    thaks that's what i tell em at sentencing too
  12. #12
    cigreting Space Nigga
    what a model citizen
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