2016-12-31 at 2:01 AM UTC
This story is 100% fictitious.
Chapter One
My name is, not important. What is important to this story is that I run a very lucrative business. It seems everyone these days is looking for the latest and greatest thrill. It started when I worked as a darknet killer for hire. Surprisingly not many people are looking to hire murders these days. Cant blame em, its a dirty business. From the jobs I did get the pay was good enough.
Then one day I logged into my site to check for messages, of which serious ones were rare. I came across one that perked my interest among the usual spam and trolls. The important details are that this guy wanted someone else to plan a murder for him. This is something I am very familiar with but was unsure how one would price the a "murder plan". Generally my clients pay for the service not the consult. I asked him some of the necessary details on what he wanted and it was rather straight forward though somewhat bizzare. The short of it is that this guy had a husband. Got married at the height of the marriage equality push or some shit. Turns out this guy isnt as gay as he thought he was and he has a nice little life insurance policy on his husband. And my client had such a stick up his ass over this guy that he really needed to do it himself.
"I dont care if I use a gun, a knife or my own two hands. It just has to be by MY own two hands" one of our correspondence read, "Im smart enough to know I cant just kill him but I dont know how I would cover it up. The spouse is always the first suspect arent they?" read another.
After little thought I told him I would have a murder plan for him in exchange for a share of the insurance money. He happily obliged. I set about coming up with a few ideas and quickly narrowed it down to two pretty solid choices. Neither of them that intricate actually. The first was to basically knock him off a ladder. Given sufficient distance and angle the fall I constructed should do the trick. The second was to stage a tragic cleaning accident. A standard bleach and ammonia poisoning would do the trick. As I said, they were simple but were planned meticulously. To this day I still dont know which plan he used but it worked because I he hasn't missed a payment.
Since then I have updated my site and added "murder consultant" to my list of services and it is paying off nicely. Some of my clients are very specific like who they need to murder, others they dont really care who, just how. The latter are much easier to plan.
2017-01-14 at 3:56 AM UTC
basically though. Thats about the exact hook I needed to make this piece work.
2017-01-14 at 4:17 AM UTC
im gunna fukin kill u if you beein cheeky
2017-01-14 at 4:29 AM UTC
Pretty good. You should put together some shitty deepweb site to go with that story. That'd be cool.
2017-01-17 at 12:36 AM UTC
I would read this if I didn't have a life and fulfilling hobbies and social life, lel.
